Parenting after a Loss

What is going on here?! (long)

DD was waking up 1-2 times a night to eat for a few weeks until she hit 6 months (after the 4-5 times of her 4mw was over). Then teething struck and she was waking anywhere from 3-4 times. Her teeth finally broke through last weekend, so we got a good day or two of going back to 1-2 wakings.

The last two nights, she has been up every 90 minutes, and crying from anywhere between 30-45 minutes! Thursday night, she was not feeling well so I would feed her every time she woke up if shushing didn't work after the first five minutes.

Last night, I tried to not feed her every time, especially if she woke up less than 2 hrs since her last feed. She was inconsolable! Her first cry was a good hour (off and on, but mostly on) (she is still in our room so I was with her the whole time either shushing, patting, ect.). Then she would finally settle down, only to wake up 30 minutes later. It got to a point where nothing was working to get her back to sleep, not even feeding.

I was essentially up the entire night since she would sleep for 30 minutes, cry for 40, and repeat, with some desperate attempts at feeding to quiet her down in between. Finally, at 7am, I brought her into our bed and she slept until 9. 

I am exhausted and at a loss. She hasn't cried or slept this bad since she was a newborn, and even then, feeding would get her back down.

Is it time to move her to her own room and sleep train? 

My Chart

My Life

BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d

Re: What is going on here?! (long)

  • I'm no expert but I think it might be time to move her and sleep train. I like Healthy Sleep Habits. Happy Baby. Good luck! I know this can be an emotionally difficult transition for moms.

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    Justin + Laura 10.18.08
    TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11
    “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran
    Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS! 
    Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12
    Another baby on the way! 8.25.14


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  • I would say probably time to work on sleep training too. Do you think she's getting more teeth though? Sometimes they come quickly. With DD she was having pain weeks before anything would show up.
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

  • I'm pro sleep training myself, but the fact that she wasn't consoled by really anything makes me wonder if something else is going on.  Has she had a cold lately such that she might have an ear infection?  Night time grumpiness was one of the only signs DS ever had for ear infections.

    Good luck! 

  • imageLeah&Cole:

    I'm pro sleep training myself, but the fact that she wasn't consoled by really anything makes me wonder if something else is going on.  Has she had a cold lately such that she might have an ear infection?  Night time grumpiness was one of the only signs DS ever had for ear infections.

    Good luck! 

    totes agree with this and pp.

    image Image and video hosting by TinyPic image

    Justin + Laura 10.18.08
    TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11
    “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran
    Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS! 
    Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12
    Another baby on the way! 8.25.14


  • She had a fever and is getting over a cold, but was her normal chipper self all of yesterday.

    I was also thinking teeth, but DH and I couldn't see anything. She was only really bad for a day or two before her bottom teeth came in. Could another set come that quickly?

    I was starting to suspect ear infection, but she has been totally fine today. If it is an ear infection, would she only be crying at night?

    I'm going to give it a few more days to see if it continues before jumping into sleep training. I obviously don't want to do that if there is something wrong.

    My Chart

    My Life

    BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
    BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
    BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
    BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
    BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
    BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
    BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
  • Teeth, growth spurt and ear infection were my first thoughts...mainly bc of the inconsolable part.  I'd rule out those possibilities before trying to sleep train.  I think sleep training could help once you've ruled that stuff out.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • If it is not what PPs are saying then it could be separation anxiety. 
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  • imageJunebug060609:
    Teeth, growth spurt and ear infection were my first thoughts...mainly bc of the inconsolable part.

    I also thought ear infection, teeth and growth spurt in that order. Some kids manifest ear infections in unusual ways. Hope whatever it is clears up soon!  I'm also getting to the point of sleep training -- we can't go on much longer on minimal naps and multiply interrupted nights. ((hugs)) 

    image 

    BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 2/2011
    Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
    Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013

    Motherhood is not for wimps

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  • I'd suspect ear infection too.  I wonder if laying flat is changing the pressure in her ears and making them hurt more then.  I've taken DS in before to check his ears when he was acting wacky and I was debating whether he had an infection or just needed sleep training.  I figured if he didn't have an infection, then it was all good to go on sleep training.
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • imageluvmyducks:
    If it is not what PPs are saying then it could be separation anxiety. 
    This is a possibility as well.  D is definitely starting to show it, so our LOs are not too young.  FWIW, my (finally) discovering that D had adopted a 'blankie' as a transitional object made a HUGE difference in his ability to soothe himself to sleep. 

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • My first thought is teething as well. Just because you can't see anything doesn't mean they aren't there. DS's bottom teeth are like ninjas- they pop up with no warning other than a screaming, hysterical baby.

    Also the drainage from the cold could be hurting his ears when he lays flat. Babies can't clear their ears like we can and it freaks them out. DS's first cold he was doing the same thing at night- up screaming constantly. I took him to the doctor thinking he had an ear infection, but it was just drainage. Our pedi gave us some ear numbing drops and it works wonders. A few seconds after I give them to him he instantly mellows out and falls asleep. We always keep them on hand now.

    I would try giving him some Motrin and see if that helps. If that doesn't call your pedi and see if you can get in for an ear check and ear drops.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Thanks for all the advice, ladies!

    She has been fine all day, but we'll see how tonight goes. I'm expecting it to be the same as the last two nights. If so, I'll be calling the pedi Monday morning and bring her in. 


    My Chart

    My Life

    BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
    BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
    BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
    BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
    BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
    BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
    BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
  • imageJunebug060609:
    imageluvmyducks:
    If it is not what PPs are saying then it could be separation anxiety. 
    This is a possibility as well.  D is definitely starting to show it, so our LOs are not too young.  FWIW, my (finally) discovering that D had adopted a 'blankie' as a transitional object made a HUGE difference in his ability to soothe himself to sleep. 

    Yep, K too.  She loves her lovey :) 

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