Loss ladies re: mother's day

illinigal · May 2012

I just bought Mother's Day cards and gifts for my mom and Dh's mom. Last year, I got my BFP the day after Mother's Day, so I figured I would be celebrating this year. I'm still sad that I won't be, but I'm still a mom even though my babies aren't here with me. For those of you with losses, how did you handle your first Mother's Day post loss? I'm dreading it, but not sure what to do.

BeeBee08 · May 2012

I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you and sending ((hugs)). This is not a nice weekend for you and many of the lovely ladies around here, and my heart breaks for you. Take care of yourself and do treat yourself to something wonderful. Even though it won't take away the pain, it can make it somewhat more bearable. I'm sorry.

Edwina.McDunnough · May 2012

Huge hugs and take care !!!

My mom died 3.5 years ago, my 21 yo cat died in my lap on MD 2 years ago and my EDD was May so I pretty much ignore the holiday except to send a greeting to my MIL and say hi and also call my dad.

AmCheri · May 2012

I'm dreading it, too. Let's see, I would be over 6 months pregnant in a perfect world right now. This weekend, I walked over to some Mother's Day cards knowing I needed to pick a few up. The first one that caught my eye from afar wasn't as sweet when I saw the sentiment. There was a picture of a woman with a beautiful pregnant belly and it said, "Happy First Mother's Day." And, there's the hot fire poker through my heart.

We'll spend Mother's Day this year with my MIL who is not my favorite person. A drink or five would be nice but in the ridiculous hope that our IUI works, I can't do it. After seeing the MD cards this weekend, I muttered to MH, "I'm a Mom," and I truly feel that way. Big hugs to everyone. I think it's just an all around sucky, throw-away day.

reb259 · May 2012

Thinking of you and all the other ladies experiencing the same thing. You are still a mom and don't let anyone or anything make you feel any less. Big hugs!!

illinigal · May 2012

We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh?

illinigal · May 2012

We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh? I get it if it is New Years and they wish you a Happy New Year, but why would you say Happy Mothers day to a couple?

AmCheri · May 2012

illinigal:
We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh?

Maybe getting out would be good? I didn't want to go anywhere yesterday. I wanted to stay home in bed with the covers over my head. MH encouraged me to get up and go see The Avengers with him. For a few brief moments, I was distracted enough to forget. It felt good.

mdluv21 · May 2012

Last year it was the same weekend as my little sister's wedding, so I was thankful for the distration. DH bought me a mother's day card which was sweet and after I got home from my sister's wedding weekend, I went to the cemetery and cried a lot.

This year we are supposed to go to MIL for a big brunch, I am dreading it because it is my SIL first mother's day with my 2 month old niece and she is a big'ol AW. I am sure no one there beside's DH will acknowledge me as a mother. Oh well.

We def. are though sweetie - we gave birth to sweet angels. I will be thinking of you and the other loss ladies on here. xoxo

abvernon · May 2012

We did MD yesterday with MIL and she was actually ok (must be on her meds).

On MD, I am running a race and I will be meeting my family @ the cemetery to hold a small service for my mom.

We sent flowers to my SIL and luckily we do not have to see her since she will be AW since it is her 1st mother's day Huh?

((hugs)) to all of us. I wish we could do a GTG on this day...know that I will be thinking of you all and having mimosas too.

Jackie2200 · May 2012

I didn't handle it well at all and neither did anyone else around me. I lost my boys in February and was still a big mess in May. I cried mostly all day but then ended up getting a massage which took my mind off things for an hour or so. DH gave me a nice card and MIL called to say she ws thinking of me but no one from my family said a thing to me, which made things so much worse.

I am still at a loss for what to do this year. I haven't really thought about it other than to avoid it all together. I am pretty far along in this pegnancy, which will help, but I'm sure I'll be sad too.

Jackie2200 · May 2012

illinigal:
We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh?

Jackie2200 · May 2012

illinigal:
We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh?

Jackie2200 · May 2012

illinigal:
We don't have plans to see ether of our moms so their cards are getting mailed to them. Dh wants to go to the track to watch the first practice day for the Indy 500 (he is a huge fan), but I don't really want to go. I guess I could just chill out at home. Last year we went to IHop and they told us happy Mother's day... We didn't have parents or kids with us so why in the world would they say that... Ugh?

I would highly recommend going to the racetrack. That sounds awesome and will be such a good, unmotherly distraction.

I really didn't think it would be a rough day until I woke up on MD last year and was so thankful that I had scheduled that massage to get me out of the house.

((hugs))

jlcrane78 · May 2012

My MIL sent me the sweetest card this year, acknowledging me as a mother. I think so many people don't know what to do or say when your baby/ies are angels, and I had been dreading this day so much because it should've been different this year. Having someone acknowledge the boys was very encouraging. I anticipate some tears, but I'm confident my husband will be holding my hand through my pain and I will be ok. Love to you ladies as you remember your angels this year.

Aegis2005 · May 2012

I've got a busy day planned, hoping that little downtime will be a good thing.

SweetDahlia · May 2012

We have no plans. I haven't really been able to celebrate at all since my first loss.

Father's Day 2 years ago the checkout lady told DH Happy Father's Day. I mean WTF? We didn't have kids with us, weren't buying baby stuff. I said we can't have kids, but thanks. Dumb a$$

eponine7682 · May 2012

I just want to send you a lot of hugs.

Gregermis · May 2012

This will be my first... I m/c #1 a few weeks after mothers day last year ... I plan on avoiding it as much as possible

so1966 · May 2012

BeeBee08:
I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you and sending ((hugs)). This is not a nice weekend for you and many of the lovely ladies around here, and my heart breaks for you. Take care of yourself and do treat yourself to something wonderful. Even though it won't take away the pain, it can make it somewhat more bearable. I'm sorry.

ditto! i dreaded mother's day for a long time while TTCing, so i never forget and think of the wonderful, brave ladies enduring IF. ((HUGS))

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