Success after IF

am I a bad mom? Major mommy guilt today...

my daughter broke her arm yesterday afternoon at daycare.  The ER Dr put on a temp cast and made her an appt to see an ortho this morning.  I am at work right now and not with her and feeling horrible about it!  She is with my husband though...but I really want to be there for her.  I am taking over for someone who quit and this is her last week and my only time to learn her job and I have lots of meetings.  So my DH said I should come in so I don't get in trouble and he would take off.  But I can't help feeling horrible now that I am here and like I am a bad mom!  :(  :(
Daughter born July 2008; Daughter born March 2010 Son born August 2011

Re: am I a bad mom? Major mommy guilt today...

  • For the fact that your DH is with her, no, you're not a bad mom!  I mean - even if she wasn't w/ your DH... sometimes "life" gets in the way.  But really.... daddy is there.  Thta's good!
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • You're not a bad mom. But I completely understand. E broke her arm at daycare last summer at 25 months -- compound fracture of the humerus. She had to be out of daycare for a week after the surgery, so DH and I split up the days we took off. I hated being away from her, but she was just fine with DH.

    The whole experience was more traumatic for us than for E. She adjusted so quickly and even though she was in two different casts for 5 weeks, she took it like a champ. Hang in there!

    After 20 months, 3 Clomid cycles and 4 IUI cycles, IVF #1 with ICSI = BFP!
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  • You're not a bad mom. I actually think you staying at work right now is the responsible thing to do for your family. I understand how hard it must be for you not to run to her side, but she's lucky she has two parents so one can be there when the other one can't. Look at it this way: next time she needs someone, it'll be your turn to be there.
  • of course you aren't a bad mom!   It sounds like you and your DH are doing exactly what needs to be done to take care of her right now.   You being there at work, doing your job well and protecting your job IS taking care of her.   It is important.    And it isn't like you sent her with a stranger to the doctor - she is with her Dad.   They will be fine!    I totally understand WANTING to be there - because she is your baby and when she is hurting, you are hurting, and it is hard for your head or heart to be anywhere else.    But making the choice to have Dad by her side instead actually makes you a great mom - because you guys are making the responsible choice that is best for her and for you.   

    But I am sure it is really, really hard on you not to be there.   Just don't add guilt to the mix and make it worse!   There's no reason.    (((HUGS)))

    Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation.
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  • Consider this good bonding time with DH!  Their relationship will continue to grow b/c of moments like this.  Hang in there, you are doing what you need to do!
  • No, you're not a bad mom!  What's important is that someone who loves and cares for her is with her and you will be with her later, correct?  I know you want to be there with her but she's in good hands and so concentrate on your work and then rush home and give her big hugs.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

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  • You are not a bad momma! Not at all. She is with her Daddy and well taken care of. 

     

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  • CHI-06CHI-06 member

    imageMrsLee04:
    If you're a bad mom so am I. My DH gets way more PTO than I do so he stays home when they are sick and takes them to most Dr appts.

    sick is different though... breaking a bone and going to a specialist to have it potentially reset and cast....that is much harder for me to be away. 

    Daughter born July 2008; Daughter born March 2010 Son born August 2011
  • no way are you a bad mom. it's part of the life of a working mama that sometimes you need to take care of your work--and remember that doing a good job with your work benefits your family in the long run.

    hope your little girl heals quickly! 

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  • MAK06MAK06 member

    You are NOT a bad Mom!! I had a similar situation and I felt like crap going to work! Wanted to be there so bad. But she was with your DH so you should'nt feel guilty! Normal to want to be there but I think you made the best decision! 


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    IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13 imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • That's great that your husband is so supportive. I hope your LO heals quickly and you get through your day as fast as you can. Hang in there!
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