Told fam & reaction was disappointing :(
So I posted last week about how I definitely wasn't telling until Mother's Day due to my family's propensity for having big mouths (I was afraid they'd spill the beans to everyone or on FB). Well they ended up finding out at a family party yesterday - long story - and barely acted excited. I'm pretty bummed out especially because this is my mom's first grandkid, my grandma's first great grandchild and the first baby in our family in general since the 90s. They always make a big deal out of everything - yet I told them huge news and it was like "oh that's great, congrats" and a minute later continued talking about my uncle and his drama because he left early, and a distant relatives ear surgery. They acted WAY more excited when I told them we were engaged, my mom even cried, and in my mind, this is a bigger deal.
No one even asked us questions (like the typical ones everyone asks - are you finding out/when do you find out, do you want a boy/girl, names in mind yet, blah blah blah). I felt like I might as well have told them "oh I got promoted at work." I thought maybe I was overreacting but DH thought the same, and he usually is so laid back and doesn't get offended about anything, ever, but even he was slightly offended. Not that I expect them to whip out trumpets or something and lift me on their shoulders but geez. Both of us are in our 30s, good jobs, own a house, married 4 yrs, it's not like we're having a baby under bad circumstances, which would explain a weird reaction. My friends were way more excited when I told them! Has anyone else's family not reacted the way you thought?
Re: Told fam & reaction was disappointing :(
I also feel sad about my family's reaction.
My mom (who I thought I was super close with) reacted similarly, I told her that she was having twin grandchildren and she said, "how exciting" then told me she was fighting off a cold. She never asked when I was due, or how I was feeling. Now she still won't talk about it. When I bring up the twins, she changes the subject to something else as soon as possible. I have also been married a long time (10 years), and am having a planned child. I thought my mom would be over the moon. I am so confused.
For me, the really scary part of this is with unexpected twins, I was counting on her to come stay with me to help out for a bit. Now I am not so sure I can assume that this will happen, and I am freaked out.
Good luck. I hope your family comes around soon.
Yeah maybe it's a delayed reaction ... it was just so strange. I'm considering calling my mom in a few days and seeing how she acts. I'll see her on Mother's Day so maybe they'll be more excited by then?
Sunglow, that really sucks! Esp because you're having twins! I'm sorry and hope your mom turns around soon too.
I had a very practical reaction from my Mum who wanted to know the details, but wasn't overly excited about it. Three weeks later, after visiting the baby section in Target, she rang me to say that it had finally sunk in and that she was excited. Mum later said that it was hard to come to terms with her baby (I'm 31!) having a baby.
Maybe your family need some time and a few one-to-one chats to get them thinking about it and excited.
I was very disappointed with both my family's and DH's family's reactions at first, but I think they just needed some time for it to sink in. A few weeks after we told, MIL called me and said that she wasn't sure at first how she was going to feel about being a grandma, but now that she has had some time to process it, she is very excited.
My mom did not say much at first, but I called her after a few weeks and she asked me a lot of questions. Soon afterwards, she started buying me maternity clothes and baby stuff like crazy from consignment shops/garage sales. I can tell she is very excited now, even though a few weeks ago she seemed to not care at all.
Give them some time. It might be hard for someone to realize they are going to be a grandparent, and that their baby is now having babies (even if you are in your 30's).
Thanks, ladies! It's reassuring that others have had the same experience, so I hope that my mom will change her tune.
This is coming from a woman who was more excited when I adopted a PET - she was calling herself nana and buying all kinds of toys, practically jumping up and down - so you would think she'd have a better reaction at her daughter having a baby!!
Ha ha, that is my mom exactly. Years ago, I swear she had more excitement about a chair she found on the side of the road than she did when I told her DH and I were engaged! Moms are weird.
When we told my MIL, we went to Kohls and got a cute little onsie that said something about being the best grandma blah blah blah. She opened it and said "yay, a cute little outfit for my dogs!" We were like, seriously? read the damn thing. Then she just kind of looked at us weird and said "oh wow you guys are having a baby?" we confirmed and she wasn't really excited. She basically just said, well that's going to change everything about your life, and I wouldn't get too excited yet, it's early, things go wrong. We were shocked! When we told my parents, they literally jumped out of their chairs to hug us and my mom started crying.
MIL was just shocked, and I guess just didn't process it at the time. She now has already purchased a crib, stroller, car seat and swing for their house. Your family will come around!
LOL - that pretty much sounds like my mom!! Dh was afraid she'd have the exact opposite reaction and be over the top running out and buying diapers and clothes as soon as we told her but I don't see that happening.
That's so disappointing, especially that you went out and bought something and had a special plan, I would've been pissed! I'm glad she's excited now though. LOL though about not understanding the onesie, I showed my mom the u/s pic and she actually said "what is this?" and totally didn't get it. I was planning to make a photo card with the u/s and give it to her on mother's day, now I'm glad I didn't waste my time!
When we told my parents when we were pregnant with DS, they didnt get it. I work PT as their accountant and gave them invoices for approval. One was an invoice for the baby.
This time my mom had her panties in a bunch and was yelling at me (they still think I am a little kid) DH told them to back off, that I am pregnant, and I dont need their drama. They backed off a little in the interest of "if its true". I dont know if they even realize they said that or if they are just too wrapped up in their lives. They are excited now.
When we told my brother and SIL, my SIL was happy and my brother said, isnt that a little soon? You do know how that happens/ how to prevent that, right? He hasnt once said he is happy for us. I dont really care though.
My family was super excited...
but we went to my IL's for the weekend. We made little announcement cards and the whole 9 yards. After dinner we gave it to them and they just opened it and said Congrats and then asked if we wanted any coffee after dinner.
We were quite surprised by their reaction. MIL isn't a huge fan of me...we live 5 hours from them and don't see them frequently, but I just felt so bad for my husband.
They barely talked about the baby etc all weekend long while my family started pegging questions at us.
He called them last week. MIL asked how I was feeling. DH said I'd been dealing with fatigue and m/s...MIL said..well, what did she expect.
Some people suck..don't let it rain on your parade!
We haven't told my parents yet, but SO's stepmother guessed when I passed on the wine at Easter and was downright rude.
Now you guys know that SO and I have been together over 10 years and are in the adoption process. We have made a conscious choice to not get married because it's not for us (does NOT mean we won't spend our lives together!!!!). We have a legal domestic partnership, but in her eyes, this baby is obviously a mistake because we're not married. She's also furious over the adoption for the same reason. She actually told us to put the baby up for adoption to give it to a married couple who could take care of it properly.
I'm not expecting my parents to be super excited, because I think because they're empty nesters for the first time (LB is off to med school on the west coast), they're starting to feel old. Do you think maybe your parents aren't super excited because they've realized they're "old" now?
My mom, sis, and stepfather have known for a while because we did IVF. I feel a little sad because my mom didnt get a big announcement( she wanted to be there throughout entire process), but when I told her I heard the hb she screamed and cried with joy. I plan on telling in laws and rest of family in a few weeks. All of them better be excited. Almost everyone has asked us when are we going to have a baby everyday since our wedding .
Im very sorry for those that didn't get the reactions they hoped for. I hope it just takes time to sink in. If not some people are simply miserable and it bothers them to see others happy. Sad but true.
I'm so sorry they weren't more excited for you. Perhaps they just need a little time to feel like grandparents?
I told my family because I'm super close to them, but I'm just dreading telling my in laws. I just want to keep it to ourselves a little longer. Fortunately, my husband is deployed and he is ok with waiting until he's back in another month to tell them.
I am so sorry you had such a negative reaction. There is no reason for that and I hate it for you.
My stepmom had a negative reaction when we told her about LO#2, but she is a very negative person in general, so I try not to let it get me down.
Maybe try and talk to them more? Maybe they just needed a bit of time for it to sink in. I'm sorry again, I know how bad it hurts.