Waiting until 2nd trimester to tell?

MamaT83 · May 2012

I know they always say wait 12 weeks before announcing to make sure everything goes okay. I am 6w4d and we are telling our parents in the next two weeks. If I wait until 12 weeks to tell my stepkids, it will be in the middle of the summer, and my stepkids will be spending half of it with their mom. We would like them to have time to absorb the information before they leave for half the summer, so we are leaning towards telling them at closer to 10 weeks. However, if we tell them, then we will need to go ahead and make it public rather than expecting them to keep it a secret.

Has anybody else gone public earlier than 12 weeks?

WaitingOnTwoPinkLines · May 2012

We are waiting, for the most part. Our parents & best friends know, but that's it. We aren't telling SD until after the NT scan at 12 weeks, because we want to make sure everything is OK. I don't want to have to un-tell her.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · May 2012

With my first, we went public within days of the BFP.

With my second pregnancy, we told our families and closest friends at about 6 weeks. By the time I miscarried at 11.5 weeks, most everyone that I saw on a routine basis already knew, but I never announced it on facebook.

This time will be similar to the second pregnancy. We haven't told our families yet, though probably will this weekend or so, maybe next. I will not tell my DS until I absolutely have to, probably not until I start to show or have to make sure he doesn't jump on my belly.

As for your stepchildren, you have to do what you feel is right for them, only you can make that decision.

Our philosophy is that we will need the support of our closest friends and family if we have a loss, so we are better off allowing them to share in our joy as well rather than having to tell them later.

fantine31 · May 2012

For our 1st pregnancy, we told everyone very early and ended up miscarrying. I will not make this mistake again. I have told close family and friends this time bc they are the ones i turn to during difficult times, but will not be making in facebook announcements or anything until 2nd tri.

Danyell0178 · May 2012

we have. was not my choice at first the daddy to be is so excited now im ok with people knowing and if something goes wrong id prob want their shoulder to cry on

jr02yc · May 2012

I think it's totally personal. We were going to wait to tell any friends until 12 weeks, but a few have found out (surprise, I'm not drinking...dead giveaway!) and we've told a few others. Nothing 'public' in terms of FB or anything until 12 weeks, or at least after we've been to the midwife at 10 weeks.

We realized that the friends we wanted to tell, were the people who would know and support us if *knock on wood* anything happens, and we were too excited not to share with the closest friends and immediate family. It's our first pregnancy, and first grandkid on my side, so it would've been impossible not to share the news for so long.

Really, it seems that we all hold it tight 'in case', so only tell those that you feel would be supportive if you happen to miscarry...if you don't think you'd be comfortable telling them bad news, probably a good idea to wait. As for your step-kids, same thing really...how would they handle sad news *knocking on wood like crazy*, and how will they feel generally? Maybe it will be hard for them to leave knowing you're growing a sibling :-)

hmontty · May 2012

Parents and very close friends (a handful) know. Bascially, we tell the people we don't mind having to untell should we need to. Will wait until second tri to go public.

DD is only 13 months, so once my belly really starts getting big, I will start talking to her about it.

landosmommy · May 2012

We went public with pregnancy #1 pretty much right away. With this one we are waiting until first appointment at 8 weeks to tell family. Then waiting until 13 weeks to tell everyone.

Mason&Mama · May 2012

I told people in phases with number one. My immediate family knew right away (4 weeks!). SO's family got the news on Thanksgiving (about 7 weeks). I told a few close friends and coworkers over the next few weeks. It was hard to explain why I wasn't having any wine a any holiday events. My extended family and then the rest of the world via FB found out n Christmas Eve (about 10 weeks). This time, we aren't telling anyone for a long time. Until I am showing probably.

kbow213 · May 2012

This is our first and we are going to announce to our parents and my brother on Mother's Day, which will be a couple days shy of 8 weeks for me. I have only told one friend, which was a couple days ago. I likely won't go public or tell anyone else for a little while. We don't have FB so I don't have that dilemma, but I do email back and forth with my aunts so I will send out a mass email when it's time.

bearkatjen · May 2012

Our parents know, and I'm going to share the news with my BFF soon, but we are waiting until 2nd Tri to go public. My reason for waiting is work related.

lindsayanne14 · May 2012

We told parents/siblings withing days of the BFP. We are waiting until after our 1st appointment at 9.5 weeks to tell some extended family. The rest of the world will have to wait until the begining of the 2nd trimester.

As far as you telling your stepkids...I think if and when you tell them, you should expect the news to go public. Depending on their ages, it may be difficult for them to keep it to themselves.

MamaT83 · May 2012

Thanks for the replies, I knew I would want to tell my family because IF something does happen, they are the ones I will lean on. I am still iffy about telling stepkids though. I guess I need to consider how they would handle it if something were to happen. I suppose I will think on it a bit longer and see how I feel after my 10w appt?

starfish717 · May 2012

Based on other replies, I am an oddball! The only people who know right now are me, my DH, and my gyno. I have a very close relationship with my mom but I really want to wait until at least after we have our first ultrasound before we start sharing the news - I am just too afraid to jinx it, and it still seems surreal to finally be pregnant. I totally understand why people tell immediate family and close friends earlier, but we are waiting for at least a couple of weeks more. My DH and I kind of like having our little secret for now

)

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