Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: did anyone get put completely put under?
Yes. I was however I had an emergency c-section due to fetal distress and DD not recovering. I did have an epi but it was not converting to one that was good enough for the c-section and they could no longer wait to get it to work so I was put out. I was pretty traumatized about missing the whole thing.
I am having a repeat c-section this time as well but I believe I will be given a spinal this time around rather than an epi.
I had a non emergent c section due to dd being breech. The anesthesiologist misplaced my spinal. Although I kept saying I wasn't numb, she didn't believe me until my OB cut me open, and I felt everything. Since I was cut they couldn't replace the spinal, so I got put under.
I am hoping to VBAC when I get pregnant again. But I am terrified to go through that again. I am still bitter, but mainly because it could have been avoided, had the anesthiologist listened to me in the first place.
I had a general anasethsia c/s. I couldn't get DS out vaginally and after 3 hours of pushing and all attempted failed I had no choice. Unforunately my epi failed to numb me on the left side so I had to be put under. It was really hard for me to get over and accept but next child I hope to VBAC. I have labeled as having too small of a pelvis but I intend to try and fight that. I know women who have had wonderful and great c/s experiences but,for me, I would rather have a vaginal.
OMG - this was my worst fear about having a c-section, what a horrible experience for you.
BFP #2 March 2011, Baby Girl born November 2011!!!
I had a similar experience with the epi numbing my face and arms, but it also dropped my BP really low. I started throwing up and almost passed out. When I went in for the c/s, they put something stronger into the epi line. I immediately felt sick and passed out. I woke up two hours later. I was really upset to miss out on everything.
To make matters worse, I was having such a hard time with the pain meds that I was convinved that my daughter was my son, and I spent the whole first day thinking she was a he and calling her Ethan.
I had an emergency c-section at 10cm after about 6 hours of pushing. 4 without any meds. During the negotiations for a c-section (I was devastated), I told them there was no way I was going to have my hands and arms strapped down. I wanted to keep in control. I promised to keep them still. I was shaking really badly, but I was dead set on keeping my hands up where they told me to. The baby was brought out of me, and then I started hemorrhaging. I told them I wasn't feeling well, that I was starting to get nauseous.
The anesthesiologist came over and said he would give me something to take the edge off. I was like okay good! I heard my husband say he was leaving with the baby. He sounded really concerned, and I knew he had heard that I was hemorrhaging and that they needed to order blood. I tried to tell him I loved him, and that I was alright (I thought I had, but he said I never did). Boom! I was totally out.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery. My husband came in with the baby to breast feed. In a way I am really glad that they knocked me out. I probably would have been terrified being awake and hemorrhaging. But, sad I missed so much of my baby's actual birth process.
I had a very similar experience to you with #1, only they knocked me out b/c my epidural, which had not worked at all during my labor, stopped working even though they had "reloaded" it. I did get to see the baby, but then remember telling them I could feel them in there and that was it...don't remember another thing. I have had two c-sections since then (and am 12 weeks pregnant with #4) and the other c-sections have been totally different and much better experiences all around. Best of luck!
This is my first baby and I'm the same way, had spine surgery at 16 and was told that I can't have the epi or spinal. Unfortunately my doctor doesn't want to talk specifics until closer to time but I'm worried about how it is all going to work. Surprisingly, and I hope this doesn't offend you, but I'm glad to know there is someone out there with the same issue!
My epi worked fine for my 1st son after a very long unsuccessful induction.
I had a scheduled c-section for my 2nd. So they did a spinal...it didnt' take, I was a little numb but could move my legs and everything:( So I had to be kocked out. It sucked missing out on the first cry etc. for my husband too! But what matters it that I had a healthy baby boy.
I will say that coming out of it was awful for me. The pain meds they gave me hadn't kicked in yet and I was shivering so bad. The pain was horrible!!! I was so out of it took me a while to even look at my new little one. BUT once the morphine kicked in...all was good:) I pressed that little red button as often as I could:)
I labored for 16 hours, pushed for 1.5 hours, had an episiotomy and failed forceps attempt.
Ds was born 10 minutes later via csection under general anesthesia. I woke up about 2 hours later. DH was not allowed to be there either since it was an emergency situation.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
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