Pre-School and Daycare

Anyone have or want a 3rd?

I have always thought I wanted at least 3 kids, and we have two healthy beautiful boys and I'm so greatful.  But they are quite a hanful :)  By this time with DS1 we were already thinking about ttc #2, but we are no where ready to even think about #3 at this point.  Is that normal?  Will I come around eventually? 

It just seems like DS2 is still so needy, and DS1 has days where he can just be so bad, misbehaving, testing, talking back, etc...it's exhausting.  I really hope we want a third someday, but at this rate, I don't know if it's going to happen.  Some people make it look so easy with 3+ kids!

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Re: Anyone have or want a 3rd?

  • la79alla79al member
    I'm still on the fence about #3.  I find it crazy though that when DD1 was the age DD2 is now, I was already pregnant with DD2.  I can't imagine having another one in 8 months or trying to keep up with the 2 I have while pregnant.  DD1 sounds just like your DS1.  And DD2 is one of those 'jealous if mom even holds a baby' types so I can't really imagine doing that to her right now.  There are some days when I don't know how in the world I could possibly give attention to one more person.  And there are days when I don't know how I am going to make it through the grocery store with the 2 I already have, I'm not sure how I would even keep track of another one.  But at the same time, soon enough DD1 will be starting kindergarten which opens up a lot of my day.  I think at some point we will start going more with the 'if it happens, it happens' approach and cross our fingers that we don't end up with twins!
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  • Jinsy80Jinsy80 member
    Yes, but I'm waiting until both girls are in school. Unfortunately, I'll be 35 at that point. DD1 is super high maintenance and DD2 has special needs...there's no way in the world I would want to add another into the mix at this point. 
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  • We are pg with  # 3. Our girls will be 7 and 4 when baby is born. I think both will be a huge help. I know there will be hard days, but could not imagine having done it a year ago or when DD # 2 was any younger. Both DD's are completely potty trained, so we will have the baby in diapers. 
  • I have 5 year old twins and a 3 year old - all boys.  It is equal parts delightful and exhausting.  If you feel your plate is full now I would definitely wait and see if things settle down.  You may find that two is the perfect number for you.  

    I would like to say it gets easier as they get older but it just gets different.  Like now the twins are in 2 different sports so DH and I take off in different directions and take turns with who takes the LO with them to practice and games.  I don't know what we will do when #3 starts activities as well!  But, we aren't the first couple to have three kids and others have managed - even thrived.  I just assume we will figure it out when we get there!  =)

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  • I definitely want 3 but I think the last one will be spaced a little farther out. I always wanted my kids close in age but I honestly don't know how people do it! It is nice to read this post and hear that other people think and feel the same way.

     I am thinking once DD1 is in school we could entertain the idea of number 3. I am hoping as they get older and more self sufficient it will get easier :) I have pretty much accepted that my life is going to be chaotic.

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  • I'm pregnant with #3 right now. DH and I also thought we'd want at least 3 kids, but after having 2 we, especially me, felt pretty content. DS also has some behavioral and language difficulties that I made me nervous about having more kids. Once DH got the "fever" though, it didnt take much to convince me. I'm not gonna lie, it had a lot to do with not knowing how long I want to be in this baby/SAH phase. Once the kids are in school I'm going to go back to school and start working, so I don't want to wait too long between kids. Having a 3rd is overwhelming to think about at times, and for much of the first half of this pregnancy I was really quite scared/nervous. But now I'm excited and eager to meet this LO that I know will fit in so well with our family. In no time at all it will feel natural (though no doubt will also be a lot of work!).
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  • rsd12rsd12 member
    I have three boys. The age gap between each set is 22 and 21 months. This is how I feel about having #4. I would love to have another (I have found three to be pretty awesome), but I know I could not handle it right now & I can't wait any longer since I am older. But if I was a couple of years younger I would consider having another one once my yongest started preschool.
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • I have three.  My oldest will be 6 in July, my middle will be 3 in a few weeks and my youngest is 5.5 months old.  It's exhausting, but I think that is more because there is a baby in the house.  I don't think I make it look easy, but it so far isn't as bad as I was expecting.  Maybe you will just have 2 and that's okay.  I always knew I wanted 3 so when DD#2 was about 15 months we went for it, took a little while and a m/c, and they ended up 2.5 years apart and my oldest was 5.5 years.  It was good spacing because my oldest was pretty self sufficient and through the naughty toddler stage and my middle was getting less needy and had a big sister who could help her. 
    Mama to Lucy (7/06), Lexi (5/09), and Max (11/11) M/C 12/17/10
  • I have 3 and I love having three but mine are 25 & 27 months apart respectively and it was HARD.  It continues to be hard sometimes.  I have found myself jealous of the moms who stopped at two because life is so easy for them but I still have a 2 year old in all his glory.  I adore him though!!! More spacing would have been nice but now, the further I get away from the baby phase there is no effin' way I want to go back.  I can't wait to be diaperless and sippy cupless : )

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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    For me, never wanted and love our life with the 2 girls.  I could not even imagine having a third.  2 of my sibs have 3 and it doesn't look easy - now that they are older, yes its easier but going places with 5 in the family can be a challenge in our world where things are designed for families of 4.  I have a ton of friends with 3 kids and they love it - just so not what DH and I wanted.  We love that we can each take one of the girls and do 1 on 1 things and at this point, ages 4 and just about 6, they can do so many things on their own.  I love the point where our life is.  A close friend/co-worker has a 3 month old and then 2 older kids that are each about 3 months younger than mine and then a tween step DD and she keeps telling me how much harder it is this time around - she loves all 4 of her kids and wouldn't change a thing - she is just way more tired and overwhelmed this time than last.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • trizzietrizzie member
    I want a 3rd. We may start trying when DD is 2 this fall. I just turned 35 so I have to decide either way quickly.
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  • DH and I have always said 2.  Now that this pregnancy is flying by I wonder if I will ever change my mind.  DH has made random comments about having a 3rd.  Although I am betting we will have our hands full with 2 boys and will end up keeping our family at 4. 
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  • Spin313Spin313 member

    Good God, no!

    When DH and I got married, I said I wanted three kids and he said he would be happy with just one.  We talked about it and decided we would both be happy with two.  Now, I can't imagine having a third.  (Well, okay, maybe somedays when I think about DD being the last baby I have some nostalgia and longing...but then I quickly go back to reality).

    I really enjoy having two kids, but I am tired!  I am a SAHM, plus I volunteer and run two mom groups.  I know I would be totally over-extended with three kids.  I like our family dynamic and one-parent to one-child ratio.

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  • BethPSUBethPSU member
    I am pg with #3.  We always knew we wanted 3 kids and after I had DS#2 I felt like I was made to have babies.  He was seriously an easy delivery/recovery and dream baby.  Then he started walking!  Life got a lot harder at that point (they are 18 mos apart).  I still didn't feel like I was done having babies.  It was a weird feeling, but I knew that stage of my life just wasn't over yet.  I still have those moments of feeling sad that this will most likely be my last baby, but it does feel more final this time.  I am just now starting to get really nervous about having 3 (3 and under- for a month).  
  • jssica2jssica2 member
    Hi im jessica i fell the same as u i have a 3yrold just like yours i have a 9mouthold wold like a nuther one but dont know how it will go. my 3yrold gets needed when i have 2 do someing whith his little sister if he is like this now i cant amgen how it will be whith #3 if that one comes or not.
  • I'm so exactly in your shoes. This was the time where we started discussing ttc last go round and right now my DH's answer is "hell no!"  I don't feel ready to ttc either, but I feel like I will be come fall. In doing so, that would give me a summer '13 baby and then that fall my #1 would go off to kindergarten. Her going to school full time makes the notion of having 3 seem less scary.

    I'm definitely more intimidated by the thought of 3 than 2 and I can't imagine dragging 3 to the grocery. The factor that's hard to predict is how easier your #1 will be given 9+ more months (and to some extent how much easier #2 will be) They change so fast.

    Whenever I talk to people about having a third I constantly get the "but you already have a boy and girl" statement. It's really annoying.

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  • I go back and forth on a 3rd several times a day!  I always wanted a larger family as MH and I are both only children and I just always wanted the exact opposite.  MH is amendment that he is done but once #1 is in school full day and our finances are freed up a bit (and my IUD will expire, lol)  I def think we will be giving it more serious thought.  I don't want to give up my dream for the future just b/c it is difficult now., KWIM?
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  • DH wanted #3 before #2 was even born!  I took a little more convincing and couldn't really contemplate the idea until DD was 2 y/o.  Life had other plans for us and I didn't get PG with #3 (and stay PG) until DD was just over 4 y/o.  It's turned out to be great for us!  DD will be going to KG next year, which helps out a lot.  Both kids were old enough to really get it and that has been fun and very different than when DD was born.  Right now things are a little crazy, but it's nice that I'm home for the end of the school year.  I'm sure we'll be on a routine when the older kids go back to school in the fall and that will help a lot.  I think the biggest difference for us, right now, is that there are 2 times of day where we have to have all hands on deck - in the morning before school and from dinner to bed time.  It's really hard to have one parent taking care of all 3 at those times right now.  It can be done, but not often without getting exhausted. Fortunately, DH WAH.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • I am very interested in a 3rd. Such baby fever. I know it is hard and my girls are wonderful. I can honestly say I have no preference for a 3rds gender, though I'm sure I'd get the .....trying for a boy? question. I just really think one more would complete our family. I'm so greatful for the perfect babies I have and we had to use Clomid for both of them. I was guilty after I had the 2nd one and wonder if I'll feel guilty as well after a 3rd. I know my mom always wanted one more and still regrets it. I would feel the same way, but in no way would ever regret having one more. Does that make sense?
  • I would (probably) love to have 3.  I just need to actually get pg with #2 first. 
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  • imageSpin313:

    Good God, no!

    When DH and I got married, I said I wanted three kids and he said he would be happy with just one.  We talked about it and decided we would both be happy with two.  Now, I can't imagine having a third.  (Well, okay, maybe somedays when I think about DD being the last baby I have some nostalgia and longing...but then I quickly go back to reality).

    I really enjoy having two kids, but I am tired!  I am a SAHM, plus I volunteer and run two mom groups.  I know I would be totally over-extended with three kids.  I like our family dynamic and one-parent to one-child ratio.

    I pretty much feel the same way.  Having two has been really challenging for me, I can't imagine adding another to the mix!  I don't know if I have really high maintenance kids or I just have really poor coping skills or what, but two kids has almost sent me over the edge!  I do feel sad that I'll never be pregnant or have a newborn again, but we'll definitely be stopping at two kids.

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  • My third is now 5 weeks old. Not going to lie, I am overwhelmed. I always wanted 3 and I wanted them close in age. Going from 1 kid to 2 wasn't that big of a transition for me, so I figured adding the third wouldn't be all that much different. Ha! It has been tough( I do realize she is still a newborn, still adjusting and my hormones are crazy) I am not regretting having a third but maybe I would have chosen to space the third out more. With the constant questions and back talk from my 4 year old and the terrible twos of my 2 yo, nursing a newborn and lacking sleep are all a lot to deal with! But I know when they are older they will (hopefully!) being close in age.
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  • Everyone is different.  I have 5 and honestly I could have another!  We always wanted a big family, but agreed that we would take it one child at a time.  I'd love to say that everything is great, but the economy has hit our family hard in the last 2 years.  As I said, I'd love to have another, but I doubt we will because we don't have the financial "cushion" we used to have.
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  • imageclee2009:

    I definitely want 3 but I think the last one will be spaced a little farther out. I always wanted my kids close in age but I honestly don't know how people do it! It is nice to read this post and hear that other people think and feel the same way.

     I am thinking once DD1 is in school we could entertain the idea of number 3. I am hoping as they get older and more self sufficient it will get easier :) I have pretty much accepted that my life is going to be chaotic.

    I feel this way too!

    OP our kids are almost the same spaced apart wise but mine are a little older and I'll tell you that it's is getting easier already as DD #2 can talk more and more every day!
    My 2 girls, both born on a Friday the 13th, are exactly 2 years, 2 months, 2 hours and 2 minutes apart! And Baby Boy joined us October 11, 2013! image
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  • byrne15byrne15 member
    I would really like a 3rd, but our spacing is a bit different than yours.  DS will be 4 years and 7 months old when this one is due.  I would love to have #3, but know that it may not be possible.  We will start trying when this baby is about a year old.

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  • We actually planned on waiting a little longer for #3, but SURPRISE, so now I figure we just embrace the chaos . . . I really don't know. DS is a wild man and DD is a total diva. They are more than a handful, but when they play and giggle together it's totally worth it and I'm looking forward to giving them another playmate. I picture a big pile of children in bed between mommy and daddy on Saturday morning tickling and screaching and arguing over which cartoon to watch and I just can't wait. We MAY even add a fourth eventually, but we just want to wait and see how three works out for us first.  
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  • I would love to try for a fourth if we were more financially stable. I do not want to try just yet, maybe in another 6 months or so, but I hate that the financial situation is what is holding us back. I just don't feel done, but I do love the dynamics of our family. DS and my girls are 15 months apart and are just great together. It is very hard knowing that I may be done and I'm not ready
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