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April 2012 Moms
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MIL issues

aggieamber05aggieamber05
in April 2012 Moms
So this is terrible of me, and dd is obit a week old, but I think my mil is going to come over every single day.  And it's not to come help...cause my mom drove  8 hours to stay and do that.  I worry this is the beginning of a trend and not sure how to handle it if it continues.  She is very overwhelming to be around.  Plus she is watching dd when I go back to work, I want all the time I can have alone with her before I have to.  Any advice?
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Re: MIL issues

  • gisa886gisa886 member
    Talk to her and let her know how you feel. You don't have to be a b about it, but be honest. 
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
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  • aggieamber05aggieamber05
    I already brought it up tactfully to DH and said I hurt his feelings...I know it will devastate her.  She cries every time she even thinks about dd...
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  • MonkeybabeMonkeybabe member

    imageaggieamber05:
    I already brought it up tactfully to DH and said I hurt his feelings...I know it will devastate her.  She cries every time she even thinks about dd...

    That sucks and I feel you, as I have a ridiculously sensitive MIL, but have no advice. Luckily my MIL lives in a different state, but while she was visiting I could barely hold my daughter without hurting her feelings if I wanted her for a reason other than feeding/changing her. 

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  • starbound6starbound6
    Tough one!  What is she doing every day, if she's not helping as you say?  Is she just wanting to hold DD?  Maybe you can work out a schedule where her visits are at a certain time, and she can hold DD and you can nap:)  Does she get along with your Mom?
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  • aggieamber05aggieamber05

    She is just wanting to come over and hold her the whole time.  She about had a fit when we mentioned we dont pick her up right away when she gets fussy.  She never puts her down.  Which worries me for when she is watching her full time. My mom and her get along, but my mom feels the same about her as I do, she is super overwhelming to be around and talks non stop.  It's tough.  Plus my parents live 8 hours away and won't get to see her as often as the in laws will.  My mom is already upset about having to leave her.   

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  • starbound6starbound6

    In that case, you need to lay down the law, either with her directly or have DH do it.  Tell her to back off a bit while your Mom is here, since she's got limited time with DD.  And then explain to her your parenting "rules", ie. when to pick her up and when to leave her fussing, etc.  

    The same happened with my Mom and DS1.  She would coddle him (imo) when she watched him while I worked.  I really had to be firm about that.. and also as he got older she wouldn't ever say no to him.  If someone will be watching your DD for 8 hour days or whatnot, you have to be on the same page.

    Make DH do it, if necessary, but you need to have a good discussion about this now.  She might get offended and cry, but your DD is more important.  And so is your Mom's time with her, frankly.  GL!  I know, it's hard:( 

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