Your discipline techniques for LO

Natsboys · May 2012

I'm curious as to what everyone is doing at this age. I started time outs. I can't say DS really gets it much but I think he is understanding somewhat that he is in trouble. I give him 2 warnings and the third put him in time out inn a corner (while I kind of hold him so he doesn't run away ) for a minute. If he bites me or does something really unacceptable I bring him to timeout immediately.

Any other ideas? I've done the occasional mild slap in the hand (terrible yes) but nothing that would hurt him and he mocks me by slapping his hand and going no no. So I could see how that wouldn't be productive anyways lol.

pixieprincss · May 2012

We do positive discipline with natural consquences.

A few examples:

Create a "yes enviornment'. For example, he plays with my unplugged hair dryer almost every day under my watchful eye. Yes, playing with corded things isn't something most people imagine saying yes to, but I see no issue with his curiosity since I am right there and it is unplugged. If I don't want him to play with it, the job is on me to put it where he can't get it versus leaving it an an accessible spot and telling him, "No, don't touch." The enviornment allows for curiosity and lots of "yesses".

If he cannot listen, then we remove the temptation. For example, biting a balloon...first I say, "That is for hands only." If he does it again, I say, "That is for hands only. Can you keep your mouth off or does Mommy need to take it away?" Sometimes he'll hand it to me, sometimes he obeys, sometimes he bites it again and I take it away and redirect him to something else)

We do lots of choices. "It is time to go. Would you like to walk to the car on your own or would you like mommy to carry you?" If he doesn't respond, that means I choose for him and carry him.

RedZee · May 2012

pixieprincss:
We do lots of choices. "It is time to go. Would you like to walk to the car on your own or would you like mommy to carry you?" If he doesn't respond, that means I choose for him and carry him.

Does he ever make a choice? I think DD is extremely verbal and communicative. I try giving her choices but she never ever indicates which she wants to do. Instead, I usually end up saying, "it's time to do xyz".

Our main discipline issues right now are throwing food, opening a specific cabinet that has glass bowls in it (we've been meaning to put a lock on and just haven't which is unfair of us), and her pinching me as she's getting ready to go to sleep (I rock her before her nap). For food throwing, we showed her a spot on her tray and told her to put food there if she doesn't want it. She does it sometimes, but then often still throws food.

I am at a loss about the pinching. She pinched me so hard and so much one day that I had horrible black and blues on my arm. I try saying , "That hurts and I don't like it. I don't pinch you, please don't pinch me." But that doesn't work. I have tried putting her down in her crib after a warning. Sometimes she just falls asleep, other times she screams and then I come back a minute later.

I am planning on reading some AP parenting books, but haven't figured out what to get. If anyone has a good recommendation, please post about it!

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2012

pixieprincss:

We do positive discipline with natural consquences.

A few examples:

Create a "yes enviornment'. For example, he plays with my unplugged hair dryer almost every day under my watchful eye. Yes, playing with corded things isn't something most people imagine saying yes to, but I see no issue with his curiosity since I am right there and it is unplugged. If I don't want him to play with it, the job is on me to put it where he can't get it versus leaving it an an accessible spot and telling him, "No, don't touch." The enviornment allows for curiosity and lots of "yesses".

If he cannot listen, then we remove the temptation. For example, biting a balloon...first I say, "That is for hands only." If he does it again, I say, "That is for hands only. Can you keep your mouth off or does Mommy need to take it away?" Sometimes he'll hand it to me, sometimes he obeys, sometimes he bites it again and I take it away and redirect him to something else)

We do lots of choices. "It is time to go. Would you like to walk to the car on your own or would you like mommy to carry you?" If he doesn't respond, that means I choose for him and carry him.

This is what we do as well.

kknapp25 · May 2012

i was pulling up the bump to post about this same issue!!!! i just finished a battle with my guy & was super frustrated so i wanted to see what other people are doing. i'm on the verge of loosing it. when patrick is good he's as sweet & as cute as could be. i love it when he's happy & playful, he can be hilarious. but with no warning he turns into a monster & his tantrums are getting ridiculous. at this point we've been making a lot of excuses for him (we just had baby #2 less than 2 months ago so we cut him a lot of slack in case it was just "adjusting" to having to share time with his new brother) and we also realize that he's going to test us, it's all part of development, but he's hurting himself, us, the baby, the dog....lately he's even been getting sweaty when he's throwing a tantrum...it's crazy! we've tried ignoring it, we've trying picking him up & holding him, we've tried scolding him, we've tried "time outs", and we've tried removing him from the situation...like taking him outside to just try to change the environment, see if something will distract him & reset the temper...sometimes things work, other times the same things fail...so we're at a loss. but he's a big kid (30lbs) & pretty strong too so i'm feeling like soon i'll be out powered. i would like to use positive reinforcement to get him to switch gears but so far it hasn't worked for me, i just think he's too young to understand

broccolitree · May 2012

RedZee:
Our main discipline issues right now are throwing food, opening a specific cabinet that has glass bowls in it (we've been meaning to put a lock on and just haven't which is unfair of us), and her pinching me as she's getting ready to go to sleep (I rock her before her nap). For food throwing, we showed her a spot on her tray and told her to put food there if she doesn't want it. She does it sometimes, but then often still throws food.
I am at a loss about the pinching. She pinched me so hard and so much one day that I had horrible black and blues on my arm. I try saying , "That hurts and I don't like it. I don't pinch you, please don't pinch me." But that doesn't work. I have tried putting her down in her crib after a warning. Sometimes she just falls asleep, other times she screams and then I come back a minute later.

For both these, try the options. For Joaquin, we tell her, 'stop throwing food, or you are done eating.' If she keeps throwing food, we take the tray away (though now when she's done she'll deliberately throw food to the ground, heh). It only took a couple repetitions for her to understand that momma's not playing. When she starts pinching, say 'either you will stop pinching mommy or you are going in your crib.' Joaquin sometimes wants to cuddle, but sometimes squirms like a madman. I tell her, 'stop squirming or you go in your crib,' and then follow through. If she screams about it, I wait at least 10 minutes before going in.

freeatlast2014 · May 2012

These are all great ideas cause I have none and I'm creating a monster!

Natsboys · May 2012

Love the positive discipline! I have to try some of this. Our family is a big believer of time out since it worked for our now 7 year old DSS but I would be willing to try something more positive.

debperdoo · May 2012

We do warnings and timeouts, our biggest problems are hitting the glass on our china closet, or the tv, and biting, he use to do the food throwing but taking his tray away seemed to work best. When he hits the tv or china closet we pick him up and put him in the toy room, he often comes back, we tell him if he does it again he will go in time out, and at this point sometimes he puts himself in timeout, other times it does not matter, on the 3rd try he goes in time out, we put him in the same corner every time, sometimes he stays there sometimes he does not, I dont think he really gets time out yet, but it distracts him and gives him a moment to have a melt down if he wants too.

pixieprincss · May 2012

RedZee:

pixieprincss:
We do lots of choices. "It is time to go. Would you like to walk to the car on your own or would you like mommy to carry you?" If he doesn't respond, that means I choose for him and carry him.

Does he ever make a choice? I think DD is extremely verbal and communicative. I try giving her choices but she never ever indicates which she wants to do. Instead, I usually end up saying, "it's time to do xyz".

Our main discipline issues right now are throwing food, opening a specific cabinet that has glass bowls in it (we've been meaning to put a lock on and just haven't which is unfair of us), and her pinching me as she's getting ready to go to sleep (I rock her before her nap). For food throwing, we showed her a spot on her tray and told her to put food there if she doesn't want it. She does it sometimes, but then often still throws food.

I am at a loss about the pinching. She pinched me so hard and so much one day that I had horrible black and blues on my arm. I try saying , "That hurts and I don't like it. I don't pinch you, please don't pinch me." But that doesn't work. I have tried putting her down in her crib after a warning. Sometimes she just falls asleep, other times she screams and then I come back a minute later.

I am planning on reading some AP parenting books, but haven't figured out what to get. If anyone has a good recommendation, please post about it!

DS does indeed choose in the sense that you are asking quite a bit of the time. But, I see him as choosing 100% of the time, even if it is the "me scooping him up" choice. At this age, non-response is a choice IMO. Even if your DD doesn't yet respond, continuing to offer the choices teaches you how to do the method and make it habit so when she gets to the point where she does repond, you'll be a pro at coming up with two options for every situation. Also, I don't know if you do this or not, but saying baby's name, waiting for baby to look at you (we started working on this very young), then getting to her eye level before offering the two has helped us.

I have not found any AP books for this age/stage that I love, but I do "like" Attachment Parenting International on FB and they post helpful articles.

In terms of beloved AP-style books in general, here is my upcoming reading list...

Unconditional Parenting
Rasing Our Children Raising Ourselves
Playful Parenting
The Continuum Concept
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk
Siblings Without Rivalry
Dr. Sears has several (The Attachment Parenting Book, The Baby Book gives AP developmental as well as a section on AP for little babies)

RachelMarie83 · May 2012

My undergraduate degree is in child psychology, so I probably over think these things.

The concept of timeout is not typically effective until the child is between 24 and 30 months. This is because of their short attention span early in life, and therefore the child forgets why they are sitting in timeout thus making the punishment useless.

If I see DD doing something she is not supposed to, I say something direct (such as "no mouth"). I then redirect her to an activity that is safe and where she can have fun. It has worked for me thus far, and we have very few battles.

pawcall · May 2012

RachelMarie83:
If I see DD doing something she is not supposed to, I say something direct (such as "no mouth"). I then redirect her to an activity that is safe and where she can have fun. It has worked for me thus far, and we have very few battles.

This is what we do too, although maybe it's a personality thing? Aidan's not really the mischief type. The one place we have trouble is that he's started slapping us in the face while being held. When that happens, i firmly say "we don't hit" and put him down. it seems to be working.

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