September 2012 Moms

Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you can say whatever you want to me!!!

People say such rude things sometimes! 

Today at work in sitting on the carpet working with a kindergarten student playing a word game. The lunch lady walks in and says "if you get any bigger your gonna have to roll yourself off of that carpet" I realize she thinks she is being funny. She also told me last week I was waddling- um no. I've gained 10lbs so far and was not overweight when I became pregnant. I am by no means huge or even overly big. She's kind of a "low budget" person and has no filter anyway.

Anyone else getting rude comments?? 

Ps- this is also the lady who when se found out I was pregnant (I was 12 weeks) told me "oh yeah, your cheeks are looking bigger" !!!! 

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Re: Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you can say whatever you want to me!!!

  • I hate people like this.  You should have fake cried to make her feel bad. 

    One person at my work told me she didn't want to ask if I was pregnant because it looked like I was just gaining weight...how is this okay to say?  AND she is a woman who has children...you'd think she would know better.

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  • I love how people think they can say things they (hopefully) wouldn't normally just because we are pregnant. Like our feelings won't still get hurt. It's just pure stupidity. Multiple times a day I have to repeat to myself "water off a duck's back" so I don't take all these rude things to heart.

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  • Oh sweetie I am sorry, don't let people like that get to you. I have everyone trying to touch my belly even complete strangers and that to me is rude and weird. 
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  • I would've had to be mean and say something like, "Yep, and you're the expert on waddling, you would know!" 

    People around me are usually very sweet, and tell me my bump is adorable, but I've had one older woman tell me I was way too big for how far along I am, and that I'm going to be huge by the end. I chalk it up to the fact that, back in her day, you hid your pregnancy for as long as you could, like it was a disease or something. The fact that I wear maternity dresses that flatter the bump is probably just shocking to her.  

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  • UGH! A woman I sit next to everyday, said to me (upon my announcing I was pregnant): "Oh I thought you were getting bigger around the middle, and up top, too!" She basically admitted she was checking out my boobs. She is in her 50's and acts like my MOTHER anyway, but that comment crossed the line. I should have gone to HR for harassment.

    Sorry that you have to deal with people like this!

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  • That's just ridiculous!  It's so hard to comprehend the utterly rude things people say.  It saddens me that society as a whole seems to be filled with people who have no tact or filter.
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    ~ TTC cheerleader for the fabulously wonderful j&a09 ~
    ~ Much love and many prayers to Panderp ~

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  • I feel like I look really pregnant considering I had no stomach really and now I have a decent bump that I think is adorable...But I hate when people tell me I don't look pregnant at all. Seriously, is that supposed to be a compliment? I'm a little self-conscious about not gaining a lot, so it really irks me.

    I used some free baby product coupons at the grocery store, and the lady asked if I had a baby. I told her one was on the way and she gawked at me and told me that I don't even look pregnant and that she can't believe I'm due in September. I wanted to be all like, "Well, you don't know me so you don't know that this is me obviously pregnant. GEEZ" but she was a well-intentioned older lady, so I just smiled and told her I'm getting rounder every day. 

    Or the secretary at school who told me "Wow, you are finally looking how you are supposed to look." Um, thanks? I guess that implies that I didn't look "right" the other 20 weeks...?


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  • Be forewarned- it gets worse after the baby arrives. It appears as though you are asking for parenting advice just by taking your baby out in public. I can't even begin to tell you all the ridiculous/inappropriate things people have offered up when I've been out with my girls. I once had an old lady come up and tear into me for not bringing a pillow to the grocery store for DD2 to sit on in the shopping cart. WTF? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I've learned over the years to nod, walk away, and let it roll off (although I did tell the pillow lady that she was insane).
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    Elizabeth Grace 11.20.05 Nora June 7.15.08 Beatrix Catherine 9.4.12
  • imageSteph+J:
    Being overweight =/= waddling and vice versa.  And, wealth certainly doesn't determine class, that's for damn sure.

    Yes

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    Cooper Edward

    9.25.12

  • People really do suck sometimes! About 6 months after I gave birth to DD, I went to a local park that had a mini train that you could ride on. A lady who was selling tickets for the train sweetly told me pregnant women couldnt ride. I mean geeze I still had 15 lbs to go, but talk about depressing!
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  • imageSteph+J:
    Being overweight =/= waddling and vice versa.  And, wealth certainly doesn't determine class, that's for damn sure.

    Agreed. Sorry she's rude, but just because someone may have a lower income does not automatically mean they are stupid or have less tact.  

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  • imagetonir319:

    imageSteph+J:
    Being overweight =/= waddling and vice versa.  And, wealth certainly doesn't determine class, that's for damn sure.

    Agreed. Sorry she's rude, but just because someone may have a lower income does not automatically mean they are stupid or have less tact.  

     

    Haha oh no I didn't mean it that way! Sorry! She probably makes more than I do as I'm a newer teacher. I meant her personality is "low budget" not her actual income. 

    Like PP said, money does not equal class. I couldn't agree more! 

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  • it is a not entirely uncommon expression... 

     

    imageauroraloo:
    imageSteph+J:
    imageSarahJean0:
    imagetonir319:

    imageSteph+J:
    Being overweight =/= waddling and vice versa.  And, wealth certainly doesn't determine class, that's for damn sure.

    Agreed. Sorry she's rude, but just because someone may have a lower income does not automatically mean they are stupid or have less tact.  

     

    Haha oh no I didn't mean it that way! Sorry! She probably makes more than I do as I'm a newer teacher. I meant her personality is "low budget" not her actual income. 

    Like PP said, money does not equal class. I couldn't agree more! 

    Confused

    THAT'S THE POINT. You cannot assign "personality" based on socio-economic status. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can say whatever you want about others.
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  • imagezundoko@gmail.com:

    it is a not entirely uncommon expression... 

    Neither are a lot of other blanket statements, but it doesn't mean they are correct or tactful to say. Actually I've never heard the expression, so maybe it's a regional thing. I just assumed it's like calling someone "white trash." 

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  • imageWhite0rchid:
    Be forewarned- it gets worse after the baby arrives. It appears as though you are asking for parenting advice just by taking your baby out in public. I can't even begin to tell you all the ridiculous/inappropriate things people have offered up when I've been out with my girls. I once had an old lady come up and tear into me for not bringing a pillow to the grocery store for DD2 to sit on in the shopping cart. WTF? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I've learned over the years to nod, walk away, and let it roll off (although I did tell the pillow lady that she was insane).

    YES!! Ditto this-it only gets worse after your baby is here. Everyone has something to say about everything you do!

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  • imagebadkitty2012:
    People really do suck sometimes! About 6 months after I gave birth to DD, I went to a local park that had a mini train that you could ride on. A lady who was selling tickets for the train sweetly told me pregnant women couldnt ride. I mean geeze I still had 15 lbs to go, but talk about depressing!

    One of my jobs is at Applebee's, and a fellow server politely told a woman that he didn't feel comfortable serving her alcohol while she was pregnant. (Unfortunately, company policy says that we have to, but he was trying to express his concern.) Not only was she apparently NOT pregnant, but he was fired on the spot for trying to go against company policy.

    Regardless, he felt like an ass.

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    Lilypie - (P7p7)
  • imagezundoko@gmail.com:

    it is a not entirely uncommon expression... 

     

    imageauroraloo:
    imageSteph+J:
    imageSarahJean0:
    imagetonir319:

    imageSteph+J:
    Being overweight =/= waddling and vice versa.  And, wealth certainly doesn't determine class, that's for damn sure.

    Agreed. Sorry she's rude, but just because someone may have a lower income does not automatically mean they are stupid or have less tact.  

     

    Haha oh no I didn't mean it that way! Sorry! She probably makes more than I do as I'm a newer teacher. I meant her personality is "low budget" not her actual income. 

    Like PP said, money does not equal class. I couldn't agree more! 

    Confused

    THAT'S THE POINT. You cannot assign "personality" based on socio-economic status. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can say whatever you want about others.

     

    Right. I wasn't assigning her personality based on socioeconomic status. I was assigning her personality as "low budget" based on her many tactless, rude, inconsiderate comments.

    There is a back story with this particular person. I've had trouble with her before, and not just about comments on my pregnancy. As recently as last week she verbally attacked me in the schools front office because my husband (high school band teacher) did not allow her son into his symphony band- as if I know anything about that.

    Sorry if I offended anyone by my comment, I think PP was right, it must be a regional thing as I'm not the only person I know who says that. I did not mean for it to get taken out of context and will be cautious about using that in the future. Sorry! Embarrassed

     

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  • imageSteph+J:
    imageSarahJean0:

    Right. I wasn't assigning her personality based on socioeconomic status. I was assigning her personality as "low budget" based on her many tactless, rude, inconsiderate comments.

    There is a back story with this particular person. I've had trouble with her before, and not just about comments on my pregnancy. As recently as last week she verbally attacked me in the schools front office because my husband (high school band teacher) did not allow her son into his symphony band- as if I know anything about that.

    Sorry if I offended anyone by my comment, I think PP was right, it must be a regional thing as I'm not the only person I know who says that. I did not mean for it to get taken out of context and will be cautious about using that in the future. Sorry! Embarrassed

     

    You're missing the point. That very phrase embodies the idea that low budget = tactless/rude. By using it to explain her behavior, you're perpetuating that stereotype.

    Got it. Didn't see it like that.

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  • I am still tired of people commenting on what I eat or drink!!! Just because I have a sprite instead of water doesn't mean I am not hydrating myself!!
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  • Yes I get these comments all the time! I was 125 before I got pregnant and I have gained 5 pounds so i don't see how I am waddling! And a lady I work with says if I keep eating the wway I do then I will weigh 300 lbs and my baby will weigh 3 lbs.

    && Yes People say my cheeks,butt, boobs everything it bigger. I wanna say well no sh!t. lol

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  • imageKris2011RN:
    I am still tired of people commenting on what I eat or drink!!! Just because I have a sprite instead of water doesn't mean I am not hydrating myself!!

    Sprite? Oh you're a saint! I go straight for the caffeine! :)

    Guess I just need to care less about what others say to me 

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  • PokedotPokedot member

    We have an older gentleman that picks up our mail at work and brings it to the post office daily. I think it gets him out of the house and gives him something to do. He basically complains each day about something, ie: postage, no parking spaces etc. I just brush it off, he's old and has nothing better to do. Well he has NO filter! I'm not super small but was working my way toward my weight loss goal of 80 lbs (I was at 50 lbs when I got pregnant.) He had noticed that I had lost weight but still made comments once in a while about it, in a negative way.

    Shoot to last Friday. He came in and must have seen an ultrasound pic on the background of my computer. He asks me sweetly, "Are you going to be a mama?" And I said yes...he told me he thought I might be but wasn't sure how to go about asking...if he should ask if I'm pregnant or just getting fat!!?!?!?! UUmm....OK! Because that would have been better to ask! Ugh! Some people!

     

     

  • willfluwillflu member
    Yep, through my first 2 I would get comments about my size all the time.  Now on my 3rd I cannot be held responsible for what might come out of my mouth.  My guess is people won't like me very much but I don't care, it's not ok for them to be rude to me about my size simply because I'm pregnant.  It still makes you feel bad!
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  • So I've been feeling really ba about this thread since I posted it. I just wanted to say that I apologize again for anyone who may have read it an taken offense. After thinking about it, I see why the term I used isn't appropriate. In no way did I mean to offend anyone and was just venting. Sorry ladies :/
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  • One of co-workers makes comments about me getting bigger everyday. It is so annoying!! I have always struggled with my weight and I know that I can't avoid gaining weight but I seriously don't need to hear it everyday. I am ready to say something to her because it frustrates me.
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  • imagelinzeek44:

    I feel like I look really pregnant considering I had no stomach really and now I have a decent bump that I think is adorable...But I hate when people tell me I don't look pregnant at all. Seriously, is that supposed to be a compliment? I'm a little self-conscious about not gaining a lot, so it really irks me.

    This is me exactly.  And today, my principal, who has an uncanny ability to pick an emotional scab, says to me, "Someone's wearing vertical stripes to enhance the baby bump!"  All I said was, "They're horizontal."  I probably shouldn't have, but I am not going back next year and have less of a filter than normal.

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  • I had a student today play this game. She is pretty much completely obnoxious anyway and will literally raise her hand in the middle of a lesson (if she even raises her hand) and ask me "What's on your face" if I have a particularly noticeable zit. Today she blurted out "How much weight have you gained. I dont mean to be mean but geez my sister is pregnant and you look big." This is in front of my entire class while we are working through a reading lesson. 

    She does it purposefully to be a bitc* so it doesnt bother me too much.

    I also had a waitress with my son ask me how far along I was (I think I was like 4-5 months at the time) and when I told her she hung her mouth open and tole me she "couldnt believe how big I was." And how when she was pregnant she NEVER got that big even at the end. My husband and I just rolled our eyes at each other. The lack of tact is appalling.  

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  • We should all just start backhanding people and claim it was a muscle spasm.
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  • imagebluecrab1020:
    We should all just start backhanding people and claim it was a muscle spasm.

    This!! Lol 

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  • Yes, I have only gained 5.5 lbs so far at 21 weeks, but I definitely have a bump. My FIL told me I looked like I had gained a lot more than that and then he said if our ship sinks on our cruise next week everyone could hold on to me as a flotation device. I wasn't overweight pre-pregnancy, but my weight is something I'm self conscious of. I replied, "well, seeing as I'm still the skinniest person in the family, my weight should be the least if your worries." yes, it was a snarky reply, but he has made so many rude comments to me over the years I just had to get one in.
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