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Blended Families
Ilumine
member
I am pretty much done with the teen years.
Ilumine
member
It is days like this that make me want to leave DH so I dont have to deal with SS anymore.
Ok, background, SS refuses to bring his key or cell phone with him to school. And he has been locked out of the house on a number of occassions...to include in the very cold weather just 2 days after a previous incident where he was locked out...and was told that, at the age of 16, HE is responsible for remembering his keys not ME being responsible for letting HIM know if I wont be home or not when he gets home.
Basically, the 16 you told me straight up that I have to run my schedule by him in the mornings.
Anyhow, he is now playing soccer and has practice every afternoon until 5:45 at the other base. And while it rained this morning (not anymore than it usually does for this region), it cleared up and was sunny by noon. So A) I did not expect the practice to be cancelled since it had been clear and dry for 3 hours, 
they have practiced in the actual rain and C) he needs to start carrying his damn keys like a mature responsible adult he demands US to treat him like.
FF to me coming home 15 minutes past the non-practice time and me SEEING him at the second floor window trying to break in. As I pull in, he drops down and is SCREAMING at me for not being home. And yet again I get from him that it is MY responsiblity to be home for HIM, since you know...I am a stay at home mom and this is my job.
Mind you, I was late because I was taking his father to a doctors appointment that we THOUGHT would be done 3 hours earlier. You know, part of my job as a wife.
Oh and before I have even unlocked the door, there are the Polezi pulling up because a neighbor up the street saw some hooded young adult male trying to break into a house.
Jesus effing Christ!
This is what I deal with every single day. And even though DH will punish him (because DH is following through), SS just does not "get it". And so it will happen again (you know, since being left outside in 10degree weather was not enough to teach him the lesson of remembering his key).
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Re: I am pretty much done with the teen years.
I agree. I also dont think this is normal teen behavior. If my friends or I got locked out, we would hang out at each others house until a parent came home. There wouldnt be a shitfit. Yikes dude.
You should have let the Polezi haul his @$$ off.
Okay, not really, but it would have been tempting. What a little douche. If I had ever spoken to any adult that way my mother would have popped me one right in the mouth. And I would have deserved it.
Your posts about SS depress me. Ok not really but my SS is only 12 so we are just getting started and it already is no fun. I keep telling myself it will get better but your SS shows me sometimes it doesn't...at least not before they are grown.
I so wish BM had to put up with him...just half the time.
Oh my lord. If I had ever blamed my parents for me forgetting my key and talked to them the way your SS talked to you, I wouldn't be alive today. Maybe that's a bit drastic, but I certainly would have been smacked for that behavior. I'm sorry that he's treating you so terribly.
I'm glad your husband is following through with discipline. Is taking away the cellphone an option at this point? I mean, he's already refusing to take it to school each day, so if he's not going to use it for it's intended purpose then why does he need it at all? I'd like to think that eventually SS will figure out that you and your husband don't answer to him and you don't need to run your schedule by him each day, but so far that doesn't seem to be happening.
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This. There is no way I would have disrespected an adult like that. BF or no BF. I hope he is in counseling, I can't remember either. This kid is going to explode one day.
What do you say to him when he goes off on you? I would be half tempted to tell him where to go and how to get there.
I have never thought of it in these term but she is right, it is like he looks for a reason to get mad and blame on you. And whoever mentioned it before, he does have some serious anger management issues even if it is 99% at you, is he still in counseling and has that portion of it been addressed? I truly think that there is so much more going on with him than being a douchey teen.
I would be that he would grow up to be a wife abuser. ICK!
He lost his computer and Xbox for two days. He knows that if he has any reaction about being locked out again (given he is required to have it on him at all time), he will lose his computer and xbox for a week...and then I looked into his eyes and reminded him that I am home all day and anything can happen to the computer and gaming system.
DH backed me up too.
The parting shot was I will purposefully not be home at least one day a week (never on the same day) from now until he leaves in June.
I ALSO think that DH said something along the line that if he keeps this up, there wont be a car...
What about counseling? Is that not possible with the situation (being overseas)? Sometimes it takes a while to find someone the kid will click with, but the kid obviously has issues and, of course, his mom being a complete jackass doesn't help matters.
O.M.G.... My son was a lazy kid, but he never yelled at me, if he did he would be eating my fist. Well not really, but wtf is wrong with kids these days.
A car, he will forget where he parked and it will be YOUR fault!
This.
Have you tried hugging him?
It might be worth a shot
OMG! He sounds like my brother (who at 29 is still living at my parents' home). SS1 and SS2 would never speak to me that way. My brother will still do this to my parents but not to me. Both of my SSs have tried testing me but nothing to that level. I have been very clear that they will.not.speak.to.me in that way. This is my home that I own with their dad and they will respect me. They will be have their privledges revoked (cell phone, xbox, etc) with bad behavior. SS2 gave me the finger and he lost his cell phone for a week.
By no means am I an expert, but I immediately institute the punishment. DH will re-address when he gets home (basically to discuss his disappointment in behavior). It appeared from your post that DH handles the discipline. I also rarely use the "next time" threat. Inappropriate/rude behavior has immediate consequences. If two days of xbox restriction doesn't work, try a week. I also take ALL electronics (cell phone, kindle, ipod, gaming systems, computer) while making sure they have books to read. SS1 will do anything to avoid losing his cell phone (currently on restriction until grades go up) and SS2 cannot stand being punished to his bedroom (he will make "deals" to do yardwork in place of being in his bedroom).
You may want to speak to his soccor coach. Sometimes kids need someone else to tell them to shape up.
BTW... I hate the teen years as well. They are moody and cranky. There are days that I count down the time until they leave for college.
He is too old to forget his key. My boys are 16 and 18. They have each forgotten their keys once and been locked out until we got home (hours later) and have remembered each day since.
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011
TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!
LOL!!!!! yea really!!! I could actually see him doing this to Illlumine.
Can I ask why there would be a car anyways? I got a job at 15, worked and saved for a car (my mom did drive me to work for a year first). We will not be buying SD or LO a car, even if they were the 'best' kids in the world. Which obviously SS isn't.
Also, I would have been smacked back to kindergarten if I talked like that. Losing a computer and Xbox for two days doesn't seem severe enough to me. If I was determined to act that way, I'd be laughing at my Dad and his 'punishment.'
I seriously would have let the police take him. He has to learn to grow up and remember his own shizz and know that breaking into a house is NEVER an option.