new here

yeb32 · May 2012

My wife and I are new to the message board. She has difficulty getting on the forums because she gets too emotional about her infertility. I have been reading messages for some time but only now started posting . Please let me tell you our story.

We first went through infertility 5 yrs ago and after trying to get pregnant for almost 2 yrs without interventions we did 3 IUI cycles that failed followed by one successfull IVF . At that time we had insurance coverage. Fastforward to May 2011. THis time we wanted to go straight to IVF and don't have insurance coverage at all. We went to an RE nearby and he advised her to have surgery first because he found scar tissue on the saline sono test. He also saw something on the HSG.

The doctor recommended hysteroscopy and laparoscopy for endo but did say it might not nec solve the problem. My wife was very hesistant but we went ahead and did the procedure. HE found very bad endo and cleaned it up with laser. After a week my wife went to the ER with bladder spasms she described as "worse pain in my life". The bladder scan found a hole in her bladder and she needed emergency exploratory laparotomy to repair it. The recovery was over 2 months before we could do IVF again and now she has a nasty scar..

After another delay we finally did an IVF cycle in NOV 2011 and didn't even make it to a retrieval (failed to get any eggs). After another delay we did a second ivf cycle and this time got a positive beta. Unfortunately she lost the pregnancy at 7 weeks. TO make matters worse it took almost three months for the beta to go to zero so we can now do a 3rd cycle.. SHE is very depressed and upset about the infertility, miscarrige, and evertying that we are going through.

NOw we switched REs. The new RE is mostly against surgery but after he found something on the saline sono again we are told she needs another surgery before we can do the next cycle. She is schedule for surgery tommorow and we hope to do the IVF cycle right away. Its only to remove uterine scar tissue from the miscarrige and it won't delay cycle.... The RE is recommending we do PGD and ICSI as well (which basically doubles the OOP cost and our insurance covers nothing). Hopefully the new RE has a better lab and we will be successful this time. I can't even talk about the finances with my wife because she is so upset about the whole thing and I need to get her thinking more positive before the next cycle....

twaterford · May 2012

welcome! i'm pretty new here too, but have found everyone to be very supportive and sweet, which is helpful. i want to say how wonderful i think it is that you're so involved and looking for ways to gain support for your wife...so sweet. the fact that you're being supportive will help her. sometimes you just have to go through the emotions, and all of this can be VERY emotional (for husbands as well). we can all relate here! sometimes it's just nice to know that you're not the only one, even though you don't want ANYONE to go through this stuff. take comfort in the fact that there is a game plan and it's not the end of the road for you. i just take it a month at a time. i've found that my husband being so positive helps me, so stay as positive as possible.

best of luck with the surgery and hopefully this will be your month!

cmosley26 · May 2012

twaterford:
welcome! i'm pretty new here too, but have found everyone to be very supportive and sweet, which is helpful. i want to say how wonderful i think it is that you're so involved and looking for ways to gain support for your wife...so sweet. the fact that you're being supportive will help her. sometimes you just have to go through the emotions, and all of this can be VERY emotional (for husbands as well). we can all relate here! sometimes it's just nice to know that you're not the only one, even though you don't want ANYONE to go through this stuff. take comfort in the fact that there is a game plan and it's not the end of the road for you. i just take it a month at a time. i've found that my husband being so positive helps me, so stay as positive as possible. best of luck with the surgery and hopefully this will be your month!

Ditto this!! There are lots of supportive and knowledgeable ladies here!! I saw a siggy that said something like...If in the end it never happens, then i'll know it's not the end....(thats not the exact words but close) I keep thinking of that!! I think it really helps keep me going and staying positive! Good luck to you and your dear wife...God will provide you with the desires of your heart We just never know when! Trust him!