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Baby Showers
ozarka020
member
Dad's Diaper Party?
ozarka020
member
in Baby Showers
Hello ladies, I need some advice on the etiquette of a dad-to-be's "diaper party." They've kind of been mentioned in passing to my husband and now he's tossing around the idea of having one.
My question is, are these seen as a male equivalent of baby showers, in which someone else, other than the dad-to-be, hosts the party? Would it be tacky of my husband to host a poker game with his friends, mention the diaper idea, and hope they catch on? He's hosted poker nights in the past, and has a regular group of friends he plays with. He's just not sure how to approach the possibility of turning a poker night into a diaper party, or if trying to have one is even a good idea......
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dad's Diaper Party?
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
This, if you insist on having one. Personally, I think they are tacky.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Can I ask why they're particularly tacky in your mind? I'd never heard of them before this thread but it sounds just like a guy version of a shower.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I also think they're tacky because you're hosting a party and telling people they have to bring a specific gift to attend. If someone shows up without diapers, what are you going to do? Not let them play? That's awkward and rude.
If your DH wants a poker night, great. Just don't mention anything about gifts. People who want to give you gifts will do so without prompting or weird poker antes.
It seems like there are ever more ways to extract gifts - bring a book instead of a card! Bring this specific gift! And now, the husbands/dads-to-be being an untapped source, is getting tapped. Enough already.
I think they're tacky because I don't know any man who wants to bring another man diapers (plus everything above about giving specific gifts....it falls under the same category of the MTB asking shower guests to bring diapers to be in a raffle...lame). However, I agree with the bolded part above. Its totes cool for the men to have their own little shindig, but it should be a regular guys night, no diapers involved.
Yeah I agree with all of this quoted above. My DH's friends would totally side-eye an invitation to a diaper party for him. Their wives will already be coming to my shower and bringing a gift, the husbands don't have to do the same. I just think the whole idea is weird, I've never heard of it before. If he wants to have a poker night as like a last night without a baby thing, that's cool, but skip the mention of any gifts.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yes...it is like a shower...the FTB does not host his own. Usually one of the guys will say..."Hey...lets take ?? out for a guys night out before he's a Dad. Bring a pack of diapers since he'll be using a lot of those soon." Or something along those lines. Never has my DH gotten an actual paper (or internet) invite. Just a word of mouth type of thing and it is just a few friends. Maybe one of our DH's poker buddies will mention it to the other guys.
My DH has been invited to go to the bar, a restaurant, watch sports, a BBQ while the women are at the shower...but there were never any diapers involved and each guy paid for their own stuff (except at the FTB's home when it was a BBQ or watching sports - he'd order a pizza and have beer).
This. What's next? Sibling showers? (Although for some horrifying reason, I have a feeling this has probably already been done or contemplated by some).
Someone on the bump did this. I can't remember who or what board but someone wanted a reason to "celebrate the new baby!" so they threw a "shower" for the big sister to be.
It was cray cray.
It has been done. Or my favorite...the big sibling hosts the shower for the new sibling. Names on the invite and everything.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
My husband's friends and family have all decided that while the women are at the shower, they are having a Dad-chelor party. My husband just wanted to have some beers with the guys since they won't be at the shower but now it has turned into a mini-party for him too. Wouldn't expect anyone to bring gifts to his and there has been nobody saying there should be, especially since my aunt is hosting my shower and they all know it, but I know a couple men who have already decided they will bring diapers. I think it's because they are all dads and just want to help and celebrate just as much as the women.
Wow. I know shouldn't be surprised but...just...wow.
merely my personal opinion:
i've never had a diaper party-- this is first pregg
==in reguards to being 'tacky', i think the idea of a 'daddy diaper' party is being missed here, it is not about 'getting gifts' or accumulating diapers. It is about giving dad a time pre-baby with his friends. allowing them to do 'guy stuff'/hang out/sports/poker whatever they love doing together.
[my husband, personally doesn't want to be involved with the 'baby shower' he jokes "what am i going to do 'ohhh, what a sweet little outfit' (said in high-pitched voice)". and i get it, this is a traditionally female event, and although i'm not a traditional person, i think i'll like having just all the girls together]
== also, the 'trade-off', if you will, bring a pack of diapers and enjoy food and drinks on me? i mean, diapers, yes when added up over years are expensive-- but come on... pamper's cruiser-$16 bucks online @ walmart plus if you take the time to clip a coupon even cheaper than that.
--A guy could easily spend $16 on his own dinner and drinks if the guys went out... so, if you are planning on providing food/drinks i.e.'BBQ and Beer', i mean come on... not tacky, just a party.
This. And I think it really depends on your social circle. Some areas might find it tacky, but in our area, all of our neighbors and DH's close friends have asked numerous times if he will be doing one. All of the neighbor guys have kids and the younger ones all had diaper parties. It's more unacceptable to not have one in our area.
I think it's a fun way for the FTB and all his guy friends to get together and drink to celebrate him becoming a father. Same reason why the MTB has a baby shower. And the reason it isn't considered "gift-grabby" in our social circle is because the FTB typically buys a keg and the food, so bringing the diapers is to help the parents stock up and is also considered the entry fee since a keg is so expensive.
And we are adding fun games for the guys with prizes involved, so there is something in it for them other than free beer and food.
I agree with all of this. If you go out the the bar or an event, that is a little different in coordinating who pays for what. But in most cases (well the ones that I have heard about), the party takes place at the FTB's house or a close friend's place, and the DH provides a keg of beer and food for everyone. It really depends on how many guys would be coming to the party and how much they drink, A keg is close to $200 dollars, so asking that they bring a $16 pack of diapers isn't rude if you consider how much they would be drinking.
You're having a gift-giving event and then specifying the gift. If the expectant father is the host, well, even worse since he's asking everyone to buy him something. So, yeah, as far as traditional rules of etiquette go, it's a non-starter.
But, as with a lot of things on this board, if it's common in your social circle or your family, the people that would participate in the event are generally not going to be giving you the side-eye for breaching traditional etiquette rules.
If you have to come here to ask how to go about doing it or wording the invite or whatever, it's (obviously) not common in your social circle / family and there will likely be people who will side-eye the hell out of you for it.
But as always, your gut is a pretty good tool also - if it makes you feel uncomfortable, go with that.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/68635382.aspx
2nd Tri is loving the idea of a diaper shower
This is ridiculous! If you don't want to pay to host a party, don't have it. If you want to have a party, have a party, but don't expect people to pay for their plate with gifts. Save your money and get your own diapers. The idea that I'm paying for you to drink a lot so really, your saving money by only having to bring me diapers, is disgusting.
Agree!!!!