How long do I keep trying to bf

JaymeMane · May 2012

My son is now a week past his due date and I am still trying to get him to bf. the LC at the hospital said that once he hit his due date it would get easier but it hasn't. I bf for 30 min every feed and then offer the bottle. He always takes the bottle of 3.5 to 4 oz. my question is how long do I keep trying to get him to bf. When is the point that I need to come to grips with the idea of EP. I really want this breastfeeding!

kelkel09 · May 2012

it's really a personal decision you have to make. When my twins were born, I was pumping round the clock but never got in a major supply. At first they were eating very little so I made enough for them, but over time they had to supplement with formula. It got to the point where they were mostly getting formula with a tiny bit of breastmilk bc my supply was dwindling and I couldn't keep up with them. I kept going because I was determined to give them breastmilk, but after 2.5 months the stress of pumping unsuccessfully got to me and I finally gave up. You just have to decide how long you want to keep trying. Best of luck!

urbanflowerpot · May 2012

This is a really tough question - how long was LO in NICU? is he getting milk? If he's home, then you're going to need to drop the bottle feeds to go to EBF. LO will always suck down a bottle if offered and your body will be making massive amounts of milk. It took me four months to get him to EBF but I had the supply and he wanted to - he was just nipple confused. I'll try to help you when I get more information but it's going to come down to patience.

iristony · May 2012

I agree- keep trying as long as you want. I gave up a few days before son came home and made the decision to keep pumping and pumped til he was 9 mo old. While pumping is stressful, I thought trying to BF was so much more stressful for me. I have no regrets! You need to do what is best for you!

JaymeMane · May 2012

urbanflowerpot:
This is a really tough question - how long was LO in NICU? is he getting milk? If he's home, then you're going to need to drop the bottle feeds to go to EBF. LO will always suck down a bottle if offered and your body will be making massive amounts of milk. It took me four months to get him to EBF but I had the supply and he wanted to - he was just nipple confused. I'll try to help you when I get more information but it's going to come down to patience.

He was in the NICU for 15 days. The LC at the hospital put us on a plan for home to hopefully get to EBF. She said to do limited bf of 30 min and then offer a bottle (and have me pump). She said once he takes an ounce or less from the bottle, then we can only offer the bottle every other feed (and pump every other feed). We have been home from the hospital for about 5 weeks and we haven't got to the stage where he takes an ounce or less. I kept thinking maybe when we hit that due date we would get to this stage. But he is now over a week past his due date. He does stay on for 30 min and sometimes I get really excited because he seems like he's doing really well and I feel like I hear swallowing, but then he finishes his whole bottle and doesn't really have any spitting up. I have tried to not offer the bottle, but he cries and shows hunger cues. Also his bottles are all fortified breast milk.

urbanflowerpot · May 2012

JaymeMane:
urbanflowerpot:
This is a really tough question - how long was LO in NICU? is he getting milk? If he's home, then you're going to need to drop the bottle feeds to go to EBF. LO will always suck down a bottle if offered and your body will be making massive amounts of milk. It took me four months to get him to EBF but I had the supply and he wanted to - he was just nipple confused. I'll try to help you when I get more information but it's going to come down to patience.

He was in the NICU for 15 days. The LC at the hospital put us on a plan for home to hopefully get to EBF. She said to do limited bf of 30 min and then offer a bottle (and have me pump). She said once he takes an ounce or less from the bottle, then we can only offer the bottle every other feed (and pump every other feed). We have been home from the hospital for about 5 weeks and we haven't got to the stage where he takes an ounce or less. I kept thinking maybe when we hit that due date we would get to this stage. But he is now over a week past his due date. He does stay on for 30 min and sometimes I get really excited because he seems like he's doing really well and I feel like I hear swallowing, but then he finishes his whole bottle and doesn't really have any spitting up. I have tried to not offer the bottle, but he cries and shows hunger cues. Also his bottles are all fortified breast milk.

I'd make another appointment with a different LC at this point. DS was on fortified BM, too, but we ditched that when he switched. I was so scared to just go for it, but I did. It took me all day and all night of BF'ing nonstop for three weeks. We were a pretty extreme case as far as confusion goes but the quicker you catch it, the quicker you can get on with it. I saw a fleet of LCs during our two months in two NICUs - it wasn't until I saw this particular specialist that we got on track. I don't know what your situation is like - or if you have the time to do all that - but I got very cozy with Netflix and just saw it as time with my preemie that I'd never get again. I don't regret it at all and it was the hardest thing I've ever done (physically). There are a lot of moms who choose to quit and do FF or EP and they're equally happy. I'm here if you have any questions. Remember that he's still super NB so he's just a little guy trying really hard. That's half the battle, really. Here is a link to our story: https://preemiemomblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/nipple-confusion-and-how-i-transitioned.html

There is another story on the blog about a mother's decision to quit pumping that is excellent.

rednelson · May 2012

It took a good month after my son got home to make the transition (he was in the NICU 55 days). What worked for us was choosing a lock of time to bf only (I started with 8-12 in the morning, he came home just shy of 38 wks ga). During that chunk of time I would bf as often as he wanted. The rest of the day I would pump and bottle feed to give him a rest. Gradually I increased the chunk of time. The bf/giving a bottle after never worked since he always sucked it down and I thought he wasnt getting any milk at all. Also, I found a good bf support group and would do pre and post bf weights which helped ease my anxiety about the amount he was taking in. If it's something you really, really want, I say keep working at it, it will come. Good luck!

jteneback · May 2012

DD was SO sleepy when we brought her home that she didn't nurse for weeks. We kept trying, and eventually she was able to latch with a nipple shield. Once I knew she could suck, I said "OK, baby, you have three days to show me you can meet your needs by nursing." And I watched her like a hawk for dehydration. She did fine with more frequent smaller feeds and we stopped bottle feeding for good.

I think it is so easy to get sucked into the measuring and watching of bottle feeding we don't trust our bodies or our babies to figure it out. And with preemies we are of course extra nervous that they are getting what they need.

SushiNoMore · May 2012

rednelson:
It took a good month after my son got home to make the transition (he was in the NICU 55 days). What worked for us was choosing a lock of time to bf only (I started with 8-12 in the morning, he came home just shy of 38 wks ga). During that chunk of time I would bf as often as he wanted. The rest of the day I would pump and bottle feed to give him a rest. Gradually I increased the chunk of time. The bf/giving a bottle after never worked since he always sucked it down and I thought he wasnt getting any milk at all. Also, I found a good bf support group and would do pre and post bf weights which helped ease my anxiety about the amount he was taking in. If it's something you really, really want, I say keep working at it, it will come. Good luck!

This is pretty much what we did. I'd give a bottle at, say 9a, and then, instead of his 12p bottle, I'd nurse him whenever he wanted until his 3p bottle. And I gradually swapped bottles for nursing until he was done with bottles.

I also used a nipple shield for awhile so he could learn how to suck. And I used a Medela Special Needs Feeder (the XS one) instead of a bottle so he would learn that he needed to suck to get milk (rather than a regular bottle that will always let milk flow).

I agree with Urban that you might want to find a new LC. I don't agree with the idea that you can't drop a bottle until he takes an once or less.

JaymeMane · May 2012

SushiNoMore:
rednelson:
It took a good month after my son got home to make the transition (he was in the NICU 55 days). What worked for us was choosing a lock of time to bf only (I started with 8-12 in the morning, he came home just shy of 38 wks ga). During that chunk of time I would bf as often as he wanted. The rest of the day I would pump and bottle feed to give him a rest. Gradually I increased the chunk of time. The bf/giving a bottle after never worked since he always sucked it down and I thought he wasnt getting any milk at all. Also, I found a good bf support group and would do pre and post bf weights which helped ease my anxiety about the amount he was taking in. If it's something you really, really want, I say keep working at it, it will come. Good luck!
This is pretty much what we did. I'd give a bottle at, say 9a, and then, instead of his 12p bottle, I'd nurse him whenever he wanted until his 3p bottle. And I gradually swapped bottles for nursing until he was done with bottles.
I also used a nipple shield for awhile so he could learn how to suck. And I used a Medela Special Needs Feeder (the XS one) instead of a bottle so he would learn that he needed to suck to get milk (rather than a regular bottle that will always let milk flow).
I agree with Urban that you might want to find a new LC. I don't agree with the idea that you can't drop a bottle until he takes an once or less.

Question to both of you,

I really like your idea and am going to give it a try. Did you offer the breast outside your "window" or just the bottle then?

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. I really appreciate the support.

rednelson · May 2012

I did not offer the breast other than during the alotted time. The rest of the time was for him to rest, and not expend too many calories feeding. Then, I gradually increased the blocks of time that we breastfed. Before I completely commited I met with a lactation consultant to do a weight check, then exclusively breastfed (minus the two bottle of high calorie formula) for two days. Then I met with the lactation consultant again to re-check weight. He gained exactly two ounces in the two days. Knowing that, it finally gave me the confidence that he could exclusively breastfeed and continue to gain weight appropriately. We've been BFing ever since.

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