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How do you deal with the pain of hearing of other's pregnancies

Dori722Dori722
in Late Term and Child Loss
A friend of mine didn't tell me she was pregnant b/c she felt it was too soon after our loss. Her husband told mine but my DH didn't feel comfortable telling me and forgot over time to mention it. I re-joined the FB world and found out that way AND that she was already in her 3rd trimester. I struggled with it. I was hurt I didn't know, hurt/jealous that she's pregnant and due around when I was to be due with our twins, but happy for them. I emailed her a big congrats and now she has been calling me and emailing me. She feels so bad that I found out via FB and I'm not going to lie, I don't want to talk to her or see her. I'm not mad at her but it's just SO hard for me to talk about some one else's pregnancy and it was hard that it was sort of kept a secret from me (not that I blame them for not telling me).
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Re: How do you deal with the pain of hearing of other's pregnancies

  • foxxy1foxxy1 member

    They are hard to deal with and most people know about my loss so they're very sensitive on not sharing intimate details about their pregnancies with me and they know I probably won't comment on theirs. 

     Just tell your friend that while you're happy for her, it's still an incredibly hard time for you and it'll be a while before you'll be completely comfortable. Hopefully, she'll understand.  

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member

    I stayed away from fb for a while because I just couldn't deal with it. I'm back on now but I've blocked many people from my news feed that have new babies; I just don't want to see the pictures & happy status updates all the time. It's too much for me.

    Take it slow and do what protects your heart. If she is really a good friend she'll be patient and understanding. And if she's not, then screw her. That's how I feel.

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  • tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
    I just found out that my sister-in-law is pregnant. They knew at Annabelle's funeral, but wanted to wait to tell us the news, which is understandable since I sobbed for about 2 hours after finding out. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happy for them, especially because they suffered a miscarriage about the time I announced that I was pregnant. I just sometimes feel like time should have stopped the day Annabelle left us. I am hoping things will get easier as time goes by, but it is very hard to think that my niece/nephew will be the same age.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
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    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
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  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member

    I've found that when it comes to finding out someone in this group is pregnant I'm extremely, extremely happy.  I think because of the fact that I know this group doesn't walk around with this naive stance and the fact that we're all so deserving of our rainbows that it makes me happy and gives me hope.

    We had one couple we're very good friends with but live 2 hours away from so we don't see them much and my DH called them one day and found out they were about 20 weeks pregnant.  I'm happy for them as this is their first and it took awhile but I lost it.  Just so unfair.

    I know several others who have announced their 2nd or 3rd pregnancies and I don't deal well with that either.  I sometimes don't understand why some people are allowed 2 or 3 or 4 kids and we can't just have 1.  I had to deal with my 6 year old nephew telling me all about how his teacher at school is pregnant and how a "friend" of ours is pregnant and it took everything I had not to lose it.  I know he meant nothing by it but it was hard.  I typically hold it together until I can get to a private place to cry.

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

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