Does your NICU give you advance notice?

pinotgirl · May 2012

I was about an hour later than normal when I went to visit my son this morning in the NICU. When I got in, the nurse told me "you just missed it"... missed what??? Turns out I missed his first actual feeding! No one told me this was being done today... and I'm sad I missed it! I was able to do his second one tonight so it's not the end of the world, but it would have been nice had she called me as I would have made every effort to be there for this milestone!

Does your NICU let you know these kinds of things ahead of time so you can plan accordingly?

Cara03 · May 2012

I would be sad at missing the first feeding, too. Total bummer that they didn't call you. Our NICU never really called about those types of things, but I was there a lot and it almost seemed like the nurses would plan it for when I was normally there because I don't recall missing anything. My husband missed a lot, but he was working and I wasn't.

YEY on your LO getting to eat!!

urbanflowerpot · May 2012

I'm sorry - what a bummer! I hated hearing I just missed something. No, they won't stop their tight schedule to call and alert for things like that. It's a big deal to us, but they have a lot going on and schedules to keep. Usually your nurse is paired with a higher-needs preemie which is something to keep in mind. Sometimes they'd give me a heads up if something big was a 'maybe' for the next day. They also put it in my notes that if possible I'd like to be there for ____ whatever it was.

Congrats on the feed, though!

punky917 · May 2012

Sorry you missed your baby's first feeding. I would be totally upset too if that happened. Our primary nurse definitely kept us in the loop for everything and that was one of them. She made sure that I was the one who did it with the OT there to watch for how he was doing.

Maybe just voice your concern to the primary nurse that you would like to be told of those things ahead of time. Hopefully, they will understand your feelings about it. Yay to your LO's new milestone!

DoingItRight · May 2012

Ours did not call for things like that. If I was there during the rounds they might mention that they are thinking about moving one way or another.

kaylaaimee · May 2012

Oh wow- my NICU gave me advance notice for all of those sorts of things. Ours was a smaller, more intimate setting than a lot of the big hospitals though. Still, IMO there is no reason that they can't tell the parents that the baby is ready for a first feeding in advance.

I missed Scarlette's first bath- and second and third and fourth- they were bathing her after my DH and I had left for the night. If someone had TOLD us she was being bathed we would have wanted to be there for that but at that point I didn't know they were doing anything more than the basic cares still. So after that I told them that I wanted to be there for EVERYTHING I could be and to please let me know before any milestone moments, like the first feed. I think it's a reasonable request - if you know the parents come to visit every day, I don't see any reason why you can't schedule a feed during their time there.

I'm sorry you missed your son's first feed, I would have been really upset as well, but congratulations on him hitting that milestone!

jacque_z · May 2012

I would say yes and no. They called us for big things like when she was going to be reintubated but things like first feeding/first bath no they didn't call. I requested to be notified of certain things after I learned I could. That helped.

damabo80 · May 2012

I got a call from the Dr each day with an update, but that was for medical stuff, not surface stuff (like feeding, baths, clothes).

Ask the nurse when you get there that if possible you'd like to know when they'll attempt the surface stuff, and times/days.

For bathing, usually the night shift took that, so if we wanted to be a part of it (in the early days), we were told to be there at 10p

iristony · May 2012

Not for that kind of stuff. But I was so happy to hear he had a feeding and did not care that I missed the first one. I made a decision that any of his firsts were not firsts until I witnessed them- ha ha, I would have been up et if they told me my son was ready for a feeding last night but they decided to wait for me. I did not want them holding him back for my sake. IMO the sooner they do those thingd, the quicker they will come home.

kelkel09 · May 2012

we didn't really get calls for stuff like that...it stinks that you have to miss out on stuff like that.

DrRx · May 2012

First off: Congrats on your LO taking their first bottle!!! Such a great milestone!

We didn't get called for stuff like that, but we were pretty involved with Adalyn's plan for the day everyday. I would talk to both her nurse and MD every morning, whether via phone or in person.

The only milestone that we missed was her first bath. When I asked about it, they told me that she had been getting baths for a week or so already, and no one bothered to tell me. I told them that I wanted to give her her next bath, and any other baths that were possible. For her first feeding, we kept asking the MD when she would be able to try it, and one day she said that she felt that Adalyn was finally ready for it.

pinotgirl · May 2012

Thanks for the congrats! I was so excited he was ready for a bottle... no one really understands that milestone other than fellow NICU parents!

I did mention to that nurse she should have notified me. So we'll see if that happens again. They are scheduling his bottle feeds around me (I did it this morning and DH will do it tonight for the first time)... DS is only up to 2 per day, but he's doing well!

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