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Attachment Parenting
BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11
BFP 7/6/11 Our Lucky Charm born 3/5/12
Help! LO screams while I'm at work : (
For the past 3 weeks I've been back to work 1 or 2 days a week, but I'm planning on going back to a more part to full time schedule very soon. LO is 8 weeks old and I've left him alone for maybe 2-3 short periods outside of work, and no more than 6 hours while I'm at work. We are lucky to have DH stay home with LO since he is a retired army vet on disability. Unfortunately, LO screams almost the whole time I'm gone! He is inconsolable and DH says the only time he stops crying is to eat. He is otherwise a happy baby and as soon as I get home and calm him down, he's fine the rest of the day.
At first we thought this is just an adjustment period and that LO just needs to get used to DH being the main caregiver, since when I'm home I take care of LO the majority of the time. Now, I'm starting to worry. It doesn't seem to be getting any better and I feel so bad for DH bc he's convinced that LO doesn't like him, or for LO bc he's obviously distressed when I'm gone. DH isn't the most patient person to begin with, and this is really worrying him. When he loses his patience he puts LO in a safe place and walks away to cool down, but he says he's yelled at him out of frustration, which he of course immediately regrets. By the time I get home, DH is just barely hanging on and LO is still screaming. We don't want DH to be in this position but daycare isn't an option for us and we don't have friends or relatives close by that could take LO for a day. Plus, I don't know if he only cries like this for DH or if he would be the same way for someone else.
This is really stressing me out and the thought of this going on for 30-40 hours a week while I'm at work makes me sick. I have to go back to work, otherwise I would absolutely stay home. Help please!!
BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11
BFP 7/6/11 Our Lucky Charm born 3/5/12
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Re: Help! LO screams while I'm at work : (
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Yes, walking the floor, up on our shoulders, which DH does as long as he can, but I should have included that the reason he's on disability is bc of his back and knees, so he can't be on his feet very long.
Driving in the car helps but I take our only car to work. I had thought about having DH drive me to work so that he could have the car to drive LO around, but he can't drive for hours at a time.
BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11
BFP 7/6/11 Our Lucky Charm born 3/5/12
Lurking...
I would suggest having your h take on all responsibility when you're home. You can still be present and run interference, but have your h change the diaper, feed lo, play, etc. You can then make suggestions that may help your h and baby may realize that dad is also a trusted caregiver.
your husband needs some support. your baby is still very young and being a stay-at-home parent is hard, especially if you feel like you're "failing" at it.
check your ob's office, pediatrician's office, local hospital and churches for new parent groups. sometimes children's stores will also sponsor these get-togethers. also check meetup for play groups and parent groups - you might even be able to find a daddy's group in your area!