TTC After a Loss

So ashamed and angry..

NC just passed the Constitutional amendment defining marriage between one man and one woman as the only legal domestic union to be recognized in the state... this isn't only going to affect homosexuals but also widows/widowers and single parents, etc... I can say that this is the first time I've ever been ashamed to be a North Carolinian.. Sad I just don't understand what it matters who you love to the government.. why cant they just let people be happy.. ugh

eta: I don't want to start a political debate.. I am just disappointed in my state...

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Re: So ashamed and angry..

  • I can understand your disappointment. Dislike.
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  • I am so sorry that you feel so ashamed.  I imagine Kentucky will soon follow.  I got into this discussion once with my family and it did not end well (I am of the mind that love is love between consenting adults, who am I to stop you?).

    Love to you! (You can also come to KY)

     

    (PS: When I saw NC I thought 'Nightly Confessions' and was so confused for  amoment.)

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  • imageraashton:

    I am so sorry that you feel so ashamed.  I imagine Kentucky will soon follow.  I got into this discussion once with my family and it did not end well (I am of the mind that love is love between consenting adults, who am I to stop you?).

    Love to you! (You can also come to KY)

     

    (PS: When I saw NC I thought 'Nightly Confessions' and was so confused for  amoment.)

    Everyone keeps bringing in the bible.. and while I am a follower of God and I try to live my life as the bible says I should I also realize it was written 3000 years ago and not everything in there is relatable to this day and age.

    On that note. I don't believe God would put love in your heart for someone else.. regardless of their race, sex, religious beliefs, if he didn't want that person in your life. Meaning.. he wouldn't put a man together with another man if that was not his purpose..

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  • I just recently moved from NC, and I am also upset by the vote. Come on, people. It's 2012. 

  • Not trying to start a debate, I'm just wondering how it affects widows/widowers & single parents?
    "For I know the plans I have for you,
  • imageActingdiva09:
    Not trying to start a debate, I'm just wondering how it affects widows/widowers & single parents?
    I was going to ask the same thing
  • imageActingdiva09:
    Not trying to start a debate, I'm just wondering how it affects widows/widowers & single parents?
    basically civil unions and common law marriages don't count anymore as benefits are concerned, so if you married your spouse in a civil union and they die, you can't get their social security or whatnot. Also there is an underwriter that I was reading up on just now that a person can't call in on a domestic dispute and press charges if they are not "married" to the person since they no longer recognize couples that live that way.. Total BS
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  • imageAngnShaun:
    imageActingdiva09:
    Not trying to start a debate, I'm just wondering how it affects widows/widowers & single parents?
    I was going to ask the same thing

    I got this from a UNC Law website on the issue:

    it is very possible, however, that courts would interpret the Amendment to bar the state from giving any protections to unmarried couples ? straight or same-sex ? based on their relationships. This would: 

    ? invalidate domestic violence protections for all unmarried partners; 

    ? undercut existing child custody and visitation law that is designed to protect the best interests of children; 

    ? prevent the state from giving committed couples protections that help them order their relationships, including the right to 

    o determine the disposition of their deceased partner?s remains

    o visit their partner in the hospital in the event of a medical emergency; 

    o to make emergency medical decisions for their partner if their partner is incapacitated; and 

    o to make financial decisions for their partner if their partner is incapacitated. 


    Furthermore, if courts interpreted it in a far-reaching manner, the Amendment could even: 

    ? invalidate trusts, wills, and end-of-life directives by one partner in favor of the other 

     
    Basically, under the amendment, any unmarried couple (gay or straight) is no longer protected by civil union rights.

  • DCWJesDCWJes member

    Ugh, I'm sorry. 

    Confession: I just read it as "nightly confessions just passed.." rather than north Carolina. I had to reread the beginning, lol. 

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  • images.alarie:

    imageAngnShaun:
    imageActingdiva09:
    Not trying to start a debate, I'm just wondering how it affects widows/widowers & single parents?
    I was going to ask the same thing

    I got this from a UNC Law website on the issue:

    it is very possible, however, that courts would interpret the Amendment to bar the state from giving any protections to unmarried couples ? straight or same-sex ? based on their relationships. This would: 

    ? invalidate domestic violence protections for all unmarried partners; 

    ? undercut existing child custody and visitation law that is designed to protect the best interests of children; 

    ? prevent the state from giving committed couples protections that help them order their relationships, including the right to 

    o determine the disposition of their deceased partner?s remains

    o visit their partner in the hospital in the event of a medical emergency; 

    o to make emergency medical decisions for their partner if their partner is incapacitated; and 

    o to make financial decisions for their partner if their partner is incapacitated. 


    Furthermore, if courts interpreted it in a far-reaching manner, the Amendment could even: 

    ? invalidate trusts, wills, and end-of-life directives by one partner in favor of the other 

     
    Basically, under the amendment, any unmarried couple (gay or straight) is no longer protected by civil union rights.

    thank you I was looking for that and couldn't find it.
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  • No matter what your beliefs are, it is always hard when you are forced to abide by a law that states the exact opposite.  I am sorry.  I have definitely felt this way about laws before (ashamed and angry I mean), and it's demoralizing.
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  • That's sad.  I 100% agree with you VQ.

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  • Come live in Toronto!

    We don't allow this kind of crap laws to be passed here. 

    Love between two consenting adults should be condoned, not fought against.

    I believe that we have some issues that are slightly more pressing then voting on people's right to love and marry someone.. 

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  • WOW!!  This law is CRAZINESS!  I'm into politics, as my dad is a State Rep.  He would be going crazy over this law. 
    His political party made national news when they walked out of the state house and were actually living in Illinois 2 years ago for 6 weeks to protect teachers and education in Indiana. 
    I am also of the same mind as you VQ, love is love between 2 consenting adults.  I would have to think this law will have some serious appeals made if it takes away basic civil rights for some residents-that should be unconstitutional somehow?!
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  • imageVikingQueen:

    I just don't understand what it matters who you love to the government.. why cant they just let people be happy.. ugh

    I completely agree with this. There are SOOOOO many other issues and we waste so much time arguing about who people are aloud to LOVE! Like the world is going to be such a horrible place if more people are committing themselves to love another person.

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  • ChloBubChloBub member
    imageVeganlady:
    imageVikingQueen:
    imageraashton:

    I am so sorry that you feel so ashamed.  I imagine Kentucky will soon follow.  I got into this discussion once with my family and it did not end well (I am of the mind that love is love between consenting adults, who am I to stop you?).

    Love to you! (You can also come to KY)

     

    (PS: When I saw NC I thought 'Nightly Confessions' and was so confused for  amoment.)

    Everyone keeps bringing in the bible.. and while I am a follower of God and I try to live my life as the bible says I should I also realize it was written 3000 years ago and not everything in there is relatable to this day and age.

    On that note. I don't believe God would put love in your heart for someone else.. regardless of their race, sex, religious beliefs, if he didn't want that person in your life. Meaning.. he wouldn't put a man together with another man if that was not his purpose..

    Even if everything in the Bible is to be followed to the letter, the Bible isn't the founding document of this country, the Constitution is. I say, civil marriage for everyone according to equal protection under the law. Then churches can decide which civil marriages they choose to sanctify according to freedom of religion. 

    The thing that really cheeses me off about the whole thing is that the people restricting rights of gays to marry or women to make reproductive choices claim to be the party of "small government." They completely fail to see the hypocrisy, and apparently, so do their voters. 

    I hope this quotes on my phone, but exactly this.
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  • I've been following this story.  It makes me sad and angry too.  People are people are people are people.  Government doesn't decide what makes a family.  
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