Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So ANGRY Today

I don't know how long the anger part of this lasts...in some ways it's harder to take than the depression was.  I'm usually a very patient person but lately I don't even have a fuse. 

 I'm just so pissed at the entire world today.  I'm pissed that idiotic women who mistreat their kids can seemingly get KU again and again but MY baby that was so desperately wanted died.  I'm angry that I never even got to tell anyone other than our parents that we were expecting and so continually endure the "so when are you having another one?" teasing from ppl who in all fairness can't be expected to know any better since they don't know I lost one.   I'm so angry that I periodically find that my fists are actually clenched and I want to throw and smash things.  I'm angry that my hopes and plans for so many things, even for how far apart we wanted our children spaced, were ruined by this.  Mostly I'm angry because I feel like my grief and anger are making me a lousy mom to DD who is too young to understand and who occasionally gets snapped at just because she's being a toddler and I'm in a lousy mood.

 Sorry to vent so much today!  It's been a rough one so far but it helps so much to be able to post here and know that you ladies actually understand what I'm feeling and that I'm not alone or going crazy.

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Re: So ANGRY Today

  • I'm so sorry. I don't know your history but I understand where you're coming from. You're not going crazy! Seems like our LOs are about the same age...it is TOUGH under the best of circumstances (my DD had an hour long tantrum today because I cut her toast...apparently she wanted it whole).

    Hang in there!

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  • i feel exactly the same way you do.  exactly.  my dd is one year 3 months and i feel guilty for thinking that my children (god willing) won't be close in age.  then i think that that stuff doesn't matter and it's not something that i should care about.  i also pissed at the ads with prego women are all over this website.  i cant click fast enough to make them go away.  i'm just so tired of beimg bitter and anggry about everything.
    BFP #1~12/20/08, EDD~8/17/09, natural MC~12/23/08;
    BFP #2~5/25/09, DD born 1/27/10
    image
    BFP #3~2/13/12, EDD~10/24/12, MC at 12w6d, D&C - We love you baby Addison
  • Vent away!

    I bounced back to sadness today apparently, but tomorrow will likely return to anger. F-n psychotic rollercoaster.... 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ~Michelle~
    TTC for 2 years w/ PCOS - Ectopic in April 2012 at 7 weeks; MTX x2
    Check out my blog: Married In A Zoo
    & follow me on Twitter

  • Vent away and I don't think you are going crazy. I feel the same anger you do about being a better mom to DS. The grief has definitely taken over and I have had moments where I have been snappy with him and he doesn't deserve that at all.  Take one day at a time which is what I am trying to do as well. Hang in there and I hope that tomorrow is a better day.
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