Intro and a Question

Jess & Drew · May 2012

Hi ladies. DH and I just had our fist baby this past Wednesday. Evelyn "Evey" Grace was born on May 2nd at 6:05 pm which also happened to be our 3rd Anniversary. I definitely couldn't have received a better anniversary present, and we couldn't be more happy. She's perfect in every way, but of course I may be biased.

Now for a little bit of background and my question. I never really posted on the other IF boards, but I figured that you ladies would be able to relate (hopefully). I was diagnosed with PCOS before DH and I were married, and we struggled to get pregnant for about 2 yrs. I know it's no where near as long as some people, but I still shared some of the same tears and fears as a lot of you. Anyways, now that Evey is here, I couldn't be more happy. I have never loved anything or anyone so much in my life. I could just sit and hold her for hours. I have even discovered a whole new level of love for my DH after seeing him interact with her. He's a great daddy. Everything is wonderful, and I've waited for this and for her for so long and now that it's here it seems so surreal. A small part of me is just waiting to wake up from this dream, and it will all be gone. Like at any moment this bubble is going to burst. I've noticed that each day I worry about this less and less, but I do still worry about it. Did any of you ever go through this? Like you just can't possibly believe that you've finally made it to the other side of the IF battle?

krissyh21 · May 2012

Yes, it was pretty surreal for several months. In fact, it took a bit to click that I was D's mommy and not just his babysitter. But it did happen and it did click that I did have a family of my own.

But in the same sense, you are never really on the other side of the IF battle... IF is always with me and changed the whole dynamics of what my family would be like (I am 1 and done because of IF). Granted, I am super lucky to have my one, but still IF is a battle you fight for a lifetime.

Congrats on your LO!

brideinOC · May 2012

Welcome!!

Jess & Drew · May 2012

krissyh21:

Yes, it was pretty surreal for several months. In fact, it took a bit to click that I was D's mommy and not just his babysitter. But it did happen and it did click that I did have a family of my own.

But in the same sense, you are never really on the other side of the IF battle... IF is always with me and changed the whole dynamics of what my family would be like (I am 1 and done because of IF). Granted, I am super lucky to have my one, but still IF is a battle you fight for a lifetime.

Congrats on your LO!

Thank you so much! I hate that we have to/had to feel this way, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. It's really reassuring.

GreenEyedGal · May 2012

Yep, I had high anxiety pretty much the first year after my son was born because I was so scared he was going to be taken away from me. It really didn't go away until after he was out of the "SIDS zone". With that said, I was a lot calmer after he was born as opposed to when I was pregnant. At least when he's outside, I have a tad more control of his well being than when he's inside!

babystinkbreath · May 2012

I think the pp are right in that the feelings of IF never really leave you. It is just too hard after everything we had to go thru to completely let go of those feelings.

But congrats on your beautiful little girl. Evelyn was our other name choice (but we went with Cassandra), so I love her name!

and welcome!

LIAngel · May 2012

Congrats and Welcome!

hlsgrad · May 2012

I was a complete ball of nerves throughout my pregnancy (6 IVF's to get DD), and probably until DD was 1 and out of risk for SIDS. Now I still worry WAY more than the average non-IF mom, but much better ( i was already a worrier pre-IF).

We just adopted our DD2, and I am much more relaxed with her, but still often have to remind myself that she's really mine and I really have a family after all of the heartache. Of course the fact that DD2 came to us at almost 1 year old and was hitting milestones like crazy helped a lot of the anxiety because I didn't have to obsess about SIDS or delays anymore. Welcome and congrats!

patchen30 · May 2012

Yes, I know exactly how you feel. My ILs give me back-handed compliments now like "you're so much more relaxed than you were in the beginning" - it p*sses me off, b/c although they mean well, if they went through 3 years of IF w/ 4 IUIs, 3 IVFs and an FET to get their kids, they'd be pretty neurotic too. I do think the scars fade over time from IF, and you will relax (although I still get upset when I talk about it - now I just try and avoid the topic). It's terrifying to have a newborn, but just remember, they're tougher than they seem! Hang in there. This is for real - you made it.

sherryberry2 · May 2012

I remember thinking I couldn't wait until my girls were born so I could stop worrying about losing them. After they were born, I worried about SIDS and one of my daughters had a choking problem. The worry lessened dramatically around six months and I hope will even more at one year.

The whole thing still feels surreal. It's hard to wrap my brain around the fact that everything worked out so well. How can you go from thinking you will never have your own children to a relatively easy pregnancy to two beautiful baby girls? You feel like at some point something has to go wrong, right? I am just grateful every day, believe that I got my miracle babies, and that everything will remain okay.

Congrats and welcome!

Jess & Drew · May 2012

Thank you so much ladies. I tried explaining to DH how I was feeling, and he could somewhat understand but not really. He just kept telling me that he wouldn't let anyone take my baby away from me. I just needed to know I'm not alone in these feelings.

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