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Not doing well (preg/birth/baby mentioned-not mine)

littlepenguin2012littlepenguin2012 member
in Late Term and Child Loss

So my cousin was due with her baby in August.  Unfortunately, she went into preterm labor and they weren't able to stop it.  She did get the steroids early enough though and is at a really great NICU.  So her baby was born at 25 weeks and weighed less than a pound.

I am having such a hard time with this.  I know exactly what they are going though and I would NEVER wish a NICU experience on anyone.  I am so scared for them that things will go badly. (We aren't close, and I never heard from her after what happened with us, so I am just hearing this through my mom). The baby seems to be doing okay and is about 11 days old.  They seem very naive about the possibilities with a baby at such an early age, but I know we were at the beginning too.

I really, really hope the baby is okay, but hearing about it made me re-live our whole experience.  Plus our baby was older by several weeks and weighed more and was supposedly supposed to do so well, so each time I hear of a pre-term baby doing well it is hard for me not to think, that should have been us. 

This is so hard. 


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Re: Not doing well (preg/birth/baby mentioned-not mine)

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    I know what you mean sweetie. You don't wish anyone to have a loss, but it's so not far that our farther along babies didn't live.
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  • pb127pb127 member
    I struggle to with little ones with DS's issue doing well even though they were born smaller/earlier than him. It's really difficult.  Sending good thoughts to your cousin for a happy outcome and sending lots of (((hugs))) to you!
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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    This is hard for me too. Nathaniel didn't even survive the delivery, and yet I hear about babies being born earlier than him and surviving. I've had a few people when, after telling them about our loss, they go on to tell us about their friends who had their baby around when we did and their baby is alive and improving. I'm like WTF that is not helping.
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  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member

    I know exactly what you mean.  Our neighbors and very close friends had their baby at 23w4d.  They didn't expect him to make it but he did.  He's still in the NICU and now is battling pneumonia.  I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  He's 103 days old now.  Much older than my Corbin was.  I hate myself when I sit and think that it's not fair that our neighbors baby is still here and mine is not.  It comes and goes.  We try to be the best support we can to our neighbors and what I think is great is that they've taken what happened to us to heart and it helps them live their lives.

     This does suck and it is hard.

     {{HUGS}}

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    *HUGS*
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  • eroplaneeroplane member

    I am sorry you are re-living all this. I hope your cousins baby will be ok. 

    I know it's bad but I lurk on the preemie board as a sad way to try and justify the decisions we had to make even though I know we did the right thing.

    It sucks all around.  

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    IVF/ICSI #1 July/August 2011 BFP # 1 - B/G twins - preterm labor/cervical incompetency @ 23w3d FET # 1 March/April 2012 - BFN 5/1/12 FET # 2 July 2012 - BFN 7/24 FET # 3 BFP! EDD 5/15/13 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Pregnancy Ticker
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