The decision for another baby?

luvmygirls22 · May 2012

How did you come to a decisoin about wether or not to have another child? What was the main deciding factor for you? (either for it or against it)

PS) I know I have been posting quite a bit about family expansion but it weighs heavily on my mind right now so I thank you all for being patient and responding kindly.

snowflakemom · May 2012

I would have been ok with stopping at 2, but DH 100% wanted to have another one (he still wants to have one more). I thought about it for a long time and finally decided that I needed to make a decision because I didn't want a big age gap between #2 & #3. I know people say this all the time, but I really didn't feel like our family was quite complete. I could totally picture us having 3, even though I knew it would be challenging. We were/are financially in a place to have more kids so that was helpful in our decision. And when I thought about never being pregnant again, never experiencing the newborn stage, and watching that baby grow it made me want another. I still feel somewhat sad that I will probably not go through another pregnancy but I feel much more at peace with it now than after #2. FWIW, having DS was the most difficult of the three (I had c-sections with all of them) but he has been the best baby and such a blessing to our family. He fits right in and is so loved.

LoCarb · May 2012

For us, it was the idea of DD1 having a larger family.

We have no family nearby-closest is 2k miles away. DD will never develop a close relationship w/ any g-parents or cousins. Both my H and I have siblings and we wanted her to grow up knowing other family besides parents. My kids are 2 yr apart and that was mostly decided on our age and how much energy we have. Having a sibling does not guarantee they will be close. My fingers are crossed they will best of friends. My mom says this is a really selfish reason.

We're two and through. I had a big scare w/ my last pg and never want to go through that again. Also I'm getting older and no longer have the energy.

jlw2505 · May 2012

DH and I both always knew we wanted 2 kids - not sure why, I am the youngest of 4 and DH is the oldest of 3. We knew we could afford 2 kids and still have the lifestyle we wanted - stay in our current house, etc. Money is not the bottom line and if we had wanted more kids, we would have made changes to our lifestyle. I never cared if we had boys or girls, only wanted healthy kids so I always laughed when people asked if we would try for #3 after our 2nd DD was born.

What was different for us was the how we would get 2 kids. It took us about 7 months to get our 1st BFP and I had an amazing pregnancy which was followed by a horrible labor (think 24 hours of back labor and a ton of complications). When DD#1 was delivered there were about 30 medical professionals in the room to take care of us. I had high blood pressure and a fever so the level 2 nurses were there ready to take DD to the Level 2 nursery for observation as per the procedure at my hospital. We got very lucky and one of those nurses used to work at a NICU and noticed during labor that my child was having hiccups which is a sign of a brain issues during labor (otherwise hiccups are very normal but not in the birth canal). DD ended up in the NICU with a brain injury/seizures. She is basically fine today but it took me a good 6 months to even think about going through all of that again and we seriously talked about adopting #2 rather than taking a chance of anything happening again. I ended up switching OB's and was treated as high risk the 2nd time around and a planned c-section to avoid the labor. I was on bed rest at the end and the second pregnancy was very hard but in the end - so worth it and I knew when I held DD#2 that my family was complete.

2Gma · May 2012

It took me 2 years to come to this conculsion but we're done. I always wanted 3 kids but after having DD1 be a difficult baby ("colic") and still not sleeping great at 5 years old, we're tired. I am exhausted almost every evening and don't think I could manage another baby while raising 2 other kids.

Tigger & pooh · May 2012

It certainly wasn't an easy decision but after almost 3 yrs of that "not complete yet feeling" we decided to go for it. My Dh is a little more apprehensive, but I know I would always regret not having a third.

shouldbworkin · May 2012

We always came back to the same thing - what our life would be like when we're older. We know it will be crazy now, but all of these phases are temporary. When we're old, we want to have a good shot at being surrounded by our kids and grandkids. And, we just didn't feel done. Even when we said we were done, we were ok if we weren't done.

aglenn · May 2012

I totally agree with Jodi as well. I do get a little sentimental looking at DS and knowing that he's the last baby (and all the little lasts that come along with that), but whether the last was #2 or #5 I would expect to still feel that. Two kids are enough for us; it's what will work best financially, emotionally, etc., etc., etc. But yeah, I'll still miss my little cuddly babies. I think that's normal.

laurakaz13 · May 2012

I'm having a really hard time with this too. DD from 3 months on was a very easy baby though, and we just adore her. She's amazing.

But I had a horrible pregnancy and didn't enjoy the newborn stage at all. I also have a rewarding career that I love and I don't know that I could handle another one.

I do think of DD though and would like for her to have a sibling. I just don't know what to do, b/c I'm not sure I would be happy and my own happiness is top priority as well.

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