Adoption

Intro--kinship/foster/interstate process

Hi!  I've been luking here for a while and finally decided to post my progress/struggles with foster-adopt/kinship care and ICPC.

My DH and I were students when we got the call that SIL was preg.  She has a history of substance abuse, mental health issues, homelessness and a criminal record, so we knew that the chances were high that the child would be taken away, if baby survived the delivery.  SIL gave birth to a healthy baby girl that was placed into foster care immediately.  Now, MIL is taking great care of her but is not interested in adoption due to her own health problems.  DH and I prayed about adopting Baby and decided to start the process, though we had planned to start our careers before having children. 

Baby is in another state, and is getting visits with BM (in jail) and a man who was given parental rights through marriage but is not BF (also in jail, also with several kids in the system).  We were told that birth parents will get six months to attend parenting classes (between jail time) and visits and then the termination of services and rights hearing will be scheduled...now we're going on month 11.

We have completed our foster care home study and PRIDE classes and hopefully next week we will be licensed!  The ICPC from Baby's home state was lost and took over 4 months to be sent to our state.  Coming up in early May is the termination of rights/services hearing and we are expecting BPs to appeal.  They are only supposed to get 30 days to appeal, but the permanency planning hearing has been scheduled for late August.  We were told that BPs will continue to get visits (even after termination of rights) until the PP hearing. 

This entire process makes me wonder if the best interest of the child is mind.  Losing paper work, giving the BPs chance after chance to prove themselves, the extended time period between termination of rights and permanency planning...I understand that the goal is reunification with BPs, but it is my understanding of the laws about babies and the process for young children should be expedited.  Any other adoptive/foster parents going through similar experiences?  Is it normal to take this long for permanent placement of an infant?

 Good new is, I've graduated now and have a full time job. We are excited for baby girl to arrive, no matter how long we have to wait.  Thanks for reading!

Re: Intro--kinship/foster/interstate process

  • That sounds so frustrating. It can be tough when you know there's a baby you want to bring into your home and are just waiting. As far as the time frame, that doesn't sound long to me at all, even though I'm sure it seems like forever for the people involved. Most of the ladies on here who have gone through the foster system, and people I know in person, have gone through at least a year before adoption is finalized. In my county, they won't generally even think about adoption until 15 months after initial foster placement, even if there are sexual abuse issues with the parents. Good luck on your wait; hopefully that sweet baby will be with you soon!

    Oh, and welcome to the board!

    ~Julie image Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
  • Yeah, unfortunately adopting from foster care is just not a quick process, no matter what the circumstance - it took us 2 1/2 years.  The difference, of course, being that we were fostering them and had 2 out of our 3 children since they were newborns.  I can only imagine how hard it is to watch the process drag along w/o the baby in your arms.

    One thing stood out to me though, it doesnt seem right that they would continue visits after TPR or termination of services.  at that point bio parents have no rights so why would they be granted visitation??  After TPR our bio mom was granted 1 final "good bye" visit and that was it (though in our particular case we would love to continue visits akin to an open adoption).

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