Sorry for the delay in the report. I know I said I would update in the morning, but there was a small snag, which basically had to do with pain medications. They made me so groggy that I couldn't focus on the teeny keys on my iPhone, which is how I posted that first post in the first place. If I had tried to write what you are about to read when I said I would, it would have taken me till now anyway. So settle in, friends - this is going to get LONG.
As most of you know by now, I've been battling a hellacious pain in my right breast for what seems like forever now. It started out as a plugged milk duct, which eventually got infected and turned into a lovely bout of mastitis. My arrogant SOB of an OBGYN decided that antibiotics were the only way to go, and when those antibiotics didn't work, he thought that a second round of a different antibiotic was the way to go. On Sunday morning, I called the emergency hotline for the OBGYN, and left a message explaining that this tactic was not working, and that I felt worse than ever. They basically just brushed me off, saying they didn't know what to tell me, except to make an appointment (the earliest I could get was Tuesday at 10am). Meanwhile, on Monday, I spoke with the LC at Sophie's pediatrician, who is awesome - she called me from her cell phone way after hours and talked with me for hours about what I was going through. At the end of the conversation, she asked me to stop by on my way home from the appointment with the OBGYN so that she could see the damage for herself.
Fast forward to just before midnight on Monday night. The pain in my breast was horrible. I couldn't stand up straight, and I was crying constantly. I finally managed to get myself to sleep after 4 ibuprofens and an hour and a half. Around 2:30am I woke up screaming - literally. I was hurting so bad that I was screaming in my sleep, and that's what woke me up. I wailed, I moaned, I clutched at my breast, and I wanted to die. Hubster came in after a few moments, asked if there was anything he could do for me, and I finally realized that there was: "You can take me to the emergency room." He nodded, told me to get dressed, and he packed up Sophie's diaper bag. Within 20 minutes we were in the car and on our way.
Amazingly, Sophie was being incredibly well-behaved. She seemed to be excited about being allowed to be up past her bedtime. When we got to the hospital, as I was being checked in, all the nurses and hospital staff just cooed over her - since we weren't in the maternity ward, they didn't get to see babies very often. She was the belle of the ball - smiling at everyone and everything! I have to admit, it was kind of nice seeing my baby smiling so much - it didn't take all the pain away, but it certainly helped.
The on-call doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I told him that I had a breast infection that was too painful to deal with anymore. He asked to take a look, and if he might touch it. After looking and gently feeling the mass, he said that he was pretty certain it was abscessed - and he wasn't even a breast doctor. He called my OBGYN for their recommendation for a breast surgeon, then admitted me into the hospital. They took me to the 4th floor, where they also set us up with a bassinet for Sophie - man, she almost didn't fit into it! - hooked me up to all the IVs, took all my vitals (again), gave me a good shot of morphine, and we settled in for the night.
Ha - the night. "The night" only lasted about 3 hours, since it was almost 4am by the time we got situated, and the breast surgeon came in to speak with us at 7am. Dr. D is a funny guy. He's the kind of man I'd like to have as a surgeon - he obviously knows what he's doing and what he's talking about, but he has a sense of humor, too. He told me that while his first priority was taking care of the abscess and relieving my pain, his second priority (which was not too far behind the first) was to do everything he could to make sure I could still breastfeed. Wahoo! That's EXACTLY what I wanted! I would have completely understood if they said there was no chance that I'd ever be able to breastfeed again from that side, but the fact that he said he would do everything in his power to at least try and make it possible meant the world to me.
So, we decided to put Plan A into action. Around 11:30, they took me downstairs to the ultrasound room, where they found the mass in my breast. After what seemed like forever and a day, another doctor (Dr. N) came in to do the aspiration. Basically, she would stick me with a needle and draw all the fluid out. When Dr. N finally came in, she looked disconcertingly at the ultrasounds, saying that she was concerned because she didn't see any fluid - that it had become one solid mass. Well, that's not good. That basically meant that she couldn't do anything about it, and that we would have to go to Plan B (which I'll tell you about soon), but in the meanwhile, she wanted to take a tissue sample to culture. Unfortunately, that didn't happen because she couldn't even get my breast numb - the teeny needles that you normally don't feel at all felt like burning poisonous teeth ripping into my flesh. I probably scared everyone on the floor with all my screaming. It was awful. After a couple tries, she stood back and admitted defeat. She said that Dr. D would be in there for Plan B anyway, but she just couldn't cause me so much pain any more.
I had never felt so low in my life. I was pretty much curled up into a fetal position on the gurney, my breast in terrible pain from all the poking and prodding, my eyes bleary and swollen from all the crying, my throat sore from all the wailing and screaming, my spirit dashed on the ground in a million pieces. What was even worse was that when I was brought back up to my room, the nurse told me that Hubster had taken Sophie home. Now, this I could understand, because the general ward of a hospital isn't really the best place for a 9 week-old baby, and people were coughing and oozing all around us, so I know that taking her home was a smart thing to do. But emotionally, I really needed to see them both, and it felt like another kick in the stomach to not have them there when I wanted them.
I guess daddies just need to do what's best for their daughters. Hubster took his daughter home to a safe, healthy place. Meanwhile, I called my daddy, who knew I was in the hospital (Hubster called him early that morning), and he got in the car and sped on up. My daddy spent the evening with me while I writhed in pain in between doses of pain meds, rubbing my back while I threw up water (the only thing I had been able to drink all day), and holding my hand and watching the Flyers game while I drifted in and out of consciousness. I hope that Hubster will care enough to do that for Sophie one day (not that I ever hope that Sophie will ever be in a position like that!).
On Wednesday morning, Dr. D came in and met with me one more time. He seemed slightly disappointed that the aspiration didn't work, but he didn't let it phase him at all. We were now going to do an incision and drainage, which is exactly like it sounds: he makes an incision and drains out everything that's not supposed to be there. He didn't want to do that at first because it would leave a scar, and that might interfere with my chances of breastfeeding later, but we both knew that it had to be done. My appointment in the OR would be around 2 or 3, so I had some time to kill.
While I was waiting, at around 9am, I got a knock on the door - it was my mom! She had been in CA for a business trip, and got a call from my dad that I was in the hospital. She had literally been there for one day out of her intended five, and caught a redeye back to the east coast so that she could be with me. I am a very, very lucky girl.
I then got a phone call from the LC, who I was supposed to meet at Sophie's pediatrician's office the day before. She immediately said, "You're in the hospital, aren't you?" I asked, "How did you know?" She replied, "Because you didn't come to see me, and I knew how desperate you were sounding on the phone the other night, so something must have been bad enough to cause you to go to the hospital." I filled her in on what was happening, and she gave me her love and told me to stay strong. Again, I am a lucky girl to have people like Debbie in my life.
A little bit before 2:00 they brought me downstairs to the pre-op room. My mom came down with me and hung out until I was wheeled into the OR. Before then, though, my blood pressure and temperature were taken about 50 million times, and I had to tell about 47 nurses my name and date of birth (I'm glad that they want to be sure they're not taking me in to do some boob augmentation surgery or something, but sheesh!). That's when I saw her: the nurse from hell! I had met this nurse once before last January, when I had to have a D&C after a missed miscarriage. This is the grumpiest woman I have ever met. When I was in the hospital last time, she kept asking if I was pregnant (um, no, I'm here because I lost the pregnancy, thanks), ignoring all the looks from the other nurses who looked at me sympathetically. Then she made fun of me when I told her I was afraid of needles and didn't want to see the IV in my hand. This time around I made it clear to her that I was having surgery on my right breast (which I pointed to) and it was very abscessed and painful. She then strapped on the blood pressure cuff rather roughly to my right arm, knocking her watch against my sore breast. Um, OW? Fortunately, Dr. D came in a couple minutes later and proclaimed he was a rock star, because he got to sign my boob.
Once I was wheeled into the OR, I got on the table and felt the nurse guide my head towards the top of the pillow. After that, I remember nothing. General anesthesia is pretty awesome when all you've felt for the past few weeks is extreme pain. The surgery apparently took a little over a half hour. And apparently, Dr. D found what Dr. N said wasn't there - fluid. Almost nothing but fluid. He drained it and packed it, then sent me off to recovery. I woke up a little over an hour later in horrible pain, but someone was there right away to give me something to take it away. Eventually, they deemed me fit enough to return to my room, where both of my parents were waiting for me.
That was all yesterday. Today they discharged me around noon. I have an appointment to see Dr. D tomorrow to go over the cultures he took from the fluids he drained, and so he can unpack the incision. (Until then, I can't shower - yuck! I feel gross!)
The good news is that the horrible pain is gone. It still hurts, but more in a really-deep-paper-cut kind of way. The other pain was so bad that it was worse than the pain of childbirth - at least with contractions I got a few minutes of relief, but this pain was constant. It also helped me to know that something was finally going to be done about it all. I spent almost the entire hospital stay drugged up on dilaudid, which took away the pain almost instantly, but also made me loopy as hell. Now that I'm home, I have lortab, which is like percocet, but not percocet, since that made me throw up. The doctors all said it was OK to breastfeed while I'm taking the pain meds, but I want to do more research before I expose Sophie to it.
If you got through all that, congratulations! You're more of a trooper than I thought! I'm going to try and sleep now - probably here on the couch, since I'm already comfy, and I can see myself tossing and turning in bed. Thank you all so much for the well wishes - it's really heartwarming to know you were all thinking of me. I'll keep you all posted about how the unpacking goes tomorrow.
Re: Here's what happened (settle in, this is LONG)
Holy hell! What a crazy few days you've had. I was thinking about you today and waiting for your update. I'm so glad you are doing better and are now home with hubby and DD. Rest!
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212 Facebook Admin.
WOW! You are a champ and that is quite the story!
so glad you can still breastfeed, the pain is almost completely gone!
My Colton...Growing up so fast!
And Coralee, his baby sister...On the way!
BFP #3 - 05.20.11, EDD - 01.31.12, Logan is here! 02.05.12
BFP #2 - 03.16.11, M/C 03.24.11
BFP #1 - 10.17.10, Blighted Ovum dx, M/C 01.09.11
My boobs hurt just reading this....
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you get some good rest.
TTC #2 since 10/2013
BFP #1 (4.14.14) ~ CP (4.18.14)
BFP #2 (6.27.14) ~ EDD 3.7.15
I did, actually, and read through the article. It's scary how similar our experiences were. You hit the nail on the head!
Melodic Insomniac
Well I'm excited that I was a little useful. I'm glad that you got everything figured out and are doing better. The whole abscess thing sounds awful!
Wow! My sympathy. Glad you got it figured out.
P.S. --- You need a new OB!!!
Wow! What a crazy story, and I thought having mastitis would be bad! I am so sorry you went through all of that, but happy you had Mom and Dad there with you. Even when we are Mommies ourselves we still need to be taken care of sometimes
I hope you are 100% pain free soon, but so happy you are feeling a little better for now!
What an experience! I'm glad you finally got some relief! Get better soon!
Also this. I'd be shopping for a new OB if I were in your shoes.
Yes! And send him a copy of the bill that may have been able to be prevented! Sorry you had to go through this, I can't imagaine the physical pain, and the emotional pain of being away from DD and fear of not being able to breastfeed. I hope you feel better hun! I would have wanted my mommy there too, I am glad you are lucky enough to have yours drop everything and tend to her baby!!