Out of the mouths of babes

Phantomgirl · April 2012

On Saturday afternoon SS was watching TV and I came and sat beside him. He looked at me and asks ' hey did I even get a hug from you today?' which totally made me laugh as that is what I always say to him.

Anyhow I give him a huge hug and I say ' did I ever tell you I love you?' He replies 'yea'. I say ' did i ever tell you how truly grateful I am to have you in my life?'

SS pulls back and replies 'Yea you always tell me but you don't really act like it'

:::stunned silence:::

I finally say 'tell me why you feel that way?'. SS explains that he feels that when he is with me I am always busy cleaning house, grocery shopping or heading off for walks with the dogs or runs with my friends. He wishes I would spend more one on one time with him.

Lesson learned. My weekends are hectic as I work Mon - Fri and I try to get caught up on everything at the weekends. I guess a clean house is not whats important to a child.

While he literally stopped me in my tracks I am delighted he can be that open and honest with me.

blush64 · April 2012

That says a lot about you as a person and step-mom. He is lucky to have you.

juliettodd · April 2012

I have this argument with my mother often. She will come to visit on a Saturday afternoon and give me a lecture because I haven't started my chores yet. However, I was up at 6 am taking the dogs and the kids to the lake for quality family time. I always tell her that the laundry will still be there when we get home from the lake. She definitely thinks a clean house is more important. But, I think your statement that it wouldn't be as important to a kid is exactly right. Congrats on things going so well with you and BM (post below). And like PP said, SS is lucky to have you!

rachi1285 · April 2012

Thanks for sharing! This is something I'm sure most of us need to hear! DH is always giving me a hard time about not sitting still. When we don't have the kids I'm doing things away from home, like errands or trying to maintain my friendships. And when we do have the kids, my thought is that we're staying home anyways so I might as well get stuff done.

But I agree it's super important that we spend time with the kids, together and seperate. Our normal evening routine right now is dinner, homework, family bike ride or park, Bible stories and bedtime. They know the routine and notice when DH or I aren't present for whatever reason. On the weekends DH and I try to spend alone time with each of the kids. I usually take SD running errands with me (she's very energetic and I have a hard time just "playing" with her because she's very excitable and loud - yes, I'm working on that!) whereas with SD (who's younger, less independant, and more calm like me) we usually stay at home and build blocks or read books or even watch a movie. So we know what works best for us.

PS: We don't watch many movies with the kids (one a week is our rule) but since the weather looks bad on Wed night we're planning on seeing that new kids pirate movie. It looks so cute!

Saran · April 2012

Same issue here. I get so wrapped up in the 3 little ones because they require more work and keeping up with the chores of running a house of 7 soon to be 8 people, I have to remind myself to slow it down and find out what's going on with my 10 year old sk's. At the end of the day, they may not remember if their house was always clean but they will remember the moments I sat and just listened to them about their day or took them for ice cream.

Littlejen22 · April 2012

Thanks for this, I needed this reminder.

lily_721 · May 2012

This is a great reminder. My SSs have made comments about me always being busy and not sitting down. Maybe it was more that they wanted time with me/DH. I'm going to focus more on giving them more time.

FutureMrsWittig · May 2012

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She?s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I?ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo
The shopping?s not done and there?s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there?s a hullabaloo
But I?m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren?t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby lullaby loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I?ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!I?m rocking my baby and babies don?t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

honeybee #1 · May 2012

FutureMrsWittig:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She?s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I?ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo
The shopping?s not done and there?s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there?s a hullabaloo
But I?m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren?t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby lullaby loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I?ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!I?m rocking my baby and babies don?t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

You just made me smile and cry all at once. Thank you.

Phantomgirl · May 2012

aagh thats beautiful, thanks for sharing.

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