Anxious, Nervous, and a Little Scared... (Intro Post) — The Bump
Military Families

Anxious, Nervous, and a Little Scared... (Intro Post)

Hi all.

I'm not really sure where to begin, so I guess I will just start. My fiance and I have been together for almost two years, have been engaged for three months and will be getting married in May (yikes!). We suffered the loss of our first baby in March and it has been an ongoing, lengthy process to return to normal. Anyway, he leaves for Basic in a couple months. His father was career military, so it is the only life he has every known, but it is a life I have never known. I am so anxious about what to expect. I'm not even sure if I am in the right place. I am hoping to get a little insight from all of you.

I am so incredibly proud of the things he has accomplished and am excited for our future together. I just wish I new what that future was going to entail.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate any words of wisdom I can get. :o)

 B 

Re: Anxious, Nervous, and a Little Scared... (Intro Post)

  • Hi and welcome,

    First of all, let me say I'm sorry for your loss. 

    I'm kinda new here too. My H is AD Navy and we just got married in June.

    From my personal experience, the military has given our family and my husband more pros than cons. Sometimes you'll be nervous or frustrated but I promise it weighs itself out. I guess my advice would be expect it to be unexpected. 

    Hang in there! 

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  • First, congrats on the upcoming wedding! :) And, I am so sorry for your loss. 

    My hubby is also Navy, and we've been married for roughly 2 years. He was in for 5 years before we got married, so the lifestyle was pretty familiar to him as well (tho, not the same as yours!)

    Just like everything else, it has it's pros and cons.... one HUGE pro for us, has been the help with paying for college tuition. If you are planning on going or are going, I would look into the MyCAA scholarship :)  They also pay the majority of my hubby's tuition, which will help once he decides to get out and use the degree he's going for. Another positive is the financial security... the guaranteed job and paycheck are what will be allowing me to stay home with our baby once he or she is born. Since my husband (thankfully) hasn't been deployed since we've been together, the hardest thing for me was leaving all my friends and family and moving across the country. It's hard to only get to go home and see them once or twice a year now. And finding a job and making new friends was another adjustment for me. It's hard when you get stationed in an area you don't like, because you can't move to somewhere that you do. But, you just remember that it's temporary, and it'll all work out. 

    I'm definitely not an expert, and hopefully there will be a military wife who can answer all of your questions,  but I hope this helped a little :)

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  • Hello! welcome to the Military life! i am so sorry for your loss and i cant even imagine what your going though...

    Congrats on the wedding! My anniversary is in May as well! The 28th!

    I know that being part of the military can be very hard for some spouses to deal with. Its never an easy cake walk, and the benefits can outweigh the costs if you can make it through the hard times!

    My hubby has been AD in the Navy for 12 years, we have been together 8 and married 6. And I have a few words of advice for you that will make it easier on you both, take them for what they are or not?

    1.       Never argue (if you can help it) while he is away. It only makes it harder to be apart, save it for after he is home again. (also you will make him feel like he has the most understanding wife ever, this is important and much needed when they are deployed. Having a good support system)

    2.       Working hours suck sometimes. (My hubby is working 16 hours a day 6 days a week right now. I NEVER see him.) Its never his fault, so don?t get mad at him if he has to stay late, just be supportive, and understanding. He wants to be home with you too?.

    3.       Take it one day at a time, don?t worry so much about the next 5 or 10 or 20 years, just focus on today and making it great, or just getting through it. This will also help with deployments? It?s hard to look at how much time is still left, but easier to see only a few more hours in today? :o)

    4.       The military life is very ?selfish?, you will always be #2 in everything. Not by choice, but by necessity. The military does not care about anything that has to do with you, only that your hubby is here or there on time. And whatever you had planned or wanted or expected, can very often be pushed of or cancelled all together.

    5.       Always do your research! About everything from moves to neighborhoods, to medical to schools? Never trust what one person or another tells you, take the classes, ask the questions, and always be willing to look around on your own. Make sure you take care of you and yours, cause no one else will?

    There are some very great support groups out there, and military spouses will understand your frustration the best, so lean on them when you need to, and just try t pick your battles very wisely! :o)

     

    Welcome to this exclusive club! You will do great, and you will discover how strong you are, and how independent you can be!

    Good Luck!

    And feel free to Private Message me any time!

     


    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

    Baby Dust To All!!!

  • Thank you so much girls! I truly appreciate the words of wisdom. I look forward to talking with you all more! :o)

     

  • Welcome from a fellow newbie. I am also a military wife of 5 years. My husband  was Navy for 8 years before I met him, was discharged and opened his own business. Once the market he worked in tanked he asked me if he could re-enlist. I agreed but was sooooo nervous. Like you, I had no idea what to expect and knew that I just needed to support him, because he was supporting us. Over the past 5 years I have learned that my husband is not just in the military, our whole family is. We have plans that have had to be changed, vacations that are changed, etc. The biggest thing that I had to realize is Flexibility!!!!! I also became part of our bases FRG. I have found that the other wives are wonderful resources, sounding boards and I enjoy helping the families on base.

     Good luck and let us know if you need anything!!!

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  • Hi and welcome.  I am so sorry for your loss. 

    There is a sticky thread at the top of this page.  Check it out.  There is a lot of information there.  There is also a link in my siggy that will lead you to the Military Nesties FAQ page.  There is more information there.  Please feel free to lurk on both boards.  You will get a feel of what this life is.  Also, ask questions when you have them.  We were all the new chick at some point.  If the FAQ pages don't answer your question, odds are, some one around here has expirienced what ever you are going through. 

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  • Hi MrsCisco! I'm a newbie too, and I lost a baby as well, so we can be pals. I know it doesn't mean much now, but the hurt does fade, and you will feel better.

    As for the military, I have no idea what I'm doing too! Yay for us newbies!

    Feel free to come say hi if you feel compelled:

    idreamloudly.com

  • Hi Rowan! Yay for newbie pals! Hope things are going well for you! Great blog (despite the remodel Smile ) I look forward to having someone to talk things over with!

    B

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