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Trouble TTC
BFN :( feel depressed and alone
Well on day 13piui (Saturday) AF decided to reveal herself. She's been nasty too. I've had low back pain, been crampy and moody. My mood might be because I'm so disappointed that it didn't work though. I haven't been on here to share until now because of my mood either.
I feel so depressed and alone. I just don't understand. Everyone at the clinic was so optimistic what with my cycle being so different that they said it is what I probably needed to work. Then it didn't yet again. It's not fair. There's no reason for it not to work. It didn't help any that it seemed like all my friends were busy this weekend and I was literally alone.
So due to $$ and not knowing what to do I'm taking the next cycle off and have an appointment with the RE to see if he thinks I should do anything different. At least I'll be able to enjoy alcohol and the hot tub again for a little while.
On top of that, I spoke with my MIL on Sunday and she asked if I had heard anything. I told her the bad news and she had the nerve to tell me that maybe I should stop trying and that maybe it wasn't meant to be and that maybe that is why I met my DH to be mother to his 2 boys instead. WTF. She didn't quite say it like that but I still couldn't believe she was saying that.
Anyway, thanks for listening. A little vent always helps.
TTC since 2006
DH reversal 2006
several IUI's 2008-2010
DX:Azoo 07/11
D-IUI#1 10/04/11 w Clomid
D-IUI#2 10/28/11 w Clomid
D-IUI#3 11/21/11 w Clomid, Estrogen and Prometruim
D-IUI#4 ?? w Femara and Menopur
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BFN :( feel depressed and alone
Oh not what you needed to hear, Im sorry that your depressed. I know nothing may seem like it will help, but do somehing nice for yourself or indulge in a treat that you wouldn't normally have.
Clomid- No response
Metformin 1500 mg Femara 5mg + Trigger + TI Round 2 = BFP!
Beta 13DPO: 115, Beta 16dpo: 561 BFP Chart
So sorry to hear your news!!! It's hard when things go so smoothly and there are no real answers for why it didn't work. :-( The alcohol, helped me out a lot!
When I got my last negative MY mother told me that this was just all too emotional and we needed to stop trying and put all of our energy and finances toward adoption. I got off the phone with her. Later when I was calmer I explained to her, that I'm going to be sad, I'm going to cry and I'm going to be upset, but I have my breakdown and then I move on and I'm ready to try again, not give up. All that to say, I'm really sorry about what you're dealing with and the things that she said, it's hard sometimes hearing things from people who you know love you and want to help but that don't actually help at all!
Hopefully, you can relax a little for your month off and get some good info from your RE before moving forward again. Good luck.
IUI #1; m/c;c/p 3/15/2012
IUI #2: Clomid, ovidrel trigger, prometrium;4/5/12; BFFN; IUI #3, clomid and injects; Beta June 8th????
Vend away and I am so sorry for a bfn, sweetie
I know exactly how you are feeling. You are not alone though b/c we understands you!!!
Drinks helps big time and please do something nice for yourself, ok?
It stinks that MIL says insensitive comments. I wish IF gets recognized more so that ppl learn the IF101 what to say and what not to say. {{HUGGS}}
Mar-Apr-May/12: All 3 IUI (w/ Femara) - BFN
May/12 IVF journey in the works...
IVF #1 w/ ICSI #1 (Gonal, Menopur & Ganirelix)
5/29-6/18: BCP, 6/21-6/27: Stim, 6/30: ER
7/5: ET 2 5-days blastocysts are transferred, none made to freeze
7/17: Beta #1 - 616!!, 7/23: Beta #2 - 6818
8/2: u/s #1 - a healthy seahorse found & one empty sac, 8/16: u/s #2 - one peanut! HB @ 180
10/30: It's a girl!!! EDD: 3/23/13
IVF & Miracle baby blog!
My Cherry Blossom baby
Nothing anyone can say is going to make this easier for you, but please know that you're not alone.
Hugs to you.
Dx Hypothyroid 2009 - Dx PCOS 3/2011- TTC since March 2010
DH: Perfect
April 2011 - HSG - Normal/Clear but tilted uterus
May 2011 - Start Metformin
June 2011 - SIS - Arcuate but normal uterus
July 2011 - 100mg Clomid Cycle cancelled - No response
August-September 2011 - Break for oral & eye surgery
Oct 2011 - Femara 7.5mg + Metformin 1500mg + Novarel trigger + IUI #1 = BFN
Nov-Mar 2012- Break due to DH ship schedule
April 2012 - Femara 7.5mg + Metformin 1500mg + Novarel trigger + IUI #2 = BFFN
May 2012 - Femara 7.5mg + Metformin 1500mg + Trigger + IUI #3 = BFFN
June 2012 - Femara cycle cancelled - No response
Jul-Aug 2012 - Break, getting our financials in order
September 2012 - IVF w/ ICSI and AZH
9/11/12 - ER (34 retrieved, 24 mature, 18 fertilized)
9/16/12 - ET - 5dt of 2 perfect blasts and 7 frosties!!!
Beta #1 - 10/1/12 - BFP!!! 2000+
Beta #2 - 10/3/12 - 4881
Beta #3 - 10/5/12 - 8570
First u/s - 10/9/12 - 6w0d - 2 sacs!!!
Second u/s - 10/16/12 - 7w0d - 2 babies with 2 strong hbs!!
First OB appt - 11/5/12 - "Baby A" looks great, good hb and movement, measuring 10w0d
"Baby B" stopped growing at 8 weeks :0(
12/5/12 - Baby looks great at 14w2d - 165bpm heartrate!
January 4th, 2013 - Lost our Baby Girl, Faith at 18w3d
Emergency D&C to clear infection
We love you and miss you little one
=.= <Insert visual of throat punching MIL> why do people say the dumbest crap! <Hugs to you hun>
I am so sorry about your BFN and that your MIL had that reaction. Hopefully she isn't really one of those malicious MILs and she was just trying in her own way to offer you her idea of comfort, but its hard to see comments like that as anything but hurtful. People who have never dealt with IF just have no idea how to react when really all we need to hear is "I'm so sorry." It's reactions like this that make people like me hide my IF.
I hope you can have a nice big glass of vino while in the hot tub at least once a week during your break cycle. Good luck with your next RE appointment, I hope you can get some clarity on next steps.
Me = 32, PCOS, AO :: DH = 34, SA= all good!
TTC since April 2009
9/11 - Started Acupuncture, began O on my own in November!
1/12 - Consult w/ RE
1/24/12 - Lap & Cystectomy to remove a tumor w/ precancerous cells from left ovary, also removed part of left ovary, no signs of endo noticed at that time
2/12 - forced break to recover from surgery
3/12- given the OK to start treatment w/ RE
3/12 - HSG = right side good, unable to get dye in left tube so cannot verify if it is clear
5/12 - Clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN 6/12 - Medicated cycle cancelled due to cysts, natural cycle instead
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
Just wanted to say THANK YOU everyone for all your kind works. It does help to know there is support out there. Hugs to all of you.