Two Under 2

XP: Need advice re: trying for another one so soon

Hi Ladies,

 

I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter who was the product of an IUI. My husband and I TTC for over two years on our own before with no luck. I am turning 39 next month and my insurance will only cover fertility treatments while I am "under 40". So we have to decide in the next couple of months whether to move forward. I have so many mixed emotions....can we handle this financially? am I OK with LO being an only child? can our marriage survive two under two? etc.

 

Any advice or other things to consider would be greatly appreciated!

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Re: XP: Need advice re: trying for another one so soon

  • We did it, and we survived, but everyone is different. IF I was you I would go for it because I never wanted to have an only child, but that was VERY important to us. The infant stage only lasts so long, I don't know of anyone who died because they had 2 under 2.... I know many sleep deprived people, but in time that will pass!  I always look at the bigger picture, but DH and I were on board with our big family and if we don't agree on anything else, we agree on our kids.
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  • I would take out the toughness of the first year out of your head. The important thing to consider is what you want your family to look like in 5,10,20 years down the road. If you're happy with an only, that's wonderful! It's a fine decision. If you want another child there for your whole family, then I would ttc as soon as possible to get fertility coverage. Yes, having 2 will be harder in the first year than only having one. There will be sleep deprivation (lots of it!) It doesn't last forever though, and sadly that phase goes by far too quickly the second time around.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide!

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  • Daisy22Daisy22 member
    My boys are 15 mths apart. It was hard being pg with a baby at home and hte first 5-6 months were hard BUT I would not change it for anything. My boys love each other so much. They are the best of friends and I couldn't imagine life any other way. We survived, our marriage is great and we're having a 3rd now.
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  • Daisy22Daisy22 member
    imageKC_13:

    I would take out the toughness of the first year out of your head. The important thing to consider is what you want your family to look like in 5,10,20 years down the road. If you're happy with an only, that's wonderful! It's a fine decision. If you want another child there for your whole family, then I would ttc as soon as possible to get fertility coverage. Yes, having 2 will be harder in the first year than only having one. There will be sleep deprivation (lots of it!) It doesn't last forever though, and sadly that phase goes by far too quickly the second time around.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide!

    Totally agree with this

    BFP 12/23/07, M/C 1/25/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imageKC_13:

    I would take out the toughness of the first year out of your head. The important thing to consider is what you want your family to look like in 5,10,20 years down the road. If you're happy with an only, that's wonderful! It's a fine decision. If you want another child there for your whole family, then I would ttc as soon as possible to get fertility coverage. Yes, having 2 will be harder in the first year than only having one. There will be sleep deprivation (lots of it!) It doesn't last forever though, and sadly that phase goes by far too quickly the second time around.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide!

    ITA with everything KC said. For me, the hardest time of 2u2 was when #2 was between three and six months old - a very short period of time in the scheme of things. Honestly being pg with a kid to take care of was the hardest part of all. It was all well worth it for DH and me. (Obviously, since we're doing 3u3 now!)

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