Need advice!!

preggyamy · May 2012

Hi Ladies,

I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter who was the product of an IUI. My husband and I TTC for over two years on our own before with no luck. I am turning 39 next month and my insurance will only cover fertility treatments while I am "under 40". So we have to decide in the next couple of months whether to move forward. I have so many mixed emotions....can we handle this financially? am I OK with LO being an only child? can our marriage survive two under two? etc.

Any advice or other things to consider would be greatly appreciated!

BrideBuddies · May 2012

My mantra has always been... There will never be enough money/time/energy/patience, etc.

Is your family "complete" with one child? Will you regret not trying for a second? Are there other options other than IUI via your current insurance? If you can answer those questions, then you will have your answer.

mwd · May 2012

Bummer that your insurance will only cover fertility treatments for under 40. We had 2 at 2 (DS was 2 years 12 days when DD was born), and that was hard. But I am so happy we went for it!

UpNorthGal · May 2012

We were in our late 30s/early 40s when we finally got PG with DS (after 2yrs trying & 1 m/c) so we figured we'd better start trying for #2 right away. We got PG with DD when DS was 6mos and they are 16.5 mos apart.

2u2 was difficult at first due to the logistics, but we were still sleep deprived form DS, so a newborn wasn't a big change, LOL. It will be tough for the first year or so, but like anything, you figure it out and adapt. You can do it.

As PPs have said, if you feel your family is incomplete, go for it! Good luck with your decision.

jlw2505 · May 2012

As others have said, there will never be enough time, money, etc. If you want 2 kids, than have 2 kids (or at least try for 2. As far as the 2 under 2, mine are 21 months apart and what everyone told me and I 100% agree is that the 1st year is hard - really hard but by 18 months, life gets so much easier. Honestly, each month that the baby gets older and more able to do things, the easier it is. I found the first 3 months with my 2nd to be really, really hard but once we hit 6 months, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and now my girls are 4 and almost 6 and I love how close they are, that they share so many interests and are in a close enough stage in most things that I don't feel like I am dragging one kid to do something just because their sib wants to do it. I would have my girls this close again or even a little closer (18 months or so would be as close as I would get) if I had to do it over again. WE had decided to try for #1 right after DD#1 1st b-day and got a BFP right away.

stever · May 2012

If you want another and feel you can manage financially and emotionally then I say go for it.

Maggee206 · May 2012

Ditto. Good luck and try, though it will be tough, to not focus to much on an expiration date. (Easier said than done I know.) BTW check insurance to see if starting the process under 40 is what is needed (it is worth a look at least).

greengirl0909 · May 2012

MAN! That insurance thing surely made your clock tick louder, eh? For me, my family would not be complete with 1. If I were in your shoes I'd talk with DH about how important another child would be for me and ask him to tough out the first year with me. You can get through a year and be okay. GL with your decision!

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