Is your DH as in to this as you are?

notkateanymore · May 2012

Went to the RE this morning and the room was filled with all sorts of couples and women alone. There were the "good" husbands who looked to be supportive, the joking guy who seemed to just be there to make his wife happy, then there were women there alone like me, probably just doing B/W or maybe with a husband who isn't all that involved. My husband was OOT and I was just there for my Surge appt. u/s and b/w. But, it made me think...

Is your DH as invested as you are in having another one?

ETA- I should say that my husband wants another child or two, but if we never can, he would be completely satisfied w/ DD and our little family.

WorkinWeezel · May 2012

Mine definitely is, but he's mister positivity. He can't make all of my b/w and u/s and p/c appointments and really doesn't need to, but he always knows when they are and is always anxious to hear how it went. He *always* thinks that this is the month and it never waivers... meanwhile, I'm miss negativity and always thinking the worst. It's a good balance, I suppose, but I wish he'd be more realistic (again, being miss negativity) because I absolutely hate disappointing him every month. I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about getting a negative tomorrow.

mrsjami · May 2012

Surprisingly yes. He wants 2 more:) Everytime I ask if we're pushing it or is this a sign, he says no. I say surprisingly b/c I was the one that I had to initiate things for DS. I guess now he realizes what a gift he is:)

AprilDrew04 · May 2012

DH wants another child, but I think he is closer to being okay with just one than I will probably ever be. He is willing to go along with whatever I decide, and has been through testing and meds. I think since we have MFI he feels it is all his fault...nothing I say or do can help him with this.

I have a 1st consult with a new RE tomorrow and originally he was supposed to take a 1/2 day off and go with me. Well, he has a make-up field trip that he is supposed to help chaperone, and won't be going. I was really looking forward to spending the time together, especially since it is also my birthday. I understand why he won't be there, but I am not thrilled about it.

I hate doing these things by myself. It makes me feel like I am trying for this alone, even though I know he wants it too.

lillinzlou · May 2012

He hasn't been until recently. He always said, "If it happens bla blah blah." Now that it looks like it's not going to happen, he is starting to freak out a bit. Whenever I talk about being done and moving on, he talks about getting a job with IF coverage or something else we could try. He never used to get mad at me when I would get upset about getting AF. Now, he seems to get more disapointed than I do.

brideonjuly8 · May 2012

WorkinWeezel:
Mine definitely is, but he's mister positivity. He can't make all of my b/w and u/s and p/c appointments and really doesn't need to, but he always knows when they are and is always anxious to hear how it went. He *always* thinks that this is the month and it never waivers... meanwhile, I'm miss negativity and always thinking the worst. It's a good balance, I suppose, but I wish he'd be more realistic (again, being miss negativity) because I absolutely hate disappointing him every month. I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about getting a negative tomorrow.

All of this EXACTLY. I love that he's so positive since I'm so negative, but it's working for us I guess, since we are still getting along great, don't fight, and generally are in this together, still, after 2 years and 2 losses. He's wonderful.

nelli27 · May 2012

WorkinWeezel:
Mine definitely is, but he's mister positivity. He can't make all of my b/w and u/s and p/c appointments and really doesn't need to, but he always knows when they are and is always anxious to hear how it went. He *always* thinks that this is the month and it never waivers... meanwhile, I'm miss negativity and always thinking the worst. It's a good balance, I suppose, but I wish he'd be more realistic (again, being miss negativity) because I absolutely hate disappointing him every month. I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about getting a negative tomorrow.

This is my situation exactly! He gets annoyed with me for always thinking the worst, but it's a coping mechanism for me. Deep down, I am hopeful or I wouldn't be so sad with every BFN.

chitwngal2010 · May 2012

mine wants alot more children but knows with AMA that is not an option, however we are at a crossroads right now, about doing IVF that may be our only shot ar more children and i know how much he wants another but he is stuck on the IVF thing and it sucks for me, 40 is in less then a month and i don't really have time for him to sit around and think about it!

Denae'sTTC · May 2012

He wants another...he is very supportive, and goes to work late on my u/s-b/w days and drives my son to daycare. I'm working right now because I needed my own insurance to have coverage. So this time around is a little different having a toddler and a early morning job...we are hoping for the best...he comes to the major spots. But not my monitoring ones......

amyfelice · May 2012

Actually I feel a little bit like I am doing this for him! I want another, yes but am also scared of having two and would be happy with one, except that I think she deserves a sibling. he is very close with his family and clearly values siblings even more than I do. He doesn't go to my U/S or b/w appts, he came to the initial consultation, he does his part with the semen specimens and then he is very supportive at home, when I am feeling overwhelmed from all the shots, etc. I don't think either of us is prepared to 'go all the way" to IVF financially, the IUI's are covered under my Kaiser plan.

cmosley26 · May 2012

AshB62:

No. He wants another baby, but not like I do. I think he would be perfectly happy as a family of three. He's supportive and goes along with what I want, but his attitude is very "God will bless us when He blesses us." He doesn't feel the same urgency I do.

I also think he's worried about how another loss would affect me.

That's exactly my situation! I have a huge desire! His desire is to see my wants fulfilled and to see a prophecy come to light. (we were prophecied over a while back at church by a guest speaker that we would have a son)...i truly believe this...but i've also dealt with 2 mc since. DH also hates the thought of taking meds because he wants to have complete trust in God. It's a very sensitive subject. But yes, he would be fine with the little family of 3 that we have now.

Hnysckl426 · May 2012

DH wants another but would be happy with just DD, so I don't think he wants it as badly as I do. But at one point I was one and done and he definitely wanted another one.

I think he partly wants another one so he can have one "like" him. DD is me through and through - my EXACT personality (right down to my facial BLOCKED EXPRESSION and I think sometimes that is more than DH bargained for, ha ha!

ChiTown Bridget · May 2012

WorkinWeezel:
Mine definitely is, but he's mister positivity. He can't make all of my b/w and u/s and p/c appointments and really doesn't need to, but he always knows when they are and is always anxious to hear how it went. He *always* thinks that this is the month and it never waivers... meanwhile, I'm miss negativity and always thinking the worst. It's a good balance, I suppose, but I wish he'd be more realistic (again, being miss negativity) because I absolutely hate disappointing him every month. I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about getting a negative tomorrow.

You just described my husband and I! I am a total negative nelly where is he very upbeat and positive.

SigmundsGirl · May 2012

DH and I have the same level of commitment, but I don't involve him in every technical aspect. I explain only what I think he needs to know. This way I feel a little more in control and a little less watched.

When we were trying for baby#1, I hated having my MIL ask every month whether I was pregnant; especially when we were undergoing treatment and I got a BFN. DH quickly put a stop to that.

DH and I discussed this many times and we are on the same page about what treatment we want to do and when we will call it quits and accept a family of three. He is very supportive, but doesn't come to all appointments and I like it that way.

WorkinWeezel · May 2012

LeahB12:
My DH wants another baby and is willing to do a lot to get one, but I don't quite think he understands the toll it takes on me. He doesn't come to appointments because of work, unless it's for a consultation. He is so sure that we'll have another and doesn't think much about what will happen if we can't. I appreciate him being so positive, but sometimes it makes me feel alone. He tries to be supportive but since all of this is happening to my body, I don't think he always gets it.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cooperme2871 · May 2012

No, DH did not even want me to start on clomid. He was happy just trying and seeing what happens. While he does want another child, he would be perfectly content with our family of three.

followthesun · May 2012

My DH wants another baby, and is always supportive of whatever we need to do to make it happen, but while I ooh and ahh over cute baby things in the store and what it would be like to have another, he tends to shy away from that kind of thing. He says he doesn't like to think about it too much until if/when it happens, because it would be so disappointing if it doesn't.

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