Too Similar

Petunia844 · May 2012

As thought losing our puppy at this point in life isn't hard enough... some things about it are just too similar... the last thing I need right now are flashbacks. First, my husband had to answer what we wanted to do with his body. Then, they asked if we wanted paw prints, when my husband asked I just started crying and barely got out "no, I have enough prints." Now, I keep getting emails from the rescue and having to ask someone to take me off their damn lists. This just sucks.

At a time when it's so important that I have hope and faith, I feel like every time my husband and I try to bring new life into our house it's just taken away.

mollywobbles13 · May 2012

I'm so very sorry. *hugs*

pottermommy · May 2012

Breathe, just remember to breathe. I didn't lose a pet right after losing Kam but I lost my mama 4 months after Kam died, I know that the next loss just throws you into a downward spiral and you feel like your world is shattering all over again.

I am certain this is making you even more scared for that LO you are carrying right now and I know this is the wrong board for this post but in true PGAL fashion. Today you are pregnant and you love that baby.

Remember that fate isn't out to get you, I promise it isn't, and that your feelings are valid and not crazy, just breathe breathe breathe. And remember that puppy with as much love as you remember your angel baby.

You are such a good mama to have gotten a puppy and to now have made the diffucult choice to keep it from suffereing, your little angel is hugging its puppy right now and getting lots and lots of wet slobbers. Huge hugs.

jbranden12 · May 2012

I'm so sorry, Petunia. This is so unfair.

Petunia844 · May 2012

pottermommy:
Remember that fate isn't out to get you, I promise it isn't, and that your feelings are valid and not crazy, just breathe breathe breathe.

This is my problem...I know it isn't logical, but I really have trouble believing that the world is not out to get me. You're right, I'm even more scared now.

weddedwife · May 2012

No, the world is not out to get you though it may feel like it. The world is a random place where crappy things sometimes happen. The way I figure it, you are just that much more likely to have something good happen to you now. The odds are in your favor kinda thing.

At least, this is what I have to believe!

krysiahamaty · May 2012

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Hugs.

pottermommy · May 2012

Oh sweetie believe me I do know the feeling I really really do, but it isn't, it isn't, it isn't. I know it is hard to believe that and it is harder to listen to someone else say it but I promise it is true.

Just take a minute to sit back and think of all the amazing things you DO have. You have a husband who loves you and both of your babies unconditionally, you woke up this morning to see today, you have that little baby waiting to meet you.

You have women here that love and understand you, you have a family that wants only good things for you. You have an angel that watches for you and loves you everyday, and you have memories of him forever that no one can take away.

Sometimes it is so easy to ignore the things infront of us that we do have because the pain of the things we no longer have is so great. But sit back and look at them and remember that you have all of these things in your life, so it can't be out to take everything away.

The loss of your angel and followed so soon by bicuit is traumatic and will make you worry more and more about wse but remember you can only lose something that you already have which means that you have and have had amazing things and people in your life and the happy memories will always be there.

I don't know if this made sence or helped at all but I can't think of another way to explain it to you. If I could hug you IRL I would.

lrichmond86 · May 2012

I totally get this. Losing a puppy shortly after you lose your baby brings up all of the emotions that you've worked so hard to push through. I wish that I had good advice for dealing with this, but all I can say is that "this too shall pass". I promise that it gets easier. We felt the same way after we lost Thorton. It was like reliving every moment of the loss of baby Gary. We didn't understand it. I still don't really understand it. But it gets easier. I'm so sorry that this is so painful for you right now. Please know that DH and I have been thinking of you and Mark. Like I said to you before, wouldn't it be nice if baby Gary and Peyton and our puppies were all up in Heaven playing together, getting puppy kisses and giggling? I have to think this way or else it's too much for me to bear. Keep up the good fight! Hugs!

pb127 · May 2012

It's similar but not the same. Don't let yourself link the two, as hard as it is. Big (((hugs))) and many good thoughts your way.

Mrs Nice · May 2012

I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. I just want to give you a BIG Hug! Things just have to get better from here! Try to stay positive, stress is not good for your new LO one the way. BTW, I love the name you have picked out!

Petunia844 · May 2012

Thank you so much ladies, I know you're all right... I know I have too many good things in my life for the world to be out to get me... it's just so hard when you get poured on all at once. I don't know what I'd do without you all understanding me so well. When I got home today there were flowers sitting on our doorstep from the vet- cue another flashback. ::sigh::