Maternity Leave/Male Coworker Vent
mmathewson
member
I am so irritated and have no one to vent to, so here goes...
I work at an engineering firm and I'm the only female engineer. This morning I stupidly brought up the fact that the US is one of only four countries in the world that does not provide any amount of paid maternity leave. For those who don't know, Lesotho, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea are the other three. My manager (a southern good ol' boy) proceeds to tell me that that is one reason our country is "ahead of the game." Seriously?
He goes on to say that women are paid ~20%+ less than men due to the fact that they can't do manual labor (his examle was carrying bags of cement... once again, seriously? we work in an office and I doubt he has ever carried a bag of cement...) and they have to take time off to have babies and take sick kids to the dr. His wife stays at home and so do the wives of most of the other engineers here.
I get so annoyed with men who look at maternity leave as a vacation and any money that a company may spend on a woman who is taking maternity leave as a waste. When will the US join the rest of the industrialized world and realize that profit and billable hours are not the only important things in this world. When do we realize that better work-family balance is needed? I'm pretty sure that happy employees are important, too!
Re: Maternity Leave/Male Coworker Vent
Tell this b@stard that when HE can carry a child for 9 months, squeeze it out his penis, grow boobs HUGE enough to feed a hungry child, rearrange mulitple organs inside his body to accomodate this growing little angel & carry his bag of cement for 9 months then to come talk to you.
Sounds like someone has lil man's syndrome. That's all.
My profession is female dominated, so I don't have to deal with the sexist part of your vent. However, when I was working, I worked as a therapist and everything was all about billable hours. It was super annoying. It didn't really matter the quality of the work you did so much as meeting your weekly/monthly quota for hours. I ended up quitting and not going back to it because it was such a struggle to balance an emotionally demanding job, a family and the stupid quotas the company put on you. When I go back, I will be looking for something salaried because the pressure is less. I totally hear you on the work-family balance. Our country is totally behind on this.
I am with you, I work in healthcare and it took one of the providers here making a stink for us to get anything. The head manager has no children and hates women who do so she never supported it. Now we get one week for every year we have been here after the first year but max six weeks. Better then nothing.
I find people like your co-worker disgusting. They have no clue what women go through to have a baby. We do everything really. I bet a man like that does not help much with his kids. I am just happy I have a very hands on husband expecially seeing we both work full time.
What a pig. I'd be tempted to shove dead fish in his car or something.
His logic on reduced female pay is so flawed. Each job has it's own qualification standards. Some are physical, some aren't. ANYONE, male or female, who can meet those qualifications and requirements and is justifiably selected for the position should recieve equal pay. I do understand that experience or education often increases pay, but having a penis doesn't afford you any of that.
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I am going to disagree with most here, but I do not support government funded maternity leave. I think as a responsible adult you need to make arrangement to fund your own leave. I do not think tax payers should fund maternity leave. If a company wants to offer that benefit than I think it should be for mothers and fathers.
My Dh and I both work for larger companies, so we both can take FMLA. We use whatever earn time we have to fund the time and then save for the rest. I will be taking the beginning of the maternity leave and my DH will take the end to make up 12 weeks. I fully feel it is our responsibility to make it work. I also think the benefits should be equal for the sexes.
LMAO!!!
While I agree with most of what you said....I don't necessarily think that the benefits should be equal for the sexes. Your husband doesn't have to go through the physical act of giving birth. He won't have to recover from that or from the c-section, if that is necessary. And he doesn't have the responsibility of breastfeeding.
And even though I agree that it is our responsibility to prepare for maternity leave...as an individual, it's frustrating as hell to see others that work for companies that allows 12+ weeks of paid leave, when yours provides none or much less. But, I guess that's all part of finding a job that has the benefits you desire. That's the motivation to be picky about who you work for and what you do with your career.
I agree except I prefer a throat punch.
But 1st punch him in the nuts then tell him the pain he feels does not compare to childbirth. If he can walk straight right after that then he can *** and moan about maternity leave...freaking jerk.
haha THIS! I recently put a really stinky air freshener in my bosses BMW after a comment like that. I still smile about it. Dudes R Dumb
Your co-worker is an effing tool. Especially because he is totally opening the company up to potential lawsuits the way he is talking.
That said. I think nothing will ever change until men start taking more responsibility for their own children - asking to go part time, taking FMLA, taking kids to doctor's appointments, etc., at a rate similar to women.
Sorry but I disagree with you. A governement supported plan will help those who work for smaller companies and cannot use FMLA like you and your lucky husband. If taxpayers can fund surgeries for inmates, why not new moms and their newborns? Some of us are not as lucky as you and your DH, we work yet we can't get 6 weeks off from pushing a watermelon out of our parts without fear of losing our jobs. Yes, some companies actually lay off women who need maternity leave. Governmental support and laws will stop this practice. ---My SIL lost her job after baby came...luckily, my brother has a good job (and yes they saved money before hand--but did they really have to let her go?).
I am self employed through an accounting firm so there is absolutely nothing coming my way for when I have our baby. My boss generally is understanding when we are sick, but since a pregnancy hospital stay isn't a surprise illness I have to budget for those missed days of work, plus recovery/maternity leave. I will be taking 4 weeks off unpaid, plus the time in the hospital.
Since I am the ONLY girl in the practice that has gone through actually having a baby no one else has voiced putting together a maternity plan. I do expect when my boss's personal assistant tries for a baby this fall, that suddenly there will be an amazing plan for maternity put in motion, but only because she is pregnant. Bleck.
I do wish the US had some sort of option. I don't think it is good for babies to go into childcare so quickly, and I also think it is hard on a recovering mother to fall back into working so quickly. I wish as a country we had more options, and allowances to new mothers.
I find your thoughts on this idea interesting. My first inclination is that this is your first child......I was fortunate that I was paid for my first 6 weeks of my maternity leave with our DD and my husband and I were able to save for my next 6 weeks but it was extremely taxing on our financial situation. I was convinced that I would be completely ready to return to work after 6 weeks and by week 3 I was literally having panic attacks at leaving my newborn in daycare.
As far as it being an employee's responsibility "to make it work"....do you also feel this way about people who go out on disability? If this is your first pregnancy I am curious to see how you will be feeling come week 6. Giving birth has been one of the most physically demanding tasks that I have ever encountered and that includes learning to walk again after a devistating car accident and being in physical rehab for more than 18 months. One in which I believe takes longer than 6 weeks to fully physically AND emotionally recover from. Studies in other countries have shown that longer, paid maternity leave provides companies with better employee longevity and productivity and until women in the US DEMAND better maternity leave then nothing will change.
That sucks, can't believe he's your manager. (Esp. since he sounds like he has a bag of cement for brains).
Post-baby I've worked in several jobs in IT with all guys and fortunately almost all of them were understanding since they had kids...but almost all of them were married to wives who stayed at home or worked part time and that kind of sucked sometimes...like they would sort of understand my situation with a sick kid or whatever, but didn't totally get it because they weren't the ones who usually had to deal with it.
Actually the least understanding boss I had though was a woman. She had five older kids and totally lived at work and didn't see why I couldn't do everything she did. After I quit that job because I was tired of trying to meet her ideal, my next boss - a single childless man - was super accommodating : "You need to leave for a kid thing? Say no more!"
But back to maternity leave - yes, it sucks. And paid or not, some employers balk at employees taking even the 12 weeks unpaid FMLA - I haven't lived it but I've seen it happen to others: "Are you SURE you need to take all of that time? We NEED you!" And even though my job protected my leave and I didn't have an issue, I know my coworkers grumbled.
Final thoughts: while I know I've been paid less than male coworkers for the same work even pre-baby (and my job actually does require heavy lifting!), I console myself that I get hired more quickly and fired a lot less than coworkers I've had (and I've seen and outlived a ridiculous number of layoffs and firings). In this recent mancession, the flip side of those higher salaries is having to justify them.
Nope, this is my third child
I guess I stand corrected. Luckily you and your husband work for large companies which support the time off. Hopefully they will continue to do so. I support paid maternity leave because in the end it supports a better work enviornment.