Anyone WAH and have a nanny/sitter come in?

gymnst1013 · May 2012

MH and I both WAH and finally got a sitter for N 3 days a week. Today is her second day and so far it's been a little shaky. She is great with him but he freaks out whenever I try and leave them alone. I've been playing with them intermittently trying to get him used to things but he's still crying an awful lot. Right now my office is in the back of the living room where they spend a good portion of the day so I know that isn't helping - I plan on moving it upstairs this weekend. How long did it take your LOs to not freak out when left alone with the nanny/sitter?

rosesandpeonies · May 2012

I got out of the way right away just to let my kids get used to her.

Then slowly I was able to be within eyesight without them getting upset.

Kind of like pulling the band aid off.

LALASEPT05 · May 2012

I work from home one day a week and that is really the worst day in terms of separation anxiety. DD goes through boughts of this and it actually started right around 12 months. Now I just kind of say goodbye and go upstairs. It's crazy but I actually try not to come within eye sight until the end of the day. I know it will just upset the apple cart. She's only upset when she can see me. I would just say goodbye at the beginning of the day and then try and leave them to bond together. Good luck!

MBandBud · May 2012

I WAH and DD normally goes to a center. When she is sick and DH is watching her I either need to leave or hide (with laptop and cell phone in bedroom). If she sees me all bets are off for how I break away.

I would strongly suggest only coming in at certain times where the beneift outweighs the drama of you leaving again, so maybe lunchtime? I am sure the first days at a center were rough for my DD but I wasn't there to hear it so I am sure it will be difficult. I think if you don't cut it off your LO will think that you are an option. GL and good for you for moving your office. Mine is right next to the living room so I know what you mean. Hang in there, it will get better!

howleyshell · May 2012

I think you will likely struggle as long as you are visible.

What ended up working for us was having a ritual to say good bye each day.

We still do it to this very day and they're 4 and almost 6!

They would give me hugs and then wave "bye bye" and sing a goofy song:

"Bye Bye, Mommy-O

Bye Bye, Mommy-O

I'll see you again real soon"

(learned it from his pre-school).

A routine around saying goodbye and then getting totally out of his sight will make all the difference in the world.

gymnst1013 · May 2012

Thank you guys so much! Yeah, I'm seeing that it's going to be important for me to be out of sight. And I will definitely make a set ritual for when I leave him with her. I'm hoping in a week or two it will be a lot smoother. Howleyshell, that's so cute that they still sing the song now

kbeach82 · May 2012

I started working from home when V was about 8 months old, and we had a nanny come in for 4 hours or so 3 days a week. I think he was a little too young at that point to really have any separation anxiety issues.

Now that he is a year old, I work in the office 2 days a week and from home the other 3. Our nanny is with him only on the days I am in the office, and he has just recently started getting a little upset when I hand him over to her before leaving in the morning. He gets over it pretty quickly as long as I don't hang around too long once she arrives at out house.

I definitely think that limiting the amount of time you are around them when your nanny is in your home will help him to get over any anxiety he has as quickly as possible. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

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