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Did they forget? Or are they just stupid/selfish? (Kinda long rant...)

MrsCisco222MrsCisco222
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Well, I just got a phone call from my cousin (who until she got her BFP swore she would never have children because they are "evil" and gross"). It's a girl. Yeah...that's great. I'm so happy that you are having a perfectly healthy precious baby girl that you will drop off at your mother's every chance you get. AHHH! I'm a pretty nice person, for the most part, but for some reason it took everything in me to tell her congrats. It's bad enough that I have to listen to her b!tch about being fat, having heartburn, and being cranky. Now I get to hear about this for the next forever. They seem to have forgotten that I was pregnant too. That I should be 11 weeks along. That my baby DIED and it's kind of difficult for me to listen to her and her sisters discuss everything happy, baby related. (We've had a lot of family get togethers lately, so it doesn't seem like I can get away from them.)

I don't know, maybe it's because I got the final "it's negative" bw back, or maybe it's because the bleeding finally stopped, or maybe it's because I am still just an emotional wreck who is just supposed to be okay but isn't.

Is it too much to ask for people to just not talk to me about baby stuff? Or rub the fact that they are fine in my face? How long do I have to pretend I'm happy before I just blow up on someone?

Ugh... Anyway, thanks for reading. :o) I feel a little better now.

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Re: Did they forget? Or are they just stupid/selfish? (Kinda long rant...)

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    imwithrebelimwithrebel
    No, I don't think it's rude to ask people not to talk to you about baby stuff. After struggling with infertility and back to back miscarriages, I've found that I'm a lot less afraid to say something bold to someone's face. I tell myself that I want the person to realize that what they said was inappropriate so that they'll hopefully think twice before doing it to anyone ever again.
    imageimage After 2 years of trying with PCOS, 7 rounds of Clomid/Femara, and 2 early miscarriages, we finally found success. :) Due on April 24, 2013! Beta 1 (16 dpo): 477, Beta 2 (19 dpo): 1568, Beta 3 (21 dpo): 3560 Aug 24 - 5w ultrasound - 1 8mm gestational sac Aug 31 - 6w ultrasound - 1 empty 15 mm gestational sac - possible blighted ovum - Beta 41,716 Sept 7 - 7w ultrasound - 2 sacs, heart beats, and fetal poles - TWINS!! Baby A measuring 6w4d, Baby B measuring 6w6d BabyFruit Ticker
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    ByGrace22ByGrace22 member

    I think in general people are stupid, unfortunately. 

     I try to just change the subject/get off the phone/leave the room when things get to be too much for me, but since people are stupid, they don't always get it.  Can you just avoid your cousin for a little while?  That might be the easiest thing to do.

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    Newbie24Newbie24
    I know exactly how you feel......My sister in law is expecting and is due the same date that I was due, however we lost our baby 5 weeks ago. We were due to get our first u/s 3 weeks ago and that same week, she sends me a picture of her first u/s with a healthy baby. I cried instantly upon seeing it b/c we were supposed to be having that too, but instead our baby was gone. Then, we go to my father in law's birthday and all I hear is her complaining about being so sick and if she knew she would have felt this way, she would have never gotten pregnant again. I finally couldn't take it and said I would be sick everyday the entire 9 months if it meant I could still have my baby growing healthy inside of me. They all just stared at me and of course she kept apologizing and I have not heard from her since. My friend also showed me pics of her newborn niece and went on and on about how wonderful she is the week I miscarried. Do people really not think about what your going through????? Hang in there and hopefully it will get better day by day! :)
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