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Adoption
Got THE Call today !!!
We got chosen by a birthmom this weekend and are meeting her next week. I can't believe its happening so fast. We won't know the details of when she is due until our meeting. After all our years of infertility it doesn't seem real that I will actually have a baby. The thought makes me a little panicky! Good thing I went crazy buying baby stuff right away. Any advice for the first meeting with birthparents?
Started TTC January 2007
4 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
2012 - Adopted Child #1
2014- Adopted Child #2
2015 - Fostering Child #3
Check out my infertility turned adoption blog: Discovering Joy In The Storm
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Got THE Call today !!!
Hope everything goes well with the meeting - congrats! My advice is to take some pictures with you to show the expectant mom - pics of you and your DH, your home, your family/friends, etc. Maybe even put them in a little photo album and give it to her at the end of the meeting if that's okay with your agency.
Ask her questions - like how she's doing, what she likes, etc. Will you have a caseworker with you during the meeting? Our dd's birthmom's caseworker was great at asking us questions, too - it helped the conversation if we weren't sure what else to ask.
We were both nervous and we told them that. I think it helped calm everyone's nerves!
Exciting! GL!
A lot of people recommend bringing some sort of photo album to share with the BPs. Check with your agency to see if gifts are OK or if they're a no-no. If not, you can always bring flowers or a small treat. Admit you're nervous--they're going to be as well, and it's a nice ice-breaker.
:::Our Adoption Journey:::
Evan James was born 1/24/13 and matched with us 2/20/13. The LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues:
Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count
Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???
Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013
TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12
I am so happy for you! No advice but just prayers for all things positive
Dx PCOS 2003/high fasting insulin/clotting issues DH Dx with low sperm count, motility and morphology. Varicocele repair (11/1/2010)
2/2011 - Confirmed no improvement - On to Donor Sperm
4 failed IUIs in 2010
IUI#5 and 6- with DS, BFN
Final IUI - Lucky #7! IUI with DS - 20.Jun.2011 - 21.5 mil motile! Not so lucky - BFFN and the end of our IF journey....
Waiting for our family to be complete through Adoption - May 2012 - Hoping our baby finds us soon!
AWESOME!.... Good luck going forward and keep us posted.
Your SW should be giving you tips on meeting w/ BM. We had a closed adoption, so no personal experience on my end.
Congratulations. Speaking as a birth mom in an open adoption (and soon to be momma)
Practice talking to a mirror, this is kinda like an interview but don't be nervous. BM is just as nervous as you are so just relax. Practicing will give you a better handle on what is most important to convey to her and a cool and collected adoptive mom and dad are very attractive in the decision making. Basically say "Here's what I have to offer as a parent"
I had a bunch of questions when interviewing my biological child's parents.
What's important in your current family's life? Do you frequently travel? (Told me if they were well rounded and their interests in the world) Are you active in a religious institution?(I was raised in a Christian home and I wanted the same for my biological child) What field of work are you in?(Told me their educational status and disciplines, financially how they would provide, and a few aspects of their personality) What kind of background do you and your DH have? How did you meet? (It explained their family dynamic and gave an indication of how they would treat this baby)
Pictures of your home, pets, family, of you and DH doing the activities you said you enjoy, they all help give BM a better picture of the family you can provide her child. Keep it organized in a little photo album. If you prepare it will be so much more organized. The BM will be very nervous and maybe even a little hesitant so when you organize your information for her it will help her calm down, filter in all this new information, and engage in getting to know you. Show her who you guys are, be excited but cool and collected. It will help her feel you're a prepared couple and if that's always an important thing.
Best of luck and congratulations.
***If BM is wanting an open adoption an you and DH are hoping for that too please remember that if you want this woman to be available to play some kind of role in your family's life that maybe you should get some kind of feeling for who she is as a person and how to work within personalities for the possible future relationship.
Did you go with an Agency? If so who and if not how did you get so lucky to get chosen so fast? I have no idea where to start, but I am so ready!
Best of luck to you and congrats! I am very happy for you and yours and this wonderful journey you are about to experience. Just be yourself, relax, and remember is its meant to be it will be, after all she did pick you guys for a reason. ?