Angel Mamas! How are you doing?

foxxy1 · May 2012

How is everyone doing? How was your weekend? Let's have some tea and cookies (sorry, it's too early for alcohol) and just chat...

I'm doing better. Yesterday I had to formally "divorce" another friend. I left the door open for us to reconnect sometime in the future but I just don't think it's in both of our best interests to be friends right now. I feel like I lifted a ton off my heart.

AF arrived (boo!) but there's a plus side: my LP is back to 13 days so that makes me very happy (for a while it was 7-11 days) so it means my body is finally back to normal.

And I sent my Angel Mama her gift! She might get her gift first then her card later. I can't wait until she gets it!!!

How is everyone else doing? Share the good, bad, ugly, sexy, whatev...

karebear57 · May 2012

Well it's my stupid bday today. I was supposed to have my lil girl here with me and put all my baby making days behind me since my boys are getting old. Now I have to wait til the fall to try again. I really dislike this birthday. I can't wait for all the boys to get home, I'm lonely.

But on the plus side I'm gonna send my cards out and they should be at their destinations on TIME! (I'm always a bit late, procrastination)

foxxy1 · May 2012

I know it's a bittersweet birthday for you but I do hope you smile at least once today. We got your back here. *HUGS*

jbranden12 · May 2012

Hi ladies! I'm having a difficult day. I mentioned in lrichmond's post that I thought I was getting AF yesterday, but it seems that I wasn't. It really crushed me. I hoped it was the start of my first cycle after losing Patricia. I've been focusing on getting ready to ttc again. It was helping me to deal with the pain, because it reminds me that even though we will never get her back, our dream of parenthood is still alive. This dream and my husband are the only things that make me get out of bed every morning.

But now I'm afraid. If I'm this upset about not getting my period, how will I handle a BFN or, worse, a miscarriage? I feel so out of control. I'm afraid we'll have problems ttc, because I have pcos and never had regular cycles. I know in the grand scheme of things, a few extra months aren't a big deal. But we are ready NOW. We are supposed to be bringing home a healthy baby girl this month.

careyalis · May 2012

Crystal: Good for you for "divorcing" your friend. Sometimes you just have to let people go. AND It's 5:00 somewhere--never too early for a cocktail! My favorite at the moment is cucumber vodka, diet sprite, and a splash of sour...worth trying!!!

Good: I ended up having a blast at Derby and I am so glad that I went! I bought a groupon for tennis lessons and they start tonight. I am super excited to learn how to play! I also got some sweet cards and gifts from my angel exchange/ angel swap ladies and they totally made my day

Bad: I cried a lot yesterday. Pregnant women and babies usually don't bother me, but there is one lady (who I actually really like!) who gets me every time. She is much older and already has 3 older kids. This baby was totally a surprise and I'm sooooo jealous that she got to keep a child that she didn't even want. She is a great mother yadda yadda, but for some reason I can't stand to be around her when others don't bother me at all. I had to leave church early because I started crying when I saw her walking back from communion.

Ugly: I was already a little bit weepy when I realized that I forgot to order my bridesmaids dress for a friends wedding. When I called to order it, they told me that it was past the rush delivery point and there is nothing that they could do. I was HYSTERICAL! I finally found the dress on some random website that claims to get it to you in 3 weeks so I spent a crap load extra to super rush it and I don't even know if it will fit!!

Sexy: AF finally left and it has been Sexfest 2012 in my household. I'm not complaining

tuscanbride2007 · May 2012

Hello ladies!

Happy birthday karebear! Jbraden, I am going through similar thoughts except I got my AF and now I am scared about when the right time to TTC is. DH and I talked about it and we want to try again, but I have similar fears about miscarriage.

On another note, I am attempting my first day at the office tomorrow and I am scared! I work with wonderful people, but I am afraid about how everyone is going to treat me and if I can make it through the day without a breakdown! My boss told me to leave if need be, but it's still scary.

foxxy1 · May 2012

jbranden12:

Hi ladies! I'm having a difficult day. I mentioned in lrichmond's post that I thought I was getting AF yesterday, but it seems that I wasn't. It really crushed me. I hoped it was the start of my first cycle after losing Patricia. I've been focusing on getting ready to ttc again. It was helping me to deal with the pain, because it reminds me that even though we will never get her back, our dream of parenthood is still alive. This dream and my husband are the only things that make me get out of bed every morning.

But now I'm afraid. If I'm this upset about not getting my period, how will I handle a BFN or, worse, a miscarriage? I feel so out of control. I'm afraid we'll have problems ttc, because I have pcos and never had regular cycles. I know in the grand scheme of things, a few extra months aren't a big deal. But we are ready NOW. We are supposed to be bringing home a healthy baby girl this month.

*HUGS* Unfortunately, we all know too well the emotions of TTCALL. My only advice is to just go for it when AF arrives. You may get pregnant the first cycle, or it might be awhile. You may have a m/c or you may have a rainbow right off the bat. You never know until you try. When the desire to complete your family outweighs your fear, it's when you know you're ready again.

When is your EDD? I want to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. The days leading up to it are the worst mind f**ks (pardon my language).

foxxy1 · May 2012

careyalis:

Crystal: Good for you for "divorcing" your friend. Sometimes you just have to let people go. AND It's 5:00 somewhere--never too early for a cocktail! My favorite at the moment is cucumber vodka, diet sprite, and a splash of sour...worth trying!!!

Good: I ended up having a blast at Derby and I am so glad that I went! I bought a groupon for tennis lessons and they start tonight. I am super excited to learn how to play! I also got some sweet cards and gifts from my angel exchange/ angel swap ladies and they totally made my day

Bad: I cried a lot yesterday. Pregnant women and babies usually don't bother me, but there is one lady (who I actually really like!) who gets me every time. She is much older and already has 3 older kids. This baby was totally a surprise and I'm sooooo jealous that she got to keep a child that she didn't even want. She is a great mother yadda yadda, but for some reason I can't stand to be around her when others don't bother me at all. I had to leave church early because I started crying when I saw her walking back from communion.

Ugly: I was already a little bit weepy when I realized that I forgot to order my bridesmaids dress for a friends wedding. When I called to order it, they told me that it was past the rush delivery point and there is nothing that they could do. I was HYSTERICAL! I finally found the dress on some random website that claims to get it to you in 3 weeks so I spent a crap load extra to super rush it and I don't even know if it will fit!!

Sexy: AF finally left and it has been Sexfest 2012 in my household. I'm not complaining

Carey! Good for you on the tennis lessons! Watch out, Venus and Serena!

I'm so sorry about your emotional day yesterday. Sometimes it just sneaks up on you like that. I know I can be completely fine around one friend who has a baby but I can't be around others who are expecting. So hard. This is part of the grieving process that no one prepares you for.

About your dress, is there a seamstress nearby that could help? Sometimes they do rush orders as well.

And I'm so jealous of your Sexfest!! Rawr! I can't wait until AF leaves so I can get it on!

foxxy1 · May 2012

tuscanbride2007:

Hello ladies!

Happy birthday karebear! Jbraden, I am going through similar thoughts except I got my AF and now I am scared about when the right time to TTC is. DH and I talked about it and we want to try again, but I have similar fears about miscarriage.

On another note, I am attempting my first day at the office tomorrow and I am scared! I work with wonderful people, but I am afraid about how everyone is going to treat me and if I can make it through the day without a breakdown! My boss told me to leave if need be, but it's still scary.

tuscanbride, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Just remember: take the time you need and find a safe place in the office you can go whenever you need to be alone or just cry it out. If you have a friend you can trust there, talk to them.

Heatherhah · May 2012

****ticker warning**** Sorry!!

I'm doing okay sad a lot of the time since Sydney has been gone 7 months. Plus my sister in law's baby shower is the end of the month and I decided I will not be attending I just can't go and sit through that and watch her open presents for a little girl. Plus since they decided to get pregnant right at the hospital while we waited to have Sydney be born sleeping. Sucks!!

I am pregnant which I was worried about sharing here since there are so many new members. I didn't want to hurt anyone. But man this is not an easy time for a mom who lost her baby late in pregnancy it plays tricks on your mind for sure.

I wish all of you lovely ladies who are TTC all hr luck in the world. It is a hard road!

I am going to send out my angel cards ASAP. I hope I'm not to late but I am doign it tomorrow.

Huge hugs ladies.

Heather

jbranden12 · May 2012

foxxy: Thank you for the support. We want so badly to have a family and it's nice to not feel crazy for wanting to jump right in. My due date was May 30th. It's also my brother's birthday, which we were excited about at first but will be difficult now .

Tuscan: Good luck on your first day back! I'm glad your boss is understanding. My only advice is to remember that this is (hopefully) new territory for everyone at your office so try not to let yourself be hurt by their reactions. If someone says something stupid, tell us about it and we'll commiserate!

Heather: I only speak for myself, but I am not hurt by you sharing pregnancy news. All of you PAL ladies give me hope and I am wishing the best for you and your rainbows.

jbranden12 · May 2012

Oh! And karebear, happy birthday. I am sorry it's a difficult one. This one will be tough for me too. I remember the night we told my best friend and her husband about Patricia's arrival, we were talking at dinner and I was trying to figure out how to tell them in a cute way when somehow the topic came up of how old our moms were when they had their first children (weird, I know). I said "I'll be 25." It took my friend a minute to understand, and then she freaked out! I'll turn 26 in July and Patricia won't be here. ((hugs))

blessedhope · May 2012

Hi everybody.

I'm sorry about your friend foxxy. There are a few people in my life too that I haven't even been able to communicate with since my loss and it sure is sad. I'm glad you feel that weight is lifted. There is one person I texted simply, "you were very hurtful in the things you said to me after my loss and I really don't want to talk right now." I felt the same way you do-relieved!

I'm having a hard time with my baby's one year birthday/loss coming up in ten days. I have a few special things planned that i want to do in memory of him but really I am afraid of what the day will bring and feel unprepared.

That stinks about AF although thats good about your cycles finally getting back to normal. I am in the 2ww right now and for some reason not feeling very hopeful. I guess I am just tired of getting my hopes up.

((hugs)) to everyone

lrichmond86 · May 2012

Foxxy... I missed seeing you around here! Hope all's well for you

Now... let's see... the good is that I'm counting down the days to the last day of school. This year can't end soon enough. I have the class from hell, some parents that are worse and to top it all off they often comment on our baby. 25 days and counting until the last day of school (which also happens to be our 1 year anniversary). We're also supposed to close on our new house Friday, so that will be a nice change.

The bad is that I'm incredibly frustrated with my OB's office. We had to wait 2 months just to get an appointment and now they've gotten the appointment wrong. I know I'm right because I wrote it on our calendar while I was still on the phone with them. They called today and they're off by a day. It doesn't sound like much but I'm so anxious to start TTC again and we've already waited 2 months that even one extra day is really sucky.

As far as the sexy... I'll let you know after our appointment lol

Overall, it's been more good days than bad. I really feel like I've been making steady improvements over the last four (almost five... can you believe it!) months. Like I said, I've missed hearing from you and I'm glad to see you around!

nuttycoconut · May 2012

Hi ladies! It's nice to see all of the updates on you all. ((Hugs)) to those of you who are having a hard time.

Good: School countdown! I can't wait for my first summer off. I still have a ways to go though, school isn't over until June 21. I actually had a decent week last week so I'm hoping that since my emotions have been under control, I can keep my class under control as well. Also, it's teacher appreciation week so we will be a little bit spoiled this week. I got a huge breakfast this morning, we are going to munch on some snacks in the teacher's lounge tomorrow, and there will be lunch provided on Wednesday.

An even better good: my IVF egg retrieval is a week from today. I'm really hoping everything goes smoothly and I can look forward to a BFP soon.

Bad: Not too much. Thank goodness I'm done with due date month. I have little bouts of anxiety here and there but feel much calmer and happier this past week.

Sexy: Well it could happen but we'd better be careful since I have like 20 eggs growing in there. Big Smile

wmthorpe0815 · May 2012

Hey Ladies,

So this weekend was really hard. On friday was when I was supposed to have Letson. I cried alot and pretty much did my own thing at the salon. But after friday I started to get better. Since I had so much free time I sent off my mothers day gift to my angel mama. I am really excited for her to get it. Except of course Fed ex wouldnt let me ship one of my items (nail polish).

We started TTC. It has been an up and down thing. I keep telling myself that have fun with it and dont make it a job but its hard. One part of me keeps saying its ok have another baby try for something that could bring you lots of joy while the other part says this whole mess could happen all over again. Especially since I found out I have the c677t mutation. It sounds really confusing and is not only dangerous for my babies but dangerous for my future babies.

But of course we have been doing alot of sexy time. We spent the night in a hotel this weekend and had a blast. I hope everyone is doing good. We have a tough weekend ahead of us. Keep your chins up and if need be drink alot. Love you girls!

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · May 2012

The Good: My DH and I have decided to look into moving (getting mortgage approval etc). It's been fun looking at houses for real (don't worry Magdalina we're talking 116th and Brooks School area so still close to you).

The Bad: DH has been working a lot (got home at 9:30 last night and had to be at work at 6 this morning) and it will probably be like this for the next few weeks. Hate not seeing him much.

The Sexy: Well since DH isn't home....

The Ugly: I'm not looking forward to Mother's Day at all. I told DH over the weekend that I don't want to do anything what-so-ever (except continuing the landscaping project we started last weekend). He said, "you don't even want to go to my parents?" I told him he's more than welcome to go see his mom but I don't want to go. His family is notorious for making inappropriate comments and I'm not in the mood to deal with it. He's not very happy about the decision I made but has been to be accepting of it. We'll see.

careyalis · May 2012

foxxy1:
careyalis:

Crystal: Good for you for "divorcing" your friend. Sometimes you just have to let people go. AND It's 5:00 somewhere--never too early for a cocktail! My favorite at the moment is cucumber vodka, diet sprite, and a splash of sour...worth trying!!!

Good: I ended up having a blast at Derby and I am so glad that I went! I bought a groupon for tennis lessons and they start tonight. I am super excited to learn how to play! I also got some sweet cards and gifts from my angel exchange/ angel swap ladies and they totally made my day

Bad: I cried a lot yesterday. Pregnant women and babies usually don't bother me, but there is one lady (who I actually really like!) who gets me every time. She is much older and already has 3 older kids. This baby was totally a surprise and I'm sooooo jealous that she got to keep a child that she didn't even want. She is a great mother yadda yadda, but for some reason I can't stand to be around her when others don't bother me at all. I had to leave church early because I started crying when I saw her walking back from communion.

Ugly: I was already a little bit weepy when I realized that I forgot to order my bridesmaids dress for a friends wedding. When I called to order it, they told me that it was past the rush delivery point and there is nothing that they could do. I was HYSTERICAL! I finally found the dress on some random website that claims to get it to you in 3 weeks so I spent a crap load extra to super rush it and I don't even know if it will fit!!

Sexy: AF finally left and it has been Sexfest 2012 in my household. I'm not complaining

Carey! Good for you on the tennis lessons! Watch out, Venus and Serena!

I'm so sorry about your emotional day yesterday. Sometimes it just sneaks up on you like that. I know I can be completely fine around one friend who has a baby but I can't be around others who are expecting. So hard. This is part of the grieving process that no one prepares you for.

About your dress, is there a seamstress nearby that could help? Sometimes they do rush orders as well.

And I'm so jealous of your Sexfest!! Rawr! I can't wait until AF leaves so I can get it on!

Thanks girl! The wedding is in Key Largo, but I am flying to my girlfriends house in Tampa first for the bachelorette party and then riding with her. Her mom is awesome at sewing, so I am sure she will find a way to fit me in the dress at game time. I feel like my future is soooo unpredictable with ttc and all that I totally just guessed on a size. I might have to walk down the aisle with my zipper undone, but I will get in that dress! lol

careyalis · May 2012

Heatherhah:

****ticker warning**** Sorry!!

I am pregnant which I was worried about sharing here since there are so many new members. I didn't want to hurt anyone. But man this is not an easy time for a mom who lost her baby late in pregnancy it plays tricks on your mind for sure.

I wanted to throw it out there as well that I am excited to see your ticker. I think "normal" people's tickers can sometimes sting, but a rainbow ticker always makes me smile. It shows me that there is hope for my future. Congrats again girl!

Heatherhah · May 2012

careyalis- thank you so much it took me 4 weeks to post theticker and I am still a bit on edge about it the anxiety is terrible. But I figured I can't really jinx anything by having a ticker.

tuscanbride2007 · May 2012

careyalis:
Heatherhah:

****ticker warning**** Sorry!!

I am pregnant which I was worried about sharing here since there are so many new members. I didn't want to hurt anyone. But man this is not an easy time for a mom who lost her baby late in pregnancy it plays tricks on your mind for sure.

I wanted to throw it out there as well that I am excited to see your ticker. I think "normal" people's tickers can sometimes sting, but a rainbow ticker always makes me smile. It shows me that there is hope for my future. Congrats again girl!

Yes

weddedwife · May 2012

Foxxy, happy to see your face around here Big Smile

Sorry you had to divorce a friend; that always sucks but I'm glad you are feeling better for it. I'm pretty sure I've lost a few friends since our loss but they've gone rather the silent way.

Yay for a normal LP! A few of mine were shorter after AF returned and it made me kind of nervous, but eventually they sorted out. (Mine are always 10-11 days); I had a couple that were 9 and then finally one that was 12

Alright, the good: our walk is coming up in less than 2 weeks. We blew past our initial goal and have now raised well over $2,000. I'm thinking of upping the goal to $3,000! Also my close friend and her family are going to walk with us. She's really the only one who has been 100% supportive of me since our loss. Funny thing is, we've only been friends for a little over a year and now she's like my BFF. Life is funny like that.

The bad: you know, I'm happy to say that there isn't really anything all that bad to report. I've had my days but overall things have been good lately. Yay for small breaks!

The sexy: hopefully I will have the guts to add a new ticker soon... Embarrassed

pb127 · May 2012

I'm late but I just wanted to say... what a great post foxxy!!

The good... GTG this weekend that I'm really excited about. The bad... I'm thinking I need to drop out of a friend's wedding and I'm not sure how to tell her (and worrying about this is taking up too much of my brain). That's all I've got right now Stick out tongue

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