Community› The Bump Month Clubs› June 2012 Moms
June 2012 Moms
New Discussion

Help With a Step Mom!!

Motoko75Motoko75
in June 2012 Moms

So my mother passed away when I was 18 and if it isn't hard enough now, being pregnant with my first, it's trippled by the fact that my mother was the baby whisperer. She was a prenatal nurse, a lactaion consultant, she taught child birth classes, you name it and she did. So It super sucks not having her around as we go through our first pregnancy.

My sister just gave birth to her first a few weeks ago and of course is faced with similiar feelings. When she suggested a "Grandparent" class to my father and step mom (Who has never had children of her own and came into our lives when we were grown adults) they sort of laughed and said "Oh Im sure it will come back us" My dad hasnt been around infants in almost 30 years and my step mom, never having children, has nothing to "come back" Plus things are so different these days!

Just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similiar situation. Its hard to hear her say "Come to grandma!!!" when it should be my mom. We have talked somewhat about it but my sister and i always clam up in fear of hurting her. We have grown to love our step mom but its not the same. And on another level she has ZERO experience with infants or children. My sister said she didnt even know to hold up an infants head when she held my nephew. I dont want to insult her or hurt her feelings but I was wondering if there was a way to suggest a little help for them, a "refresher" or if anyone knew of any good books for first time grandparents?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Help With a Step Mom!!

  • mamayo26mamayo26 member

    If they won't take the class see what might be available at your local library or even on amazon...I saw a couple books, but cannot remember what they were (sorry).

    my parents have come the realization that things have definetly changed, but in your situation I would jsut be frank with your dad and say she doesnt have experience and bring up the incedent with your nephew as proof and just say that you want to feel comfortable with them being around your new baby.

    You are the mom and times have definetly changed, so all the stuff that "will come back" isn't necessarily the right way to do things any more and he (and she) will have to accept that or you will have to decide how much "alone time" they get to have...just my two cents on how I would handle it.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • JessieCupcakeJessieCupcake member

    I'm sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how incredibly hard it must be for you right now.*hugs*

    I think with your Step-Mom, I would just keep an eye on her when she's holding the baby to make sure she's doing it right. Maybe ask her to sit when she's holding the baby and provide a pillow for support. 

    If you are really worried about both your dad and step-mom, don't let them babysit at first. Watch how they are with the baby and don't leave baby alone with them until you are totally comfortable.

    I don't know of any books for first time grandparents but that would be a great idea. I hope you can find something.

    Also in terms of step-mom being "grandma", I think since you seem to have a good relationship with her it will get easier in time. Remember your mom is still grandma even though she has passed.

    My father passed away many years ago and I will still show baby pictures of him and explain that this is grandpa.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"