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Feeling sad

c&dwaiting4ourmiraclec&dwaiting4ourmiracle
in Adoption
Have any of you ever felt like no one understands your feelings of sadness and frustrations in regards to just wanting to be a mommy (parent).  This past week I don't know why, but I've been feeling down and I'm just frustrated about the loss of control in the process.  My hubby is a great husband, but I don't think it affects him the same way.  It hurts him to see me unhappy, but he doesn't express any feelings of frustration and I feel that it's not fair.  Sometimes it hurts my feelings that he doesn't show those emotions.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want him crying, but I do want him to show more emotion.  That's his personality and it's gotten him through 3 combat deployments w/o any psychological effects and I'm very glad for that, but at times I feel alone.  He is currently away on a military exercise and that's probably contributing to my sadness.  I just hope I get over this hump soon.  I'm usually very positive and I know and trust God's plan.  Just needed to vent.  Thank you for listening. 
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Re: Feeling sad

  • so1966so1966

     just sending you lots of (((HUGS)) and can certainly understand how you can feel alone.

     it's an involved process, but i know you will get through it and be rewarded hopefully very soon! hang in there!...

    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    My dh and I are the exact same way and it drove me nuts!! I am sorry...
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • biomaj5biomaj5 member
    We haven't even really discussed adoption (although I've asked him to think about it so that we can have a discussion at some point), but I have a sort of similar experience with IF testing. Every cycle that we're not pregnant is very upsetting to me, and he continues to put off doing a SA like it's no big deal. We definitely have communication issues, but I feel ya on DH not seeming to be as emotionally invested in the process as I am.
    imageimage
    7,065/13,000=54.3%
    Started TTC in June 2008. Not bothering any more.

    Bonafide thread killah
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  • c&dwaiting4ourmiraclec&dwaiting4ourmiracle

    Thank you ladies for the hugs and sweet thoughts.  I just wished I could be as strong as he, but I guess we have been wired different.  I know that some dads even with bio children can take a little while to bond.  I have no doubt he will love our child and be a great father.  I just pray that we get matched soon and that God will place our little one in our arms soon.  Thank you for the support.  

    Carolina 

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  • jackieo1309jackieo1309 member
    My H and I are the exact same way. As much as I don't want him to be sad about it, sometimes I wish he could just understand how I feel. He hates to see me upset about it but he doesn't get frustrated or upset himself and I know he thinks I'm probably crazy sometimes when I freak out over every little thing. In some ways I think this has helped us get through some of this, but sometimes I really do just want him to show more emotion over it. You are not alone! {{HUGS}}
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  • c&dwaiting4ourmiraclec&dwaiting4ourmiracle
    LOL, that's exactly what I think...I'm sure it has crossed his mind about me being a little crazy with our IF and now how emotional I can get at times in our adoption journey. He is just so calm that I wish I could be like that.  God is my rock, but next to Him my husband does keep us sane and on track.  Thanks for the hugs...sending you some too :) 
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  • starbuck71starbuck71

    I read your message and, other than the husband in the military, I thought you sounded SO much like I felt through the process. I went to some really dark places and felt very alone, even though my husband was very supportive.  Hang in there!  The end result will be worth every shred of sadness that you feel right now.  I guarantee it!  This is a really hard process and the loss of control makes you feel crazy sometimes.

    My son is now almost 15 months old.  I cannot describe the feelings that I have for him.  I am now SO happy that I am infertile.  It sounds funny to say, but I completely mean it.  He's the most wonderful baby in the world and the hell that we went through to get him just makes the story that much more special.  You will get there and it will all be worth it.

    Good luck!!!

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