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Therapy back on. For now.

+j+k++j+k+
in Blended Families

DH says he wants to go.  I'm giving this one more shot.  If he backs out again, I'm serving papers.  I have officially done all I am willing to do and exhausted all options and opportunities beyond what is acceptable.

I'm done.  I'm getting of this f*cking ride.

As far as CS - lawyer says I can't waive it. The court will ask for at least $300 from him. Reason is, they don't want the prime custodial parent using it as a leveraging tool - exactly as I am doing. At least I can say Iowa tries to be fair in that regard.  I can demand that he keep her in Iowa though and not take her to Texas, which I will.  I'll fight like hell for that. 

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Re: Therapy back on. For now.

  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    So you will stay in therapy with DH but also move forward with divorce stuff with your lawyer?  Do you even want to give it one more shot? TBH you sound like youve checked out.
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  • honeybee #1honeybee #1
    imageCurlyQ284:
    So you will stay in therapy with DH but also move forward with divorce stuff with your lawyer?  Do you even want to give it one more shot? TBH you sound like youve checked out.
    I've gotta say this sounds right. It seems like you decided you were done when he told you that he wanted to forget all about everything and start over. If that's the case, I would say don't waste either of your time.
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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    image+j+k+:

    DH says he wants to go.  I'm giving this one more shot.  If he backs out again, I'm serving papers.  I have officially done all I am willing to do and exhausted all options and opportunities beyond what is acceptable.

    I'm done.  I'm getting of this f*cking ride.

    As far as CS - lawyer says I can't waive it. The court will ask for at least $300 from him. Reason is, they don't want the prime custodial parent using it as a leveraging tool - exactly as I am doing. At least I can say Iowa tries to be fair in that regard.  I can demand that he keep her in Iowa though and not take her to Texas, which I will.  I'll fight like hell for that. 

    If you're done forget counselling, you're only going to waste money and drive yourself crazy trying to convince the counsellor you're right and he's wrong.

    If you want to give it another go then go with an open mind, with an intention to move forward, and a willingness to stick at it for at least 6 months.

    The next therapy session will make absolutely no difference to your situation unless he/she's a magician.  It takes time and effort on both parts.

    Why is DH now willing to go?  Does he think he needs help or is he trying to pacify you?

     

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  • RealFloF9RealFloF9

    I agree with OP.  If you've truly decided to move forward then I wouldn't go to therapy. 

    I honestly believe he KNOWS you've reached the end.  Don't keep giving in - you know he'll only pacify you.

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  • MarSamWhitneyMarSamWhitney member
    Yeah, I would throw the towel in at this point.


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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member

    You need to be done.  Completely done.  No more chances. 

    You can go to a therapist to help facilitate an optimal co parenting arrangement.  That's the only issue that should be discussed at this point.

    Anything other than you walking away from this mess is him attempting to manipulate you again and you falling for it.  Don't do this for your DD sake. 

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  • sprky79sprky79 member

    Outside of straight up violence or infidelity I will never tell someone to leave their marriage.  However, I'm told that you leave when you have tried everything in your power and you are just done.  You are not angry, you are not upset, you are just done.  When you get there, leave. 

    I truly hope for the best for you in this world. 

    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    imagesprky79:

    Outside of straight up violence or infidelity I will never tell someone to leave their marriage.  However, I'm told that you leave when you have tried everything in your power and you are just done.  You are not angry, you are not upset, you are just done.  When you get there, leave. 

    I truly hope for the best for you in this world. 

    I personally don't feel that J+K is there yet.  thats why I say give it 6 months of counselling with an open mind.  then decide.

    However I truly feel that J+K will have to be open to chang herself and not focused on her DH.

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  • sprky79sprky79 member
    imagePhantomgirl:
    imagesprky79:

    Outside of straight up violence or infidelity I will never tell someone to leave their marriage.  However, I'm told that you leave when you have tried everything in your power and you are just done.  You are not angry, you are not upset, you are just done.  When you get there, leave. 

    I truly hope for the best for you in this world. 

    I personally don't feel that J+K is there yet.  thats why I say give it 6 months of counselling with an open mind.  then decide.

    However I truly feel that J+K will have to be open to chang herself and not focused on her DH.

    Word.

    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
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  • +j+k++j+k+
    Agreed. I'm focussing on me as well. Loooooots of internal reflection going on. Trust me. 
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