Separation anxiety - still at 3.5??? — The Bump

Separation anxiety - still at 3.5???

My DD is still very clingy when we drop her off at school, sunday school and gymnastics.  We've made some progress by doing a routine at school drop off but it's still not good and terrible at places other than school.  After a few minutes she's fine and has good days.

Has anyone else experienced this?  I thought they grew out of seperation anxiety by 3.

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Re: Separation anxiety - still at 3.5???

  • My 4 year old still has a hard time some days.  She does better when DH drops off.  She has been going to the same daycare since she was an infant and knows the teachers very well but she still has a hard time when I leave.  Some kids just have a hard time with good-byes.  My DD is fine before I get to my car even if I left her crying.  Today she didn't cry but was pouty when the teacher took her (I was giving her a nice snuggly hug and she wouldn't get down to play so the teacher took her to snuggle) and I could hear her calling after me as I walked down the hall but I know if I had waited in the hall for a min, I would hear her laughing or talking to the teacher like it was no big deal.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • We're thinking of seeing a child therapist for some ideas to help with separating. 

    I know she's only 3 and it doesn't really matter that she participates in 'extra' activities but I think she'd have fun in a ballet class or tumbling or soccer etc... (whatever she was interested in doing).  We've tried a few things and it takes her half the class to warm up and then she has a really good time.  All of the other kids are her age and younger and do not have the same issue. 

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  • My DD was/is like this.  She had a rough time at drop-off at school for the majority of the time.  And we couldn't do any classes like dance or gymnastics unless they were parent/tot type classes because she would freak out if I tried to leave her.  Right around 3 1/2 it got a lot better.  We had no problems with school drop-off, we could finally leave her for a couple of hours with a baby sitter, and she was actually able to take a swim class without being in the water with her.  Unfortunately her separation anxiety has come back with a vengeance for the last month or so.  I'm still trying to figure out what is going on with her and what changed.  But I don't think separation anxiety is all that abnormal at 3 1/2.  At least for my DD it was related to her temperament, she's just more shy and slow to warm up.  There are other kids in DD's preschool class that cry when their parents leave in the morning as well.  Have you talked your DD's pedi about this?  Maybe they would have some advice or at least assure you that it's normal and she'll grow out of it?  Good luck!
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  • DS has a lot of trouble with separation.  It started late for him, we did not have the typical problems at 18-24 months, it was probaby at its worst about 6 months to a year ago.  My DS is typically worse than other kids his age when I drop him off at gymnastics or soccer, and its so odd because he is a really social and outgoing kid - it just takes him a while (and a lot of pep talks!) to warm up.

    I also cannot drop him off at preschool because it is awful - DH has to do it every morning.  Also, leaving him with a babysitter can be rough, but not as bad as class or school.

    I only work 2 days a week (T/Th), the other 3 days (M/W/F) I spend with DS, so I wonder if it is related to that?  Maybe he has more trouble separating because his schedule is so inconsistent?

    I haven't worried about it too much, because his cousins (twins) who are the same age as DS are exactly the same way.  My parents babysit them a lot and tell me the kids are perfectly fine 2 minutes after their parents walk out the door - almost like its just a show for them or something...



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    "You reach deeper until you can find the strength.  That's all life is, one big fight after another."

    Angel babies: 9/19/07, 10/08/09, 1/05/11

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