retail therapy vent (semi IF related) - join in!!!

BzeetyD · May 2012

Sit down for a lil' backstory, ya'll:

Going into TTC we thought/hoped we'd be the lucky ones who get things to work within the first 6 months. But we/mostly I (due to our salary discrepancy) have been saving $$ for years (3 years) in case we needed to do treatments for IF. We saved enough to be able to pay for our cycles without using a loan. We're proud of this.

I have been continuing to save so we can pay for my meds and anything else that might come up... or if we should need to move to adoption. KaChing!

It's important to me to be "smart" with money. I like to pretend to shop online by filling up my cart but never checking out (works pretty good.)

But...

but..

BUT...

I have been putting off any "wants" for a long long time and it is driving me nuts. I'm getting retail therapy blue balls! I might have to break down.

Now I'm not a fancy shoe or purse girl (but if you are, go for it) but I feel like some shopping is in order.

Anytime I look at an outfit in a catalog or if I dare tempt myself in Anthropologie I say "but this could be a dose of Follistim..."

Sometimes I wish my IF logical brain would STFU!!!!

Anyone else fed up with IF taking away the simple joy of an order from Zappos? Or a trip to the sale rack?

Let it out here, yo.

(I realize this all makes me sound very shallow but I assure you posters and all you lurkers out there that I am a deep and emotional person with many interests and good stories and occasionally great outfits.)

rockpaperlove · May 2012

Shallow or not...I'll bite! I haven't shopped retail (unless for a dying necessity) in aaaaaages because of a looming dark cloud called IF. I have a 30th Birthday dinner to go to for a girlfriend tonight. So, I went this morning and splurged and bought an Anthro top to wear for the occasion! I am already having buyers remorse though...it may go back before it even makes it into the house!

BzeetyD · May 2012

It's such a double edged sword.

I feel tired, in a way, of spending money on a chance to have a baby. On a hope.

But at the same time, all that money we saved, there's nothing I'd rather spend it on. I'd spend twice as much and more if we could get a guarantee.

Roxie5739 · May 2012

Funny you ask, I have this thought a lot. I try to say to myself that I should not buy clothes as I will not fit in them in a few months if IVF works. Then I get bored with life or get a great coupon code for Loft and buy up. I am traveling for work this week so went out and brought 2 pairs of 3/4 pants, 3 new tops and 3 pairs of shoes at DSW.

I just buy what I want now as I am sick of holding off shopping and I am an emotional shopper and only ever online too, maybe that is worse.

solarflare · May 2012

UGH! I hate my clothes right now and I am wearing 4 things over and over that I bought a few months before IVF was to start. I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in over a year. It is torturous. Every bit of money I make goes back to the IVF "chance." Also, what's really bugged me is that we haven't gone to a fun dinner out in so long. This is how we used to have fun and we are in good food mecca (S.F.) but it just got too expensive so we just go out to cheap ethnic foods for our dates. I miss my former life.

But I do really like your idea of filling shopping carts and then just not going back for them - nice one! I am going to have to try that!

I also go "shopping" at the library. I got a ton of fun fiction for my IVF cycle through the online library system where you can order from any library in the area and it gets shipped to your neighborhood library. This felt like shopping but for free! I also binged recently on a deal for 5 massages, but I feel like that was health related so I could justify it.

I miss my material goods, and my spendy cocktails. Thanks for letting me vent! I guess I needed this....aaahhhhh.

BAKERMOMHDS · May 2012

OH..BzeetyD..I could have written this post myself. Long before my DH and I were on this journey we were "savers", "penny pinchers"..drive the same car until the wheels fall off, share a car, take the bus, I'd rather walk 2 miles before I put gas in the car kinda folks. Needless to say the ole' piggy bank is F A T.

We got a refund check from Costco last week..I immediately thought "Cash that baby and put it in the bank, that's one Gonal-F pen!!".

I broke down and bought a pair of new running shoes last week, it was like having an anxiety attack at the footzone! In the end, the sales guy held my hand and walked me out the store with my new brooks GTS 12's while I sobbed. The ENTIRE time I thought, "How selfish of me to spend 100$ on shoes when we've been TTC for 3+ years!!".

8 years ago, I lost 100+ lbs on Weight Watchers and felt GREAT about myself and life. I bought a new wardrobe, enjoyed shopping... and then.. whamo..infertility. I've gained 10lbs back, and I hate shopping.

So now..I wear the same Yoga pants, running t-shirts from past events everyday. Amen for MelleTX who gave me the great tip for the Old Navy Yoga pants cropped... I bought two pair with a gift card (GIFT CARD FROM MY SISTER!!!) and I feel special when I wear..my *new* pants. (how pathetic is that?!?!?).

I look at that big junk of change in the fat piggy bank and think "that would buy a beautiful house on Lake Washington". But in the end..I too..would give up just about anything for a guaranteed..take home baby.

We should start a support group : "Infertiles in need of retail therapy".

Ms H13 · May 2012

Ugh - YES!! It can be hard to justify spending $$ on non-IVF items that aren't absolutely necessary. Seriously, I have a pair of work shoes that I am keeping together with hot glue - for 6 months now Embarrassed

. I do plan to 'splurge' this weekend by buying a new pair, and we are going out to the movies, so yay for that!

jessi1988 · May 2012

Ahh, yes I too need some retail therapy. My favorite store had a sale online, a really nice pair of jeans for $20. I put them in my "shopping cart" and even mentioned buying them to DH, but kept thinking I shouldn't... 3 days later my size was gone. *sigh* we all need a good shopping trip!

AmCheri · May 2012

Ok, I'm not trying to cause trouble, but I must tell you that I just bought a number of "stimming" shirts from Anthropologie. Just sayin. It's a medical expense.

Lferr417 · May 2012

BzeetyD:

= I'm getting retail therapy blue balls!

hahahaha this made my morning

Go shopping at a cheaper place maybe to satisfy the urge and get a little relief- Like a marshalls or a target and get your self a really cute outfit for much less than most places? Tar-get (french pronounciation) has some really cute outfits right now !!

BzeetyD · May 2012

Lferr417:
BzeetyD:

= I'm getting retail therapy blue balls!

hahahaha this made my morning
Go shopping at a cheaper place maybe to satisfy the urge and get a little relief- Like a marshalls or a target and get your self a really cute outfit for much less than most places? Tar-get (french pronounciation) has some really cute outfits right now !!

I've been thinking about hitting some funky thrift stores or something like that. Also I want a pair of red keds and those are pretty cheap anywhere.

Citygirl1015 · May 2012

I'm totally right there with you. I'm usually a big shopper, but haven't been buying anything new because our money was going towards IVF, and ofcourse I'd be pregnant after my first IVF (NOT!) I'm expecting a negative beta today, so I'm already allowing myself some retail therapy coming up.

In fact, I don't think I can handle Mother's Day this year, so I'm already planning on doing some retail therapy that day.

I think we all deserve something pretty, if it will make you feel even a teensy bit better.

BzeetyD · May 2012

Citygirl1015:
I'm totally right there with you. I'm usually a big shopper, but haven't been buying anything new because our money was going towards IVF, and ofcourse I'd be pregnant after my first IVF (NOT!) I'm expecting a negative beta today, so I'm already allowing myself some retail therapy coming up.

In fact, I don't think I can handle Mother's Day this year, so I'm already planning on doing some retail therapy that day.

I think we all deserve something pretty, if it will make you feel even a teensy bit better.

Sorry about expecting a BFN. I've been there. It's hard. (((((((((((Hugs and cute outfits))))))))))))

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