Community› The Bump Month Clubs› June 2011 Moms
June 2011 Moms
New Discussion

Sitter help - crying

gymnst1013gymnst1013 member
in June 2011 Moms
We finally got a sitter for N 3 days a week, 4 hours a day.  Yay!!  She is here for the second time today.  MH and I both work at home and my office is currently in the back of the living room (I plan on moving it upstairs but need to clean out a room first) so N can see me the entire time.  The problem is he cries his eyes out every time I leave the room or whenever MH comes downstairs and then leaves again.  How long did it take your LOs before they got used to their sitters/nannies and didn't scream when you left?  It's breaking my heart and sort of defeating the purpose.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Sitter help - crying

  • cvl105cvl105 member

    I think your situation is very different because you're at home with him all day and he can see you. Hopefully there are some other WAH Moms with nannies that can chime in...because I would think there's a big difference between dropping your kid off for the day at daycare/sitters and coming in and out of the room all day long, etc. Callie was pretty much fine since the beginning when dropping her off at daycare. I don't think I ever left her crying. Sorry that wasn't much help, I know.


    ~Chelsea~
      image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image"">imageimage
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • CarlaAndJamesCarlaAndJames member
    I agree, the WAH thing makes it so different. Lexi won't even let her gramma hold her if I'm in the room or she knows I'm in the house, she wants me. That's going to take some getting used to.
    photo image_zps90e45ea2.jpg
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • meringue123meringue123 member
    We take her to a sitter, and it took about a week before she seemed okay with us dropping her off.  I bet once he gets used to her he will be comfortable with you being in and out of the room.  Maybe you will have to spend  some time playing with him and the sitter to start out so he sees her as a comfortable person, and not someone he is always left with when mommy and daddy disappear.  Good luck, I am sure it will get better fast!
    Report Reply
  • gymnst1013gymnst1013 member

    imagemeringue123:
    We take her to a sitter, and it took about a week before she seemed okay with us dropping her off.  I bet once he gets used to her he will be comfortable with you being in and out of the room.  Maybe you will have to spend  some time playing with him and the sitter to start out so he sees her as a comfortable person, and not someone he is always left with when mommy and daddy disappear.  Good luck, I am sure it will get better fast!

    Yeah, we've been playing with them on and off today to help things along.  It will work for a while and then he'll remember I'm not right next to him and start crying again.  I'm sure (at least I hope!) it's just a matter of time.  And hopefully moving my office out of site will help too.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MrsSparklesMcGeeMrsSparklesMcGee member
    I don't have any personal experience, but I would try to move your workstation ASAP and have you and your husband avoid coming downstairs for progressively longer stretches.  I think it might be confusing to your son that you're there, but not doing whatever you normally would with him.

     Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker

    Report Reply
  • JuneBugsMommyJuneBugsMommy member
    I would either get your office moved upstairs ASAP or have the nanny play with N in his room/another room in the house. I was a nanny for a family where mom worked at home for the first year of her LO's life. I started when LO was 3 months old so she was very used to me by the time she was old enough to know that mommy was at home but working and it was still difficult to keep her away from mom. Mom's office was very open, didn't have a door and had an opening like a window but it was just open and was pretty close to the living room, so I usually took LO in her room and we played in there.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • cassoppeacassoppea
    imageMrs.SparklesMcGee:
    I don't have any personal experience, but I would try to move your workstation ASAP and have you and your husband avoid coming downstairs for progressively longer stretches.  I think it might be confusing to your son that you're there, but not doing whatever you normally would with him.
    I totally agree. I think you being there is going to make it worse. He's used to being with you and getting your attention. Now you are there but not paying attention to him so of course he's going to be upset. I would try to stay out of the room and let the sitter care for him while you work.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • jessie spanos scaredjessie spanos scared

    imagegymnst1013:
    We finally got a sitter for N 3 days a week, 4 hours a day.  Yay!!  She is here for the second time today.  MH and I both work at home and my office is currently in the back of the living room (I plan on moving it upstairs but need to clean out a room first) so N can see me the entire time.  The problem is he cries his eyes out every time I leave the room or whenever MH comes downstairs and then leaves again.  How long did it take your LOs before they got used to their sitters/nannies and didn't scream when you left?  It's breaking my heart and sort of defeating the purpose.

    I had this same problemI just try to limit any activity that involves me going to the same floor with him.  Usually it's out of sight out of mind with DS.  It's always worse when they can see you but can't have you.  Is it possible to put up a divider or something so he can't see you until you move upstairs?    I would just try to stay out of sight as much as possible.  Eventually it will get better.  DS is usually really happy to see our nanny now but nothing seems to trump mommy.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • emilys629emilys629 member

    imagecassoppea:
    imageMrs.SparklesMcGee:
    I don't have any personal experience, but I would try to move your workstation ASAP and have you and your husband avoid coming downstairs for progressively longer stretches.  I think it might be confusing to your son that you're there, but not doing whatever you normally would with him.
    I totally agree. I think you being there is going to make it worse. He's used to being with you and getting your attention. Now you are there but not paying attention to him so of course he's going to be upset. I would try to stay out of the room and let the sitter care for him while you work.

     

    I agree with this. My husband and I both worked from home and for a few months had a sitter. We would completely separate ourselves from the situation, except when I needed to nurse him. The whole point of the sitter was so I could work, so I was pretty serious about it.

    Anyways, I could never deal with one ear out the door, so I ended up putting him in daycare so I could REALLY work.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • gymnst1013gymnst1013 member
    Thanks for the suggestions ladies.  All good ones!  I will be moving my office asap and will limit my times downstairs and have a definite routine so he begins to understand that when I'm not in the room, he'll be playing with the sitter.  Good to know it does get better!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"