Time Cover - Extended BF

MrsCaddyshack · May 2012

Opinions?

https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2012/05/time-cover-shows-3-year-old-breast-feeding/

MrsCaddyshack · May 2012

BFing a child that can talk freaks me out, just my personal opinion.

However, I think that anything that can hurt support of BFing overall is kind of not cool. So I guess I'm torn on this one.

Mrs.Greeko · May 2012

My daughters were talking by 9 months. My oldest said her first words at 7 months.

I BF my first till she was 15 months and my second till she was 22 months (and really only weaned because I was about 10 weeks pregnant and it was hurting me). My middle daughter would very literally beg to nurse up until we weaned. It never bothered me.

I will let DS self-wean, which was the plan with DD#2, except being pregnant threw a wrench into it. After about 18 months I adopt the "don't offer, don't refuse" policy for nursing. A few months later I adopt the "we generally only nurse at home" policy because I'm not a huge fan of the side eyes you get nursing an almost 2 year old.

It's not weird to BF your older baby (and yes they are still babies at 22 months, 24 months, etc). At least it never felt weird to me. I figure DS will likely nurse till around 2. A 3 year old is more of a stretch for me personally, but I could see how it can get to that point pretty easily. Some babies don't wean easily and I don't see much problem with allowing them to self-wean. If mom is pushing BFing after 18 months then I see a problem.

valerieanne9015 · May 2012

I feel like the cover puts a bad spin on BF. Personally extended BF is not for me, my goal right now is 6 months, long term if I make it to a year I will be happy. I see nothing wrogn with a mom BF her child as long as the child still wants to, but if it's being forced on the child then there is a problem. I almost have to laugh at the picture because it looks so awakward and fake almost.

Also, I kinda feel bad for the kid. What's it going to be like for him when he's 14 and one of his buddies finds out about this picture?

MrsCaddyshack · May 2012

Mrs.Greeko:

I will let DS self-wean, which was the plan with DD#2, except being pregnant threw a wrench into it. After about 18 months I adopt the "don't offer, don't refuse" policy for nursing. A few months later I adopt the "we generally only nurse at home" policy because I'm not a huge fan of the side eyes you get nursing an almost 2 year old.

... If mom is pushing BFing after 18 months then I see a problem.

It sounds like you set parameters and that they make total sense. I think with parenting in general, it's really all a personal choice and what works best for each family. But 3 seems excessive.

smilelari · May 2012

Well, for me it's hard to think that it's "weird" to BF a child that walks and talks considering that even the AAP recommends BFing until at least a year and a lot of kids are walking and talking by then. I've never experienced weaning really because I EPed for DS, but I think the plan is to let it happen naturally. If baby still wants to nurse past a year, I'm good with that. If not, I'm good with that too.

Froggy76 · May 2012

Extended BF doesn't bother me, and neither does the picture. However, pictures like this further perpetuate the stereotype that BFing is weird or gross.

NineTwentyOhEight · May 2012

I started reading the comments and it just made my blood boil.

I will never, ever in a million years get why anyone would be "offended" by seeing a woman breastfeed. IT IS THE WAY NATURE INTENDED US TO FEED OUR CHILDREN. I just don't get the big deal and I think it is very much an American issue.

I also just don't think it's a big deal if people choose to breastfeed past the point that "society" deems acceptable because I think it should be up to the mom and baby.

My goal when I had Ada was to BF for one year - mainly my goal is just no formula. So far we are going strong. Assuming I make it to that one year mark, I will then just see what happens. I think the "don't offer/don't refuse" method is good and also I think even a 12 or 18 month old can learn that they can BF at home but not out in public, etc. I just figure as long as it's still working for me and Ada, why stop? There are for sure health benefits, and I just don't think it's bad to comfort your baby in a way that works, even if that is nursing a two or three year old.

Mrs.Greeko · May 2012

Oh man, I just looked at the picture. Yeah, the picture is pretty awful and makes extended BFing look "weird" and gross. BFing my 22 month old was still always done in the cradle hold, just like a baby. She's almost 3 now and I could still hold her in the cradle hold to nurse if she was still nursing. I wouldn't have my kid stand on a chair to nurse or stand to nurse period. The cover is insulting.

MrsCaddyshack · May 2012

smilelari:
Well, for me it's hard to think that it's "weird" to BF a child that walks and talks considering that even the AAP recommends BFing until at least a year and a lot of kids are walking and talking by then.

If I'm BFing my 11 month old and she's able to toddle around and has a few words seems very different to me than a three year old who can have a conversation with me and will remember the act of breastfeeding. That's just not for me and my family...

Magriet · May 2012

Mrs.Greeko:

My daughters were talking by 9 months. My oldest said her first words at 7 months.

I BF my first till she was 15 months and my second till she was 22 months (and really only weaned because I was about 10 weeks pregnant and it was hurting me). My middle daughter would very literally beg to nurse up until we weaned. It never bothered me.

I will let DS self-wean, which was the plan with DD#2, except being pregnant threw a wrench into it. After about 18 months I adopt the "don't offer, don't refuse" policy for nursing. A few months later I adopt the "we generally only nurse at home" policy because I'm not a huge fan of the side eyes you get nursing an almost 2 year old.

It's not weird to BF your older baby (and yes they are still babies at 22 months, 24 months, etc). At least it never felt weird to me. I figure DS will likely nurse till around 2. A 3 year old is more of a stretch for me personally, but I could see how it can get to that point pretty easily. Some babies don't wean easily and I don't see much problem with allowing them to self-wean. If mom is pushing BFing after 18 months then I see a problem.

Yes Yes

valerieanne9015 · May 2012

Mrs.Greeko:
Oh man, I just looked at the picture. Yeah, the picture is pretty awful and makes extended BFing look "weird" and gross. BFing my 22 month old was still always done in the cradle hold, just like a baby. She's almost 3 now and I could still hold her in the cradle hold to nurse if she was still nursing. I wouldn't have my kid stand on a chair to nurse or stand to nurse period. The cover is insulting.

Exactly. I don't think people have a problem with extended BF, it's more of the way the picture portrays it. Just the way they are standing makes it look unnatural and awkward. Plus it doesn't help that he looks like a big 3y/o!

RedCamaro · May 2012

I hear ya. At some point it begins to hurt them emotionally (some, not all kids). I certainly won't tell another BFing mom my opinions about her BFing. I just won't be doing it that long myself.

RedCamaro · May 2012

Estwd2:

It's not for me to say how people feed their kids, but I wish the mom on that cover would have stopped to think about why the photographer wanted her posed that way with her son standing on the chair. It's not meant to look like a maternal, natural, "breastfeeding is beautiful at any age" pose. It's meant to look odd, therefore out of place, therefore unnatural.

I showed it to my coworker (not a mom, no knowledge of EBF or AP, but did grow up in a BF household and saw her mom BF her younger brother). Even she said "Ew, gross. That's disturbing." To me, this photo does not help this mother's cause; it hurts it. She's hoping to advocate for EBF, but all this will accomplish is for people with no knowledge of it to say "Ew, gross. That's disturbing."

Plus, who's to say that this kid is going to grow up thinking this was a great idea. He may get to be an older child, a teen, or an adult and then say "Wow, I really wish you hadn't put me on the cover of TIME freakin' magazine sucking on your boob." My aunt was the poster child for a crippled children's organization back in the 50s. She was incredibly embarrassed about it and never wanted to talk about it. How much you expose your child now may actually bother them later in life.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there!

smilelari · May 2012

If anyone wants to know what a nursing toddler really looks like, the one in this picture is almost 3 years old. Nothing weird about it.

kajordan09 · May 2012

Meh, I don't see what the big deal is about the picture. I know mothers of toddlers that nurse their children that way, sometimes the mother is on her knees and the child is standing on the floor, but its generally the same position. She's just "telling" it like it is! Isn't that the point of the article?

blue2355 · May 2012

I had read that in Europe its not uncommon to continue BF until age 5.

littlewinnie15 · May 2012

RedCamaro:
Estwd2:

It's not for me to say how people feed their kids, but I wish the mom on that cover would have stopped to think about why the photographer wanted her posed that way with her son standing on the chair. It's not meant to look like a maternal, natural, "breastfeeding is beautiful at any age" pose. It's meant to look odd, therefore out of place, therefore unnatural.

I showed it to my coworker (not a mom, no knowledge of EBF or AP, but did grow up in a BF household and saw her mom BF her younger brother). Even she said "Ew, gross. That's disturbing." To me, this photo does not help this mother's cause; it hurts it. She's hoping to advocate for EBF, but all this will accomplish is for people with no knowledge of it to say "Ew, gross. That's disturbing."

Plus, who's to say that this kid is going to grow up thinking this was a great idea. He may get to be an older child, a teen, or an adult and then say "Wow, I really wish you hadn't put me on the cover of TIME freakin' magazine sucking on your boob." My aunt was the poster child for a crippled children's organization back in the 50s. She was incredibly embarrassed about it and never wanted to talk about it. How much you expose your child now may actually bother them later in life.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there!

Ditto!

Smilelari, you are right - the photo you posted doesn't appear weird to me at all. But it would never be put on the cover of Time, because it's not "sensational" enough.

For me, I can't imagine BFing over a year. But that's just me. I don't judge others for going longer.

I think that anything, like this Time thing, that makes BFing (at any age) seem odd or outrageous, or is intended to spark debate, is detrimental to all of our efforts in BFing.We already struggle enough for the right to pump in the workplace. In America, we do not get enough maternity leave to give a lot of mothers the ability to establish proper BFing. We are shunned for BFing in public. Whether we BF for 6 weeks, 6 months, or 6 years, we should have the right to do it and for it not to be sensationalized.

duffmaker · May 2012

The cover pisses me off, it's provocative and completely distasteful and just gives BFing a bad look as if we don't get enough problems as it is.

I went through hell to get to where Maya and I are being able to EBF. My goal is one year, I would like to keep going as long as we can but I'd also like another child and unless I start ovulating once we beef up on solids then I'd like to wean her by January so we can TTGP... But if I'm ovulating then I'd be game to try tandum! I have no problem with 3 year olds BFing, if it's done tastefully... As in at home only like before bed kind of thing. FI's stepfather was BFed until 5... That creeps me out I mean the kid was probably in kindergarten by then!!

skipperkelly · May 2012

Little Winnie, I agree completely. The picture on the cover is just going to cause problems. BF my LO at 3 is not for me but to each their own.

Mom2Cinderella · May 2012

I have not had success with breastfeeding, but I personally would not breastfeed past a year, maybe 18 months. I am going by the fact that at one year, most pedis recommend switching to whole milk and table food. I know that breastfeeding in general has many benefits such as immunity. But there are also benefits to stopping the delivery of food through a nipple-whether a breast or bottle. My daughter was drinking from a sippie cup and a straw by one year and eating table food. Sucking through a straw strengthens the jaw and mouth muscles, which increases the ability to chew and talk. Also, eating table food can become impossible if the child does not learn how to swallow. I know this because my bff's little boy had health issues and had a feeding tube. For several reasons, he developed a sensory issue and would not eat because he was not used to the feeling of food in his mouth and would gag or refuse solid food. I saw this mother on the Today Show this AM and she said they are going to start BLW. Does that mean that this almost 4 yr old has not started eating solids yet?

I think breastfeeding is best, and I support those who are able to do it in any quantity. But I think there comes a time in the human development where the nutritional value of breastfeeding, which is what it's really supposed to be about, is no longer the main objective or needed. I think at this age (3 or 4) its more about the security and sucking for the child just like a pacifier. I know it is hard to wean a child from those items, but most people take a pacifier away once the child is past a certain age.

valerieanne9015 · May 2012

Mom2Cinderella:

I have not had success with breastfeeding, but I personally would not breastfeed past a year, maybe 18 months. I am going by the fact that at one year, most pedis recommend switching to whole milk and table food. I know that breastfeeding in general has many benefits such as immunity. But there are also benefits to stopping the delivery of food through a nipple-whether a breast or bottle. My daughter was drinking from a sippie cup and a straw by one year and eating table food. Sucking through a straw strengthens the jaw and mouth muscles, which increases the ability to chew and talk. Also, eating table food can become impossible if the child does not learn how to swallow. I know this because my bff's little boy had health issues and had a feeding tube. For several reasons, he developed a sensory issue and would not eat because he was not used to the feeling of food in his mouth and would gag or refuse solid food. I saw this mother on the Today Show this AM and she said they are going to start BLW. Does that mean that this almost 4 yr old has not started eating solids yet?

I think breastfeeding is best, and I support those who are able to do it in any quantity. But I think there comes a time in the human development where the nutritional value of breastfeeding, which is what it's really supposed to be about, is no longer the main objective or needed. I think at this age (3 or 4) its more about the security and sucking for the child just like a pacifier. I know it is hard to wean a child from those items, but most people take a pacifier away once the child is past a certain age.

That is kind of disturbing if a 3 year old is just starting to do BLW. I'm hopeing what she said just came out wrong!

MrsCaddyshack · May 2012

valerieanne9015:
Mom2Cinderella:

I have not had success with breastfeeding, but I personally would not breastfeed past a year, maybe 18 months. I am going by the fact that at one year, most pedis recommend switching to whole milk and table food. I know that breastfeeding in general has many benefits such as immunity. But there are also benefits to stopping the delivery of food through a nipple-whether a breast or bottle. My daughter was drinking from a sippie cup and a straw by one year and eating table food. Sucking through a straw strengthens the jaw and mouth muscles, which increases the ability to chew and talk. Also, eating table food can become impossible if the child does not learn how to swallow. I know this because my bff's little boy had health issues and had a feeding tube. For several reasons, he developed a sensory issue and would not eat because he was not used to the feeling of food in his mouth and would gag or refuse solid food. I saw this mother on the Today Show this AM and she said they are going to start BLW. Does that mean that this almost 4 yr old has not started eating solids yet?

I think breastfeeding is best, and I support those who are able to do it in any quantity. But I think there comes a time in the human development where the nutritional value of breastfeeding, which is what it's really supposed to be about, is no longer the main objective or needed. I think at this age (3 or 4) its more about the security and sucking for the child just like a pacifier. I know it is hard to wean a child from those items, but most people take a pacifier away once the child is past a certain age.

That is kind of disturbing if a 3 year old is just starting to do BLW. I'm hopeing what she said just came out wrong!

She did say she was allowing her child to wean himself. I assumed, however, that she just meant she would stop BFing based on his cues, not that he hadn't started eating solids yet.

authorofdreamz · May 2012

IMO the picture is not supposed to show what nursing a toddler actually looks like (although I found Smilelari's photo just as disturbing) it is supposed to show what people picture when they hear that someone is nursing their 3YO. As far as the caption I think they did a good job of exemplifying the attitude that many people have, that BFing makes you a better mom and the only reason people don't is because they are lazy/selfish.

Mom2Cinderella · May 2012

I was just wondering about something. I wonder how old animal babies are when they stop suckling and begin drinking water and eating grass, etc.

authorofdreamz · May 2012

Mom2Cinderella:
I was just wondering about something. I wonder how old animal babies are when they stop suckling and begin drinking water and eating grass, etc.

It's different for every animal. Some as young as 3 weeks old (hamsters) and some as old as 5 years (dolphins)

Magriet · May 2012

littlewinnie15:
RedCamaro:
Estwd2:

Ditto!

Smilelari, you are right - the photo you posted doesn't appear weird to me at all. But it would never be put on the cover of Time, because it's not "sensational" enough.

For me, I can't imagine BFing over a year. But that's just me. I don't judge others for going longer.

I think that anything, like this Time thing, that makes BFing (at any age) seem odd or outrageous, or is intended to spark debate, is detrimental to all of our efforts in BFing.We already struggle enough for the right to pump in the workplace. In America, we do not get enough maternity leave to give a lot of mothers the ability to establish proper BFing. We are shunned for BFing in public. Whether we BF for 6 weeks, 6 months, or 6 years, we should have the right to do it and for it not to be sensationalized.