- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
September 2012 Moms
Seriously, why do people *NOT* listen? <kinda long>
So I registered at both BRU and Target not because I wanted to register for anything, but because I knew with some of mine and my DH's family, I had to. Otherwise, we would get nothing or a bunch of stuff we didn't need or want. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this situation. Well, I honestly registered for very little, but made sure to add a few things that would be nice to have and are reasonably priced so that we can then spend our own money on the necessities. OK, no big deal.
Well, weeks ago DH spoke to his mom who insisted that she and DH's grandmother wanted to get us a car seat. We had a convertible one picked out - we went with a stroller that has a bassinet piece and then the stroller, so we don't really need or want a infant seat and we certainly don't need a stroller/carseat system. FF to yesterday. MIL starts blowing up DH's phone and email regarding the carseat. She apparently took it upon herself to scour the internet for "similar" (I use that word very liberally) convertible seats and kept saying something to the effect that *she* liked the head support in this one better or the fastener mechanism in this one better than the one I had chosen. None of the ones she sent links to were anywhere close to the one I had picked out, especially with regard to their safety rating. Ok, fine if you think that what I picked out is too expensive. Then just buy us something else or give us part of the amount and we can make up the rest. We appreciate anything and never dictated to her what she should buy us or when. She is the one that mentioned car sear from the beginning. But please do not second guess my choices as I have done quite a lot of reseach on all the products I have either already purchased or have asked for. And please don't insist on getting me something that we didn't ask for when we specified something else. It's just a waste of money and effort. I will either have to send the item back, if the retailer will even take it back or I will end up donating it.
And instead of telling her we would prefer the one we asked for, but that she didn't have to get it and could get us something else, DH tip-toed around the situation and just told her that the one we asked for had the same features. I just know she is going to read into that and think it's OK to get the one she wants. Which will then end up being a fiasco later on either when it arrives, at my baby shower, or when she come for her visit ;-/. Meh! I just don't understand why he won't say anything to her. He is so quick to say things to my parents... Ugh! Sorry for the long vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Seriously, why do people *NOT* listen? &lt;kinda long&gt;
"I know she is just trying to be helpful, but sometimes it's hard to keep the annoyed/angry pregnant lady in check.
"
I totally argree! I'm really not trying to be hateful, but it's like she feels that I am incapable of choosing something that is safe and appropriate for *my* child. Don't get me wrong, I am all about seeking advice from those that have lived through it, but there is a time and place for offering or *pushing* advice on us. And there is a kinder, gentler way of offering the advice too. The sad thing is that I know this will turn into an argument between DH and me. It always does when his mom is involved...
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
That is one thing I love about DH he is very supportive of me and has put his parents in their place a few times. Over the years I've developed a really great relationship with his parents though. They are really quite respectful of our (SIL just had a baby 6 months ago) baby wishes.
Hopefully she will get what you want, if not, I'm sure you will be able to return it. At that point in time you just have to try in the most polite way to say that the one you registered for was a better product and you really appreciate her generosity. I'm sure it won't go over well, but it's your baby. Good Luck!
My mom was the same way when i showed her the one we wanted she was like well lets see what else they have and i was like no i already went through all of them and this is the one i want. Just set them straight now before it gets out of control.
TTC since 10/2010-BFP 12/23/2011
Baby 2.0 BFP 10/16/2015
WOW that sounds so familiar, My Furture MIL is doing things like that. She is going to rummage sales and buying things that I have on my registry and giving them to me, telling me she got such a great deal on this so she got it. I told her nicely that she really needs to wait until after the baby shower to be buying more things because I have other friends and family members who would like to buy us things for our little man!
I have explained to my FI that she needs to stop and before she buys something that maybe she should ask me about it, she knows my number! For example she bought a baby wipe warmer, and me personally don't really want to use one, cause I can't warm my wipes when I'm out to dinner and have to change the little ones butt. I told her that I didn't want it and I think it hurt her feelings cause she was just like oh...well I'll just keep it at my house. I'm sorry but if you would have called and asked me you would have known to not buy it...UGH
I'm just glad my FI agrees with me and can kinda put his mom in line at points! I feel your pain, Just like my wedding, I will stick to my guns with the things I want for my child! If you don't like it doesn't mean that you should get us something else! I could rant ALL night about stuff like this.
<
>
May O12 Siggy Challenge!
Can you talk to your mom about it, and see if she is okay with you telling your inlaws that she already bought the one you want, even if it isn't true. That is the beat-around-the-bush way that I would handle it. Yep, cowardly and dishonestly.
ETA: typo