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Blended Families
hterry85
member
Update from mediation today
hterry85
member
Nothing overly exciting. Nothing got accomplished. Basically BM wants more time to think over everything (there were changes added she didn't see until today) so they're going to send they're proposals to DH/our lawyer within two weeks and then they will schedule to meet again.
They're trying to insist that DH hand over his copy of SS birth certificate and ssc. Apparently BM never got new copies after SS last name was changed when he was 7 months old. She won't get her own because they don't want multiple copies floating around, and you can only get so many copies of SSC and BM doesn't want to use one of those up for a duplicate. Um, too bad.
CS was also brought up, and BM is lying through her teeth about her income. She said she makes 12k a year working part time at the local fitness center. The last time CS was reviewed (almost two years ago) she was making almost 14 at the same place. SS said several months ago she started working at the bank and was working both jobs, now he says she only works at the bank (she also sells scentsy, but I doubt she makes much on that) When BMs lawyer sent out the list of stuff they wanted to go over it was literally a photo copy of what they wrote up in the office and it lists her employment as a teller as the same bank SS says she works at. Her "only" making 12k is also now her reason she can't afford to split transportation. She has also backed off the early pick up time on Friday's because she doesn't want me to pick SS up from school, her DH does it instead...hmm...
DHs lawyer said (after) that if she does fight CS he will request to have is based on her working full time (assuming she isn't lying about working full time already) since both of her kids are in school now.
Here's the big thing: At the next meeting (between DH and his lawyer) they're discussing going for primary care if we have to take all of this to court anway. It would be a long shot, but with the crap she's pulled with the school, and all around pursposely being a pain in the rear, he thinks we may at least have enough for a shot at it. My hope is at the very least it would scare BM into getting her act together and actually agree to some of this.
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Re: Update from mediation today
Doesn't she have to show pay check stubs to prove how much money she makes, or tax return copies?
I am not trying to be rude, but all of this seems a little petty to me. You want to get primary custody because BM is a pain in the butt?
I'm pretty sure the job change was this year, so last years tax returns would only show the old job. But I'm alost sure from last time they only use tax returns if yoy can show through your current pay stubs that your income varies signficantly.
My personal theory is that she is actually working full time (plus selling the scentsy) and she's bluffing so that we won't request a review and CS could end up going down.
A general pain in the butt was obviously a blanket statement for all kinds of things. This is the BM that has SS school only teaching him to write her (maiden) last name when SS last name is hyphonated, actually tries to keep DH from getting school info (not just doesn't share it) The school goes along with whatever she tells them to do regardless of the joint custody, which would be the big part of the arguement, that he should go to school in our larger district where they may be more "friendly" toward blended families. There have been other things like refusing to meet at the police station, even when the cops call her and tell her to come get him...she THINKS she has all the control.
But like tif said, I really don't think it would be ENOUGH for us to get it, but maybe having a bit of a case against her would scare her into getting her act together and actually coparenting a bit.
I don't understand how she can lie about her income. The court can require her to show tax returns and pay checks. If she excludes her income and you find out she would be in a lot of trouble.
I'm not sure that the court would accept the full time thing. If the kids get out of school at 3 they need someone to take care of them afterschool, right? Also they probably need someone to take them/get them ready in the mornings? That alone I would think would be reason for her to not work full days.
She does sound petty. Why would you fight over ssc and bc? That is ridiculous. Go down to the dang gov office and get a copy for $10 bucks. Done. Sheesh.
Somebody can totally lie about their income. There are tons of ways this can happen and does happen all the time.
Well at the very minimum you get get the 2011 tax return with numbers that are 4 months old. And then get it again next year to review.