Bottle to breast feeding issues! Going to KILL DH!

Sparks in training! · May 2012

I am an EBF and Pump at work so DS will have food. Going on 3rd week of giving DS a bottle then I BF when I get home. The past few days, DS gets fussy when he is sleepy and would prefer a Easy bottle VS' taking the breast. We will fight for about ten mins and he will take the breast and fall asleep. Bottom line- IF I AM HOME=HE IS ONLY GETTING THE BOOB!

DH is FIGHTING me and trying to tell me to just give him the bottle and only pump from now on! WTF?! I know that some babies will have issues going between bottle and boob. I get that. And i know it is something we will work on. But to NOT have the support from DH is BULL%$*T! Especially when DS does still BF and I am NOT giving up BF!

DS has NO problem BF for his Last Call feeding, 4AM feeding or 7AM feeding. It is just his 6PM (when i just get home) feeding.

I am just so over DH! He thinks that DS is ALWAYS starving! DUDE its A PACIFIER!! JUST because he WANTS the Paci DOES NOT MEAN HE IS STARVING!!

OK...vent over.

KatieMarie27 · May 2012

If you want to keep BFing, then do it. Tell DH that you need his support in this instead of tension.

Moandsweetpea · May 2012

That sucks that you are not getting the support from DH. He probably can't handle the crying? MH will hand DS back to me if he's fussy because he gets flustered. Have you tried explaining why it's important to you to keep BFing?

kmhunt11 · May 2012

Tell him he doesn't get a vote. Your boobs, your milk, your choice. Pumping and feeding is so time-consuming. Cleaning bottles is so time consuming. If you can avoid those things, do it! I wouldn't even discuss it with him.

Baby Lynn · May 2012

I had the same problem with SO. I told him to support my decision in wanting to keep BF sometimes. And if it's only the one feeding then I wouldn't worry too much. If it was every feeding it'd be different. GL!

DogCat&Baby · May 2012

That is annoying. My DH loves feeding DD so I could see him leaning towards me pumping only and the baby always getting a bottle so he can have more opportunities to feed. But pumping is not fun and does not produce as much as when baby BFs. Thankfully he sees my frustrations and knows better than to say that... well for his sake I hope he knows better

speckledfrog · May 2012

kmhunt11:
Tell him he doesn't get a vote. Your boobs, your milk, your choice. Pumping and feeding is so time-consuming. Cleaning bottles is so time consuming. If you can avoid those things, do it! I wouldn't even discuss it with him.

I really disagree with this approach. Frankly, it's rude and demeaning. I'm not saying that you should do what he says, but I find it important to keep a partnership in parenting and in our marriage in general. Shutting him down is not helpful. Imagine how pissed you'd be if he did that to you!

I agree with PP, talk to YH about needing support. I'd probably say something like, "I know you don't agree, but this is really important to me. I could really use your support. XXX is a way you could help me with this."

Useonfire · May 2012

speckledfrog:
kmhunt11:
Tell him he doesn't get a vote. Your boobs, your milk, your choice. Pumping and feeding is so time-consuming. Cleaning bottles is so time consuming. If you can avoid those things, do it! I wouldn't even discuss it with him.
I really disagree with this approach. Frankly, it's rude and demeaning. I'm not saying that you should do what he says, but I find it important to keep a partnership in parenting and in our marriage in general. Shutting him down is not helpful. Imagine how pissed you'd be if he did that to you!
I agree with PP, talk to YH about needing support. I'd probably say something like, "I know you don't agree, but this is really important to me. I could really use your support. XXX is a way you could help me with this."

This.

countrygrl5533 · May 2012

speckledfrog:
kmhunt11:
Tell him he doesn't get a vote. Your boobs, your milk, your choice. Pumping and feeding is so time-consuming. Cleaning bottles is so time consuming. If you can avoid those things, do it! I wouldn't even discuss it with him.
I really disagree with this approach. Frankly, it's rude and demeaning. I'm not saying that you should do what he says, but I find it important to keep a partnership in parenting and in our marriage in general. Shutting him down is not helpful. Imagine how pissed you'd be if he did that to you!
I agree with PP, talk to YH about needing support. I'd probably say something like, "I know you don't agree, but this is really important to me. I could really use your support. XXX is a way you could help me with this."

Yup. This.

I wonder if he thinks it would just be easier on you to pump instead of nursing. So it maybe isn't so much he isn't supporting, he thinks he is helping but suggesting that.

L0L0 · May 2012

I don't think I need to tell you this, but don't cave in on this one! My friend ended up with an exclusively-bottle-fed baby this way, and she said it was extremely frustrating to have to pump THEN feed a fussy, hungry baby. Things spiraled downward, her supply dwindled, and she ended up giving him 100% formula after a few months. I know my husband is frustrated that nothing he can do to soothe the baby is as quick and effective as the boob, but he needs to learn other strategies besides turning to a bottle of my hard-won pumped milk that I'm trying to save up for when maternity leave ends.

BabyBear12 · May 2012

I haven't had quite as many frustrations with my DH giving my LO a bottle as you have but there have been a few times when DH has just resorted to the bottle instead of letting me nurse LO. Usually DH does one or two night time feedings between 10pm-2am so that I can get some sleep but other than that I want to feed LO. Yesterday I was in the shower and LO got hungry so DH gave him a bottle, I was kind of irritated and said he should have come gotten me instead. He said, "but you were in the shower!" like it would be a huge deal for me to towel off quickly to feed LO. I'm pretty adamant that if I'm in the house I need to feed him to keep my supply up and make sure LO will still take the breast.

L0L0:
I know my husband is frustrated that nothing he can do to soothe the baby is as quick and effective as the boob, but he needs to learn other strategies besides turning to a bottle of my hard-won pumped milk that I'm trying to save up for when maternity leave ends.

And this exactly! I only pump once a day, usually between 1-2am, so whatever is left over after the night time feedings with DH get added to my freezer stash for when I go back to work.

Mrs_MBed · May 2012

KatieMarie27:
If you want to keep BFing, then do it. Tell DH that you need his support in this instead of tension.

Yes

mlee116 · May 2012

speckledfrog:
kmhunt11:
Tell him he doesn't get a vote. Your boobs, your milk, your choice. Pumping and feeding is so time-consuming. Cleaning bottles is so time consuming. If you can avoid those things, do it! I wouldn't even discuss it with him.
I really disagree with this approach. Frankly, it's rude and demeaning. I'm not saying that you should do what he says, but I find it important to keep a partnership in parenting and in our marriage in general. Shutting him down is not helpful. Imagine how pissed you'd be if he did that to you!
I agree with PP, talk to YH about needing support. I'd probably say something like, "I know you don't agree, but this is really important to me. I could really use your support. XXX is a way you could help me with this."

This. Sometimes DH gives DS when I'm on my way home from work and yes, it kind of bothers me because I'd like to just nurse him. But it also takes me an hour to get home and I don't want DS to be hungry for that long. So we are more flexible with that feeding. But for the rest of the night and on weekends, DS is EBF. For me, it is a major bonding thing after I've been gone all day. You need to tell him how much this means to you.

Sparks in training! · May 2012

Update- DS does not have a issues of bottle to breast like we had assumed. It's just a "im beyond sleep tantrum". WHEW!!

On another note, DH and I had our first lovely yelling match! LOL. I followed everyone's advise on Thursday and tried to explain how important BF was for both all of us-bonding etc. I asked him to please support me etc and listened to each others views. On Friday...AFTER DS had BF for 15 mins DS had a melt down. DH freaked out and demanded that DS be given a bottle and not let my ego starve DS.

LMAO- DH thinks that DS must get tired. His little jaw must not be able to handle bf. WTH?! I can only laugh! As if ALL of a sudden LO can not physically suck!

Anywho..I have put in a phone call to DS doc and will let DH hear it from someone else.

Bottle to breast feeding issues! Going to KILL DH!

Re: Bottle to breast feeding issues! Going to KILL DH!

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