August 2011 Moms
NotSharknado
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Last complaint....I swear.
NotSharknado
member
So, I've posted about sleep more times than I care to admit. DD sleep is at it's absolute worst! We are now on 14 days of her going down at 8pm waking at 10, 11 and staying awake from 12-4am then up for the day at 6. We took her to pedi Friday and there is nothing wrong with her. Pedi said she doesn't think she will grow out of this so we need to start CIO. We saw a cousin over the weekend and she just recently had to do CIO with her son and he is TWO! I can't do this for another two years so tonight is the night. We didn't want to but I really have tried everything I could to not get to this point. Any words of wisdom and encouragement is very much needed girls.
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Re: Last complaint....I swear.
How is she napping?
Have you tried an earlier bedtime?
Depending on your tolerance level, I'd try CIO for naps first. I find a good nap day leads to better night sleep, and it is MUCH easier for us to handle the crying in the middle of the day when we have things to do v trying to sleep! (esp if you're doing a ferber style where you need to go in now and then).
What's her schedule/routine like?
Hang in there. I think sleep training is something that everybody eventually ends up having to do so don't feel bad at all about doing it. Are you going to follow a specific model of crying out where are you modifying for yourself? I.e. Ferber.
Having recently gone through this I have a few pieces of advice.
1. write out your daughters current sleeping schedule, add in feedings as well.
2. Write out what you would like your daughter's sleeping schedule to be like as well as feeding
3. write out what some rules for yourself on when you will go in to visit her. Will you follow Ferber's or go in after 20 (X) minutes etc.
4. Write down what you think are her cries and how you hear them. For example do you think you will go in when she is screaming high high high pitch or just when she sounds like she's fussy. You know her best and know when she is in pain versus when she is just complaining so keep that in mind.
5. do you have a video monitor? Do you have a regular monitor? I don't have a video monitors so don't have any advice although you may want to turn it off. With the regular monitor I recommend leaving it at the lowest possible volume. You will still be able to hear her cries when she needs you but you'll be able to block out any of the low lying crying and fussing and making it easier on you.
Just remember to stay firm. Don't give in and don't pick her up if that's what you decided to do. This will all work out for you and you will have a baby who sleeps really really well very soon.
I'm about to start crying for you. DD has the same sleep schedule, it's getting so so bad so I feel for you!
Last night DH says "we need to call the pedi tomorrow". I told him no, all she's going to tell us is to CIO, and I can't do it. I wish you all the best, and I hope you and your DD get some sleep!!!
I would rock to drowsy not asleep because when she wakes up she won't be in your arms (part of the issue with waking up and not being where you were when you fell asleep). She also is not learning to fall asleep on her own if you rock her to sleep, which hurts you when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Since you're trying to modify how she sleeps/gets to sleep in the MOTN, I'd stop the rocking. Just bottle and kisses, a few snuggles and bed.
You are NOT DOING ANY PERMANENT DAMAGE. IT IS BIOLOGICALLY FEASIBLE FOR YOUR CHILD TO STTN WITHOUT ANY FEEDINGS AT THIS AGE. NO BABY HAS EVER DIED/GOTTEN BRAIN DAMAGE FROM CRYING.
It will be OK. Try to remove your emotions from this process. I know it's hard, but try to think like an objective 3rd party.
Being a second-time mother, I have had plenty of opportunities to hear my kids cry while I'm busy. I cannot get to them to comfort them or give them what they want, so crying doesn't phase me in the slightest.
YOU HAVE TO BE COMFORTABLE KNOWING THAT ALL HER BASIC NEEDS ARE MET. She is fed, clothed, clean and sleepy. She will fall asleep. I recommend starting at 1 minute, checking, 2 minutes, checking, 3 minutes, checking, 4 minutes, checking, etc.
Remember that if you start with this process and then give up half way through the night, you've just let your daughter cry alone in her room for NO REASON. So, commit to it, or don't do it at all.
DH had a really hard time with this. Me, not so much.
I have no advice for you (we did CIO but only because DS would SCREAM and FIGHT every single naptime and bedtime like it was his only mission in life. He slept through the night without too many issues).
I just wanted to give you some words of encouragment. The first few naps, and bed times will be very difficult but it does get better. You are an awesome mama for recognizing that your DD needs something different, and for taking the steps (the very difficult steps) to make things better for her and for yourself!
I wish you the best of luck!! You can do it!
We still occasionally feed in the middle of the night - they're small and sometimes are legit hungry - but not before 4 am. It took a while to get there.
Rocking is lovely, but - I'm sorry momma - it has to go. Rock till drowsy and put her down. she'll probably fuss, but if you rock her to sleep all the time, you can't expect her to go to sleep on her own when she wakes up.
Absolutely this. We rocked her to sleep every night for the first 5 months and I missed it when I had to stop. But I still rocked her to drowsy. If she happens to fall asleep make sure you talk to her and try to wake her up a bit before she goes in her crib. She needs to know she's going into her crib or when she wakes up she'll be startled and cry, thinking she should be in your arms and then need to be rocked to sleep again.
I cried every night she cried (3 nights were 1 hour of crying, 4th night - 10 mins of fussing, every night after she went in crib wide awake, took soother and fell asleep). But it was hands down the best thing to do .... DH and I could share our evenings together again, she was well rested and I was well rested. Her naps improved exponentially and life started to seem normal again. It is a good thing you're doing. For her, for you, for your family.
I agree with the turn the baby monitor sound down to low, you will hear the loud screams but no reason to be woke up for fussing.
When I had it loud at first I would go in for a paci pop, when I tuned it down he would sometimes find it on his own or go back to sleep without it. I didn't even wake up to him all the time then so I got better sleep and he learned without me stressing.