Work baby shower drama ? VENT!

kupkate6 · May 2012

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I need to vent?I?ll be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow due in early October with my first little one. I have two male co-workers whose wives are also pregnant with their second and third babies due in September and June, respectively. Another co-worker of mine sent out an email saying that she was going to pick up a gift card for the one due in June and said if anyone wanted to chip in, to let her know. I thought this was a great idea and was all about it. My boss ended up sending this email to his wife. She decided that she wanted to throw a coed baby shower for all of us in a few weeks before the baby in June is born because she didn?t want anyone to feel left out. Instead of coming directly to me to check on my availability, she went to the office big mouth to try and coordinate. Unfortunately, all of the dates they picked were Sunday?s when my husband works. Since it is coed, this didn?t really work. Then they picked a date when he was out of town and are now trying for Memorial Day weekend when we already have plans. I emailed my bosses wife and thanked her for her generosity, but informed her that unfortunately all of our weekends in May and June are already booked and that if she found a date that worked for the guys that she should move forward with it because I know how difficult it is to get a big group of people together. She then went to another co-worker, who had already communicated that she was going to throw a shower for me later this year, to see if I would be willing rearrange my schedule so that I could come. This is after that fact that she said if it didn?t work out, we would have another one later on. I am just so frustrated by all of the sneaking around. Don?t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful that they are willing to throw a shower for me. But at this point, I am kind of over it. If I don?t have a work shower, it?s not the end of the world.

Sorry for this being so long, but I feel waaaaay better now. So thankful for TB!

mben1119 · May 2012

Why can't you go without your husband?

Kasi80 · May 2012

Even if it's co-ed your husband doesn't have to be there. It's a work shower, not a close family and friends type of thing.

cookiemdough · May 2012

Go by yourself.

NHRunner · May 2012

why isn't the work shower during business hours? like just during lunch since you are all there already? that is at least how we do them where I work. we just use a conference room and hold the shower there.

JayMOOMOO · May 2012

NHRunner:
why isn't the work shower during business hours? like just during lunch since you are all there already? that is at least how we do them where I work. we just use a conference room and hold the shower there.

This...... Something like an office luncheon.

cwm11985 · May 2012

Since its your husband who is booked up, you should still go-its really NBD if he isn't there. Its hard on the hostess to have to continue to try to find a date to accomodate someone who isn't pregnant...

daniellerm23 · May 2012

I would still go without him.

kupkate6 · May 2012

Since it is our first baby, my husband wants to be involved in all aspects. It took us a long time to get pregnant and we don't know if it will happen again. We are trying to soak up all the good things that come with having a baby. I feel very honored that my husband wants to be so involved and wants to be with me at my very first baby shower.

If it were up to me, we would just have something at work. But I work in the finance industry and everyone on my team besides me makes a lot of money. They have to make a big deal about everything.

I said that if I don't get a shower, I won't feel left out. I don't want them to have to find another date for me. If it works for them, I want them to move forward.

RachelOC · May 2012

Okay I have never heard of bringing non work people to work baby showers, but thats just me. Plus, baby showers ARE sneaky! The hostesses usually want to surprise the mom so they try not to leave everything about it out in the open. Just go to shower alone or ask them to make it during lunch or extend lunch if that is possible.

TravelSnob · May 2012

I think you're being unreasonable. They want to throw you a party, I think you should accept it and go even though your husband won't be there. I realize he's excited and I would be bummed out, but I wouldn't refuse to go over it.

LilBlkDress1 · May 2012

I get that your husband wants to be involved but when you're coordinating it with this many other people as well and when he has a lot of dates that work for everyone else but not for him he might have to suck this one up and you might have to go without him. He can be involved in everything else.

SGC29 · May 2012

kupkate6:
Since it is our first baby, my husband wants to be involved in all aspects. It took us a long time to get pregnant and we don't know if it will happen again. We are trying to soak up all the good things that come with having a baby. I feel very honored that my husband wants to be so involved and wants to be with me at my very first baby shower.
If it were up to me, we would just have something at work. But I work in the finance industry and everyone on my team besides me makes a lot of money. They have to make a big deal about everything.
I said that if I don't get a shower, I won't feel left out. I don't want them to have to find another date for me. If it works for them, I want them to move forward.

Then I wouldn't worry about it any further. I do think though it is pretty silly to decline an invite for someone to throw you a shower simply because your husband has a conflicting schedule. If I were the host I may feel a little insulted, but that it just me.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

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MomiJerz · May 2012

TravelSnob:
I think you're being unreasonable. They want to throw you a party, I think you should accept it and go even though your husband won't be there. I realize he's excited and I would be bummed out, but I wouldn't refuse to go over it.

This !!!

HappyMama2011 · May 2012

SGC29:
kupkate6:
Since it is our first baby, my husband wants to be involved in all aspects. It took us a long time to get pregnant and we don't know if it will happen again. We are trying to soak up all the good things that come with having a baby. I feel very honored that my husband wants to be so involved and wants to be with me at my very first baby shower.
If it were up to me, we would just have something at work. But I work in the finance industry and everyone on my team besides me makes a lot of money. They have to make a big deal about everything.
I said that if I don't get a shower, I won't feel left out. I don't want them to have to find another date for me. If it works for them, I want them to move forward.
Then I wouldn't worry about it any further. I do think though it is pretty silly to decline an invite for someone to throw you a shower simply because your husband has a conflicting schedule. If I were the host I may feel a little insulted, but that it just me.

Totally agree. You aren't being very gracious. I would be worried about looking like a diva to your boss since it is his wife trying to organize it. This is a shared work shower, so not a big deal. Your H can go to the one with your family and friends.

tinyhumantoe · May 2012

I spend a ridiculous amount of time at work. Why isn't this shower during the week, like at the end of the day? Are people actually going to come? Yowsers...

I say go without your husband. If it really doesn't work out for you, tell her sorry!

BronzeMama · May 2012

My office environment is so unfriendly... I think it's a blessing to have co workers who care enough to do something like this for you. I understand that you want hubby to go. But... if he can't, you can just show pictures, right? Maybe he can skype in.

pumpkinwife07 · May 2012

It's a work shower, go by yourself. Your DH doesn't have to be there. Personally, you seem kind of selfish. Be thankful.

LetsHikeToday · May 2012

kupkate6:
Since it is our first baby, my husband wants to be involved in all aspects. It took us a long time to get pregnant and we don't know if it will happen again. We are trying to soak up all the good things that come with having a baby. I feel very honored that my husband wants to be so involved and wants to be with me at my very first baby shower.
If it were up to me, we would just have something at work. But I work in the finance industry and everyone on my team besides me makes a lot of money. They have to make a big deal about everything.
I said that if I don't get a shower, I won't feel left out. I don't want them to have to find another date for me. If it works for them, I want them to move forward.

I think you are being unreasonable. People are being gracious enough to throw you a shower but you are turning them down because your husband can't be there and now complaining about it. It's not like you only had ONE weekend filled in May and June and they picked that weekend. You have no weekends open.

I also don't know why you can't just go without your husband, even if he would like to be there but that's another issue in itself.

Carla6394 · May 2012

TravelSnob:
I think you're being unreasonable. They want to throw you a party, I think you should accept it and go even though your husband won't be there. I realize he's excited and I would be bummed out, but I wouldn't refuse to go over it.

This.

yes, I am not sure why your husband needs to be there... especially because it is a work shower thing... Would his heart be broken not to go?

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