- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2012 Moms
missbugg21
member
Feeling so stressed out! (long VENT about sister)
missbugg21
member
When I first found out I was pregnant again, my older sister (who lives out of state) graciously volunteered to come here and help me when the new baby came. She offered to come stay with my other two LOs while DH and I were in the hospital and she offered to stay for a few days after we got home so we could have help while we get back into our routine. Sounds great, right? Well, I thought so too, but now everything is changing...
My sister has a pretty stressful life at home and let me know a few months ago that she was partly using this trip as a mini vacation for herself. She has friends that live here and she made plans to hang out with them while she's here. I asked her what her intentions really were. I asked "Are you planning to come here to help me? Or go hanging out with your friends?" I needed to know because even though I don't have any family here or any friends that I would leave my kids with, I was planning to make other arrangements for my kids if need be.
She re-assured me that helping me was her #1 priority and that she would hang out with her friends the weekend before I have the baby and the weekend after I get home from the hospital. That sounded all fine and good until my doctor rescheduled my c/s today. Instead of being on a Tuesday, it's on a Friday. I called my sister right away because I know she already made plans to hang out with her friends that weekend, but since I'm going to be in the hospital I needed her to cancel those plans. She starts POUTING and tries to put on a guilt trip saying (all sad) "Well... I guess I'll just be cooped up in the house all weekend and maybe on Monday, too."
I didn't respond right away because I was trying to wrap my head around what was happening. Then in the same breath she says "Well, whatever you need me to do I'll do because I'm coming to help you BUT if I want to go hang out for a few hours can I drop them off at your neighbor's house or bring them to the hospital to stay with you?"
O...M...G I wanted to loose it! I am no longer confident that she can be there for me like I need her to be. I worry about how my kids will be while I'm gone. I'll need her to get DS to and from school for me, but she's afraid to drive anywhere and is bad with directions... :-(
I want to cry. I feel like I want to just have DH stay home with them and I'll be at the hospital by myself, but he's always stayed with me. Plus after surgery, they require that someone stay with you for the first 24 hours.
I'm sorry this vent is so long... I'm just so stressed right now because I only have 10 days to figure this out. I don't know what to do....
:-(
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling so stressed out! (long VENT about sister)
Sorry your going through that. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Is there ANYONE who could watch your children just that friday? Then you wouldn't have to worry about the directions and school and your sister could have that day with her friends to de-stress. Then she could be at the house with them that night and over the rest of the weekend. Then you and your DH could give her some free time later in the week when you DH is able to be home with you.
Maybe if you could make arrangements for just that friday.. things would seem a little better!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Wow. I'm sorry you're dealing with this!
Personally, I would tell her that I think it's incredibly selfish to volunteer to come help and then try to pawn your kids off. I would remind her that since you'll have a newborn you also don't need a house guest unless she really is there to help you out.
Good Luck!