I wish I knew how to respond (vent)

ToastieSimons · May 2012

DS is almost 2, yet looks more like a 1 yr old (he's about 23 lbs and crawling so between his size and motor skills noone would guess he's 2).

I had a LOVELY (sarcastic) woman in the grocery store ask me how far along I am. I said 35 weeks and of course she responded with the usual..."You're going to have your hands full". I was polite and just said "Well we're as prepared as we're going to be"

She then added in "Well this time remember to use birth control right away because you obviously couldn't wait more than a few weeks. I guess you didn't know you're more fertile right after giving birth".

I stood there mouth agape as she walked away.

My kids are going to be 2 years apart. That's not obscenely close, and even if it were obscenely close it's not of her business!

lite-bright · May 2012

That is just mind-bogglingly rude.

I'm not sure I would've had a response, either -- I mean, how do you prepare for encountering someone *that* awful during a normal day?

Sorry that you had a brush with such a pill. Ugh!

MaxandRuby · May 2012

I think I would have said "excuse me?" and then said "actually we waited X months. DS is actually almost 2 but thanks for the unsolicited and rude comment."

How tall is your son? DS2 is 25lb and 2.5 and everyone says he is huge. I find this humorous because he has never reached anything more then the 50% for anything when they were doing percentiles.

Sorry you had to deal with such a rude and thoughtless person.

ARJ11 · May 2012

Wow. Some people have no filter! I would have reacted just like you did...what makes people think its ok to say something like that to a stranger?

changingnames · May 2012

You could have asked her when SHE is due!

bugmommy · May 2012

People mean well but ugh. I get asked on a weekly basis if mine are twins. No growth issues but #2 is a giant. They are 22 months apart. I'm also only 5'1" so the next question is always "how tall is your DH?". I feel like telling them he's 5'9" ( he's 6'1") just to mess with them.

Next time tell her that you don't believe in birth control because of your religion

CrazeyJaneyR · May 2012

My first instinct is to say, "Are you asking me how soon my husband put his penis in my vagina? Because that's really rude."

That'll shut her up quick.

reabt · May 2012

Ugh, I wish I could even say how I would have responded but I'm so bad at those situations! I usually always think of my witty remark when I am already in the car. Sorry you had to deal with this woman, some people just do not know when to close their mouth!! I'm learning that people are going to think what they want, no matter what they know. So just keep being you, because from what I have read your a great mom!

st.augbride · May 2012

Who does that??? Wow, some people are such idiots!

bmstee03 · May 2012

CrazeyJaneyR:
My first instinct is to say, "Are you asking me how soon my husband put his penis in my vagina? Because that's really rude."
That'll shut her up quick.

I like this answer.

ABColeslaw · May 2012

It astounds me how rude people can be. My sister watches my son for me while I work. My niece is about 1 year older than Asher. My sister found out she was pregnant again like 2 weeks before I had Asher, making her kids a little more than a year and a half apart and Asher right in the middle of them. Well when she takes them all out, people say the rudest things to her, because it looks like she popped out one kid after the other. They all look alike, so they easily pass as siblings. Now Asher is so big for his age, that he and Kylee pass as twins and they say "Twins weren't enough for you?"

I wish rude people would just shut their judgmental faces.

FlgBride · May 2012

bmstee03:
CrazeyJaneyR:
My first instinct is to say, "Are you asking me how soon my husband put his penis in my vagina? Because that's really rude."
That'll shut her up quick.
I like this answer.

I also like this answer! So sorry that you had to deal with this woman today. Ugh!

gimmietimmies · May 2012

FlgBride:
bmstee03:
CrazeyJaneyR:

My first instinct is to say, "Are you asking me how soon my husband put his penis in my vagina? Because that's really rude."

That'll shut her up quick.

I like this answer.

I also like this answer! So sorry that you had to deal with this woman today. Ugh!

I like this answer too. I've said something similar, and usually it works. Sometimes you can't argue with stupid though, they have more experience at it.

ridesbuttons · May 2012

Who are these people in the world who say crap like this? Seriously? Who says that to a stranger????

I keep my own counsel on personal matters and expect strangers to keep their pie holes shut on the same.

WTF.

Louise06 · May 2012

I think I would have replied, "you really seem to have a lot going on in your life, I guess I better let you go" in my fake nice voice and went about shopping.

Florak8 · May 2012

-auntie-:
Maybe this woman was a little on spectrum cause she certainly had no social skills and seemed stuck on reproduction like it was a special interest. Seriously, I had someone do something similar to me in a grocery store; later I saw her being loaded onto the bus for the residential home for the developmentally disabled in town. Had I not seen that, I would have thought she was just rude.

I think this is the case more than we know. I try to keep that in mind when the person is a total stranger. If they say/do this type of thing to me, they probably are doing as bad or worse in the rest of their lives, and probably need help of one sort or the other.

I often wonder how many news stories where you think "How could someone act that way?" involve a person who has mental health issues or developmental delays. In one way, it makes me feel better about society. In another way, it makes me sad that that person has not been given the support needed to do better. In another, it scares me that my kid might be that person one day. To me, that is why all the social skills help we give now is so important.

cnybride2be · May 2012

CrazeyJaneyR:
My first instinct is to say, "Are you asking me how soon my husband put his penis in my vagina? Because that's really rude."
That'll shut her up quick.

Good answer!

This is such a perfectly horrifying response.

Can I just be in the same aisle... within earshot to hear this...

pawcall · May 2012

OMG. I wouldn't have had a response either!

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